ISSUE144 Ares战队

Tomas007UID: 2107663

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 435          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-20

This issue argued that the creator of things with lasting value is the artist rather than the critic. I strongly agree with this point, not only because of those various arts the artist have left our society in history, but also their inevitable characters, such as great creating power, deeply perspective and the like.

The belief that it is the critic who endows society with permanent value might based on such three reasons. First, although the artist creates paintings, novels, movies and so on, without the introduction and wide spread from the critic, those artists are not able to make such great progress. Second, the critic works like a filter which help the public recognize and distinguish the great, valuable arts from those valueless ones. Additionally, through feedback information, the critic also gives useful information showing a effective way for the artists' improvement.

However, comparing to the critical contribution and creative works the artist has made, the broadcasting and feedback roles the critic plays is a little trivial.

First of all, it is the artist who creates thousands of arts, which are indeed the carriages of the artist's idea, views and perspectives, but not the critic. Comparing with various and changeable arguments by the critic, the arts are so unique and persistent. Those arts, from the great painting by Da Vinci, to the successful poems by Shakespeare are all well kept in hundreds of famous museums around the world, while the arguments sounds strong at their advent but disappears right away.

Furthermore, the lasting value is created by those authors and involved in their arts, rather than born from the critic's voice. It is true that not every audience visiting museums could understand the actual meaning hidden behind. They get to know it either by the introduction written aside, or through the narrator (解说员)'s explanation. However, the main idea of those introduction and explanation derives from the arts themselves. The critic's voice could not change or alternate the true meaning that the artist tries to express.

Last but not least, by contrast with the feedback information that the critic trys to show, the ideas come from the artist could not be affected at all. Most of the artists with great progress attain their ideas from their spirits of their own, and blow out straight through their works. It is hard to image that there will be no valuable arts, if all the artists listen to the feedback from ciritics everywhere and change their working all the time.

The artist is the bases and foundation of the persistent value of the whole society, the voices from the critic are all ornament and decoration.

baihe1988UID: 2203505

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 435          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-20

This issue argued(issue中最好不要使用argument中经常出现的高频词汇) that the creator of things with lasting value is the artist rather than the critic. I strongly agree with this point, not only because of those various arts the(别用这么多the,后面的artist改成复数——不然后面怎么又用their呢) artist have left our society in history, but also(这儿省略了because of 么) their inevitable characters, such as great creating power, deeply(deep) perspective and the like.

The belief that it is the critic who endows society with permanent value (不明白)might based on such three reasons. First, although the artist creates paintings, novels, movies and so on, without the introduction and wide spread from the critic, those artists are not able to make such great progress. Second, the critic works like a filter which help the public recognize and distinguish the great, valuable arts from those valueless ones. Additionally, through feedback information, the critic also gives useful information showing a (an) effective way for the artists' improvement.

However, comparing to the critical contribution and creative works the artist (artists) has (have) made, the broadcasting (啥意思啊) and feedback roles the critic(我晕——又特指干嘛) plays(play) is a little trivial.
(不需要另起一段——直接接着后面写就好了，关键是Furthermore那儿必需另起一段)
First of all, it is the artist who creates thousands of arts, which are indeed the carriages of the artist's idea, views and perspectives, but not the critic. Comparing with various and changeable arguments by the critic, the arts are so unique and persistent. Those arts, from the great painting by Da Vinci, to the successful poems by Shakespeare are all well kept in hundreds of famous museums around the world, while the arguments sounds strong at their advent but disappears right away. (有点没看懂)

Furthermore, the lasting value is created by those authors and involved in their arts, rather than born from the critic's voice. It is true that not every audience visiting museums could understand the actual meaning hidden behind. They get to know it either by the introduction written aside, or through the narrator (解说员)'s explanation. However, the main idea of those introduction and explanation derives from the arts themselves. The critic's voice could not change or alternate the true meaning that the artist tries to express.

Last but not least, by contrast with the feedback information that the critic trys (tries) to show, the ideas come from the artist could not be affected at all. Most of the artists with great progress attain their ideas from their spirits of their own, and blow out straight through their works. It is hard to image that there will be no valuable arts, if all the artists listen to the feedback from ciritics (critics) everywhere and change their working all the time.(这句话各句子成分之间需要整合一下顺序——最好把if从句放到that和there之间)

The artist is the bases and foundation of the persistent value of the whole society, the voices from the critic are all (only) ornament and decoration.

总结一下：觉得这篇的问题比较多，下面具体说一下。
首先，tomas007和我一样也很喜欢用the。犯特指与泛指不明的错误——这个是小错误，但是读者会觉得文章很别扭，所以要分清到底是用特指还是泛指。
其次，觉得本文的立意有点问题。虽然说issue的文章没有对错之分，但是觉得有些问题（比如这题）采用某种观点（比如本文的完全赞成）是很难写好的。本文很少提及评论家的作用，其中说到艺术馆中的介绍，实质上那些介绍有很多都是评论家的观点。还有就是那个反馈问题，不管反馈数量多少，但是总是有一部分反馈是有点作用的——这些是不能否认的事实。觉得在动笔写一篇issue之前应该认真想想采用哪种观点能更好的说明问题——说白了就是要想清楚采用何种观点才能更容易让老师信服。
第三，还是前面那个issue中的问题——语言和用词的问题，这个问题确实比较难改变，但是平时多注意的话还是有可能有点改变的。
最后说一下，作为45分钟的时间完成的作文，我觉得还是不错的——毕竟自己离这一步还差很远！呵呵！tomas007~加油！