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[a习作temp] Argument71 铜矿开采 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-22 01:01:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
71. Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.

In this argument , the author predict the decline of the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry . To support his conclusion the author provide the evidence that the new method to extra copper from ore can use up 40 percent less electricity than older method ,especially in high proportion of copper in the ore. In addition, the arguer also cited that the old way to extract pure copper from ore especially low proportion of copper in the ore requires large amounts of electric energy. However, the argument is unconvincing for several flaws.

First of all, the argument based on a questionable assumption that new method can actually use lesser electricity than older method .But the arguer provide no evidence to support it.As the author claims in the argument that the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably and new method process the same amount of raw ore with lower energy, we cannot know the amount of pure copper produced by this new method. Perhaps it use less enegery and produce less amount of copper as well. In this case, we cannot figure out which method is better to produce the same amount of copper. Maybe old method costs less energy through this comparison. Another possibility is that since the new method is efficient especially in high proportion ,we have no more information about the energy cost of the new method in other kinds of ore. Lacking this information, we cannot agree with the arguer's conclusion.

At the second place, even if assuming the new method cost less energy than old one by producing the same amount of copper,it is unfair to claim that new method will be acceptable to all copper industries.It is entirely possible that because the new method can only use when the proportion of copper in the ore is high and there is a small amount of kind type of ore.Or perhaps the costs of this new method is pretty high so only a small group use this method. All of these possibilities are unjustifiably to arrive at the conclusion that the amount of electricity will decline significantly. Moreover, they are only two of myriad factors that affect the amount of electricity. Without ruling out all of these possible scenarios, the author cannot guarantee his conclusion safely.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned and unconvincing. To strengthen this argument the arguer must provide more evidence about the productivity of this new method particularly when the proportion of copper in the ore is low and the cost of this new method. In addition, to justify the argument ,we need the proportion of the ore which is full of copper.
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沙发
发表于 2006-7-22 05:08:57 |只看该作者

我来给你看看吧。

In this argument , the author predict the decline of the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry . To support his conclusion the author provide the evidence that( adopting )the new method to extra copper from ore can use up 40 percent less electricity than older method ,especially in high proportion of copper in the ore. In addition, the arguer also cited that the old way to extract pure copper from ore (are)especially low proportion of copper in the ore requires large amounts of electric energy. However, the argument is unconvincing for several flaws.(if you revise it as the concise one with your own profile will be more attractive)

First of all, the argument based on a questionable assumption that new method can actually use(consume) lesser electricity than older method (one).But the arguer provide no evidence to support it.As the author claims in the argument that the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably and new method process the same amount of raw ore with lower energy, we cannot know(which can not represent that how much)(how many) the amount of(delete) pure copper produced by this new method. Perhaps it use(不地道,应该取消耗之意) less enegery and produce less( few ) amount of copper as well. In this case, we cannot figure out which method is better to produce the same amount of copper. Maybe old method costs(expend) less energy through (by) this comparison. Another possibility is that since the new method is efficient especially in high proportion ,we have no more information about the energy cost of the new method (used)in other kinds of ore. Lacking this information, we cannot agree with the arguer's conclusion.

At the second place, even if assuming the new method cost(deplete) less energy than old one by producing the same amount of copper,it is unfair to claim that new method will be acceptable to all copper industries.It is entirely possible that because the new method can only use when the proportion of copper in the ore is high and there is a small amount of kind type of ore.Or perhaps the costs of this new method is pretty high so only a small group use this method. All of these possibilities are unjustifiably to arrive at the conclusion that the amount of electricity will decline significantly. Moreover, they are only two of myriad(multiple) factors that affect the amount of electricity. Without ruling out all of these possible scenarios, the author cannot guarantee his conclusion safely.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned and unconvincing. To strengthen this argument the arguer must provide more evidence about the productivity of this new method particularly when the proportion of copper in the ore is low and the cost of this new method. In addition, to justify the argument ,we need the proportion of the ore which is full of copper( the statistics of what the proportion of the copper account for the total area in ore).1

1.old method can be supplanted by : former measure, previous mode and so forth. Actually, i have the same foible of lacking word's varieties  in my own argument. let's make it better!
2. logic sound, however need more polish on the lauguage,especially on your vocabulary.

:D

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板凳
发表于 2006-7-22 08:51:07 |只看该作者
不要这么开头,没意义.

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地板
发表于 2006-7-22 19:11:32 |只看该作者
谢谢了.很有启发

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RE: Argument71 铜矿开采 [修改]
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