Issue51 [越洋农场站队]第7次作业 monkeycola

monkeycolaUID: 2206472

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
观点：
兴趣和个人需要 以及基本的课程对于教育来说都是很重要的。
1兴趣是学生学习热情的来源，有了兴趣他们可以全身心投入学习以及发挥自己的潜力
在科学的领域中，很多科学家都是因为兴趣才深入研究，投入到自己喜欢的领域
2学习基本的课程知识也是很重要的，对于他们的就业很有帮助。社会也需要不同的人来提高。
time:1 hour
Two factors influence the efficiency of the learning process.One is the interest that one towards particular subjects or discipline,the other is the useful knowledge that should be inculcate to students.Insofar as the interest always promotes the enthusiastic of the students toward learning,it makes many people take it for granted that the education system should be designed to meet the individual needs and interest of each student.However,further reflection shows that increasing educational efficiency should associated both of these two factors.
       
In the first place,interest is the source to promote the enthusiastic of the students which is an integral and necessary part of education.Also interest plays an active role for the students in the process of receiving education just like the role of catalyst in the chemical reaction.With arising interests,the the students could gradually wholehearted devote themselves into education and maximize exert their potential(最大化发掘自己的潜力，不知道写的对不对！). The efficiency will be very high when they learn the subjects which they are most interested of.In the field of science,to some degree,the interests aroused in the education lend credence to most of the achivenment.For instance,the famous scientist Copernicus,due to his interest toward astronomy when he was a student.He devoted himself into researching of astronomy and finally advanced the theory that the earth and other plants revolve around the sun,disrupting the Ptolemaic system of astronomy.

In the second place,the cumulative of useful knowledge could hardly be overestimed.In the process of education,it is also necessary to infuse the useful knowledge to students which can benefit their career.Most of the reason why we receive the education is not only learn what we are keenly interested of, but also make a good preparation for our career. Although we could not expect all the students to be encyclopedia,it is necessary to master some basic knowledge of different fields.For instance,for a students whose major are natural science,it is helpful  for him to learn some other information about arts,music,literature which not only enlighten his or her mind,but also wide the horizon of different fields .In addition, The social purpose of education is to improve every aspect of society, including academy, technology, economy, political system, and people's spiritual status. To approach this goal, society needs people to work in each field.We can deny that everyone wants acquire a decent job after graduation,but if education is designed to meet individual needs and interest preparing to get decent jobs, it is hardly to satisfy the whole society.
  
In sum,the personal interest and needs,and basic knowledge of different in different disciplines are all essential and indispensable to education.To make the education more effective and more efficiently,it is crucial to design some courses to meet students’ interests and needs to inspire the enthusiasm to them,meanwhile instill some other useful knowledge of different fields to students that which both satisfy the need of society and benefit the students’ career.

geniegoUID: 201395

Two factors influence the efficiency of the learning process.One is the interest that one towards particular subjects or discipline, the other is the useful knowledge that should be inculcate[inducated] to students. Insofar as the interest always promotes[用的很好] the enthusiastic[enthusiasm名词形式] of the students toward learning, it makes many people take it for granted that the education system should be designed to meet the individual needs and interest[interests] of each student. However, further reflection[不明确，模糊] shows that increasing educational efficiency should [加be] associated[with] both of these two factors.

[开头的结构比较清晰，表达的也很明确，很清楚的开头段落]
        
In the first place, interest is the source to promote the enthusiastic[enthusiasm] of the students which is an integral and necessary part of education[这个定语从句是在修饰enthusiasm么？integral用的有问题，你可以说enthusiasm是keep education的完整性，但是不能说enthusiasm是完整的部分of education].Also interest plays an active role for the students in the process of receiving education just like the role of catalyst in the chemical reaction.[很好的比喻] With arising interests, the students could gradually wholehearted devote themselves into[一般好像是用to] education[投身到教育之中，我觉得这样说像是在说educator,我觉得还是study比较好] and maximize exert [动词连用]their potential(最大化发掘自己的潜力，不知道写的对不对！)[或者去掉exert就可以了]. The efficiency will be very high[我觉得用much more higher比较好] when they learn the subjects which they are most interested of[of改成in]. In the field of science, to some degree, the interests aroused in the education[直接改成leaning] lend credence to most of the achievement [想表达什么呢？如果说会更容易成功，直接lead to directly吧]. For instance, the famous scientist Copernicus, due to his interest toward [toward好像出现太多次了，你可以换成in] astronomy when he was a student.[这里不应该用句号，句子缺主语] He devoted himself into[to] researching[直接research就可以了] of astronomy and finally advanced the theory that the earth and other plants[planets] revolve around the sun,disrupting the Ptolemaic system of astronomy.

[提出兴趣的重要性，观点很清晰，逐曾深入分析的很透彻，唯独我觉得例子有点牵强，我觉得兴趣的例子很多，这个过于笼统，你可以用一些细节表达兴趣的浓厚，而不是devote一生，因为大部分科学家都devote一生，我觉阿你就可以用John Nash对数学分析很痴迷，甚至被说成是普林斯顿的怪人的例子，具体一点]

In the second place, the cumulative of useful[我觉得用basic比useful明确，因为知识么什么是useless的呢？] knowledge could hardly be over estimed[什么意思？]. In the process of education, it is also necessary to infuse the useful knowledge to students which can benefit their career. Most of the reason[我觉得用the main reason] why we receive the education is not only[to] learn what we are keenly interested of[in], but also [to]make a good preparation for our career. Although we could not expect all the students to be encyclopedia,it is necessary to master some basic knowledge of different fields. For instance,for a students whose major are natural science, it is helpful  for him to learn some other information about arts, music, literature which not only enlighten his or her mind, but also wide[widen动词,或者用broaden比较地道] the horizon of different fields .In addition, The social purpose of education is to improve every aspect of society, including academy, technology, economy, political system, and people's spiritual status. To approach this goal, society needs people to work in each field. We can[是can not吧] deny that everyone wants [to] acquire a decent job after graduation, but if education is designed to meet individual needs and interest preparing to get decent jobs, it is hardly to satisfy the whole society.
  
In sum, the personal interest and needs, and basic knowledge of different [difference或者直接different knowledge] in different disciplines are all essential and indispensable to education. To make the education more effective and more efficiently, it is crucial to design some courses to meet students’ interests and needs to inspire the enthusiasm to them[用法不对，直接删掉吧], meanwhile instill some other useful knowledge of different fields to students that which[which that删掉一个吧] both satisfy the need of society and benefit the students’ career.


[你的思路都十分清晰，分析也没有问题
但是，用词上好像有些问题，语法错误也需要注意，一些词汇的用法需要积累
同时，你的定语从句有些问题，which你在修饰先行词的时候容易离的很远，令人误会，例如文章第一句以及最后一句。]

[ 本帖最后由 geniego 于 2006-7-22 22:48 编辑 ]

nostrumUID: 2124189

Two factors influence the efficiency of the learning process.One is the interest that one towards particular subjects or disciplines,the other is the useful knowledge that should be inculcate to students.Insofar as the interest always promotes the enthusiastic of the students toward learning,it makes many people take it for granted that the education system should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests[/color] of each student.However,further reflection shows that increasing educational efficiency should associated both of these two factors.
        
In the first place,interest is the source to promote the enthusiastic of the students which is an integral and necessary part of education.Also interest plays an active role for the students in the process of receiving education just like the role of catalyst in thean chemical reaction.With arising interests,the the students could gradually wholehearted devote themselves into education and maximize exert their potential(最大化发掘自己的潜力，不知道写的对不对！).我觉得对了 The efficiency will be very high when they learn the subjects which they are most interested of.In the field of science,to some degree extent ,the interests aroused in the education lend credence to most of the achivenment.For instance,the famous scientist Copernicus,due to his interest toward astronomy when he was a student.He devoted himself into researching of astronomy and finally advanced the theory that the earth and other plants revolve around the sun,disrupting the Ptolemaic system of astronomy.到最后终于来了一个例子，前面说理太长了，最好换点例子补上
In the second place,the cumulative of useful knowledge could hardly be overestimed.In the process of education,it is also necessary to infuse the useful knowledge to students which can benefit their career.Most of the reason why we receive the education is not only learn what we are keenly interested of, but also make a good preparation for our career. Although we could not expect all the students to be encyclopedia,it is necessary to master some basic knowledge of different fields.For instance,for a students whose major are natural science,it is helpful  for him to learn some other information about arts,music,literature which not only enlighten his or her mind,but also wide the horizon of different fields .In addition, The social purpose of education is to improve every aspect of society, including academy, technology, economy, political system, and people's spiritual status. To approach this goal, society needs people to work in each field.We can deny that everyone wants acquire a decent job after graduation,but if education is designed to meet individual needs and interest preparing to get decent jobs, it is hardly to satisfy the whole society.文章body部分只有两段，这第二段我觉得讨论的内容有点离题，题目是在讨论教育的有效性和满足需求与兴趣之间的关系，只有在最后一句话才是跟这个有一些关系，再考虑下。  
In sum,the personal interest and needs,and basic knowledge of different in different disciplines are all essential and indispensable to education.To make the education more effective and more efficiently,it is crucial to design some courses to meet students’ interests and needs to inspire the enthusiasm to them,meanwhile instill some other useful knowledge of different fields to students that which both satisfy the need of society and benefit the students’ career.

整体说一点问题就是：
1，        字数偏少，因为时间是00：60：00
2，        Body只有两段，其实完全可以再加一段的，就是反面来看，教育有必要，有可能满足每个学生的需要和兴趣吗？学生对自己的认识是否足够清楚？有的学科很多学生不喜欢，数学物理之类（但是，偶粉喜欢，haha）但是他们是必须要掌握的。

[ 本帖最后由 nostrum 于 2006-7-23 01:10 编辑 ]

zsimonUID: 2232239

一看第一段就是新概念4 secrecy in industry 呵呵赞