issue 36,argument 56 [smile]第二次作业，使劲拍！

applehattieUID: 2195344

大家千万不要留情，有拍必回，欢迎同组和别组成员的砖头雨，呵呵
issue 36 用时一小时左右

The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

I concede that the individuals' greatness could be admitted by their offspring, for the reason that they seem to be more insightful and advisable than the contemporaries lived same time with the great people. However, it is undeniable that the greatness would be decided and respected by the contemporaries just when they were open to the public. So the greatness cannot only be decided by the people who live after them but also by their contemporaries.

Sometimes the inimitable position of a great work completed by the outstanding genius could be immediately decided by the public just when the individual give birth to the greatness in the history. One need look no further than the Chorus, which is very famous, it made the audience feel striking and astonishing when Beethoven put the symphony on the stage just after he finished them. Another example is the book Brief History of Time written by Stephen Hawking who is the most prominent scientist live now. Though the perspectives depicted in this book do not help its author win the Noble Prize which needs experimental evidence, the particular ideas about the origins of the universe and time are very popular among the ordinary people, say nothing of the live scientists now. There are countless instances like Beethoven and Stephen Hawking, their brilliant works were acclaimed by the same period people.

However, we still should be conscious about the unlucky people whose greatness defied by those who live same time with them. In Bruno's era, the religious community was in charge of the whole social thinking, many people believed that the earth is the center of the universe. Regardless of long period imprisonment, Bruno claimed that the universe is infinite, which outraged the religious community. And Bruno was sentenced to death eventually. It is a shame of the Bruno's contemporaries for their reckless behaviors to deny and even eliminate the very exact thinking. Also, the comet discovered by Halley is another greatness that was not decided by contemporaries until Halley was dead. Therefore, it is possible for the contemporaries cannot find out the greatness created by individuals.

Lastly, whether one's greatness would be decided by their contemporaries or by those who live after them has always come with controversy. Some of the greatnesses created by individual was acclaimed not only by the contemporaries but also by the people who live after them, some of these greatnesses could not be decided by the contemporaries but they are be admitted by those who live after them, and even some of the greatnesses existed are not be discovered yet. With the rapid development of technology and science, and the much more wide open mind of people, we believe that people would never overlook any of the greatness by individuals whether it is at the same time or different era with us.

[ 本帖最后由 applehattie 于 2006-7-24 21:32 编辑 ]

applehattieUID: 2195344

Just by finding several molds of actual bodies, and based on unfounded assumption, the author draws a conclusion that the life-size sculpture's value would decrease while the value of miniature would increase. It is unacceptable to agree with arguer when there is no reasonable evidence, and without considering other possible factors.

First, only because have discovered molds of human heads and hands by archeologists on Kali, it is impossible to get a result that the Kalinese artists could not sculpt but just use the human molds to create artworks. The molds have just discovered recently, so there is no sufficient time left the archeologists to chek the molds carefully. Maybe on the serious checking process, the archeologists would find out that these molds even do not belong the same period with the life-size clay statues, and maybe the archeologists would figure out the actual use way about the molds and it has nothing to do with the human sculptures. So we do not understand the necessary connection between the molds and the precise artworks.

Furthermore, without studying the mini statues which are abstract and have different style seriously, we cannot claim that they are not from molds. Though the miniatures are abstract and have particular style, we cannot deny the possibility that they were molded. Maybe the artists make the life-size molds just for experiment, their final destination is to create little one, for the reason that the small one are much harder to form .

However, the rash conclusions drawn by author also suffer from a few other flaws. First, few ancient sculpting tools have been found does not necessarily mean the life-size statues did not made by sculpting techniques, maybe there would be more tools come out when the archeologists perform further research and maybe most of these relics were destroyed because of war. Second, even if the truth that life-size one are produced by molds and miniature are created by sculptor are like the author conclude, it is also unreasonable to draw the conclusion that the bigger sculptures are less valuable than the smaller one. If the number of the life-size one is much smaller than the mini one, then it would be quite not sure whether the miniature have higher value than the life-size one.

To sum up, it is questionable for the author to claim the eventual value which two different styles contain. If the argument concludes the topics discussed above, it would be sound and persuasive.

总感觉自己写的太罗嗦了～

dychangfengUID: 2216148

The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

I concede that the individuals' greatness could be admitted by their offspring, for the reason that they seem to be more insightful and advisable than the contemporaries lived （in)same time with the great people. However, it is undeniable that the greatness would be decided and respected by the contemporaries just when they were open to the public. So the greatness cannot only be decided by the people who live after them but also by their contemporaries.(这个开头比较保守，有点像aru，不过好处是不会有争议）
Sometimes the inimitable(总觉得这个词修饰position怪怪的，不可模仿的地位？） position of a great work completed by the outstanding genius could be immediately decided by the public just when the individual give birth to the greatness in the history. One need look no further than the Chorus, which is very famous, it made the audience feel striking and astonishing when Beethoven put the symphony on the stage just after he finished them. Another example is the book Brief History of Time written by Stephen Hawking who is the most prominent scientist live(living) now. Though the perspectives depicted in this book do not help its author win the Noble Prize which needs experimental evidence, the particular ideas about the origins of the universe and time are very popular among the ordinary people, say nothing of the live scientists now. There are countless instances like Beethoven and Stephen Hawking, their brilliant works were acclaimed by the same period people.（这段不错，论证同时代人可以评判伟大，很全面,例子也很恰当）However, we still should be conscious about the unlucky people whose greatness defied by those who live same time with them. In Bruno's era, the religious community was in charge of the whole social thinking, many people believed that the earth is the center of the universe. Regardless of long period imprisonment, Bruno claimed that the universe is infinite, which outraged the religious community. And Bruno was sentenced to death eventually. It is a shame of the Bruno's contemporaries for their reckless behaviors to deny and even eliminate the very exact thinking. Also, the comet discovered by Halley is another greatness that was not decided（recognize, 换个词吧） by contemporaries until Halley was dead. Therefore, it is possible for the contemporaries cannot find out the greatness created by individuals.（前几天看ets的范文，觉得还是举完例子后解释原因比较容易拿高分，可有时自己也写不来，一起努力吧）
Lastly, whether one's greatness would be decided by their contemporaries or by those who live after them has always come with controversy. Some of the greatnesses created by individual was acclaimed not only by the contemporaries but also by the people who live after them, some of these greatnesses could not be decided by the contemporaries but they are be admitted by those who live after them, and even some of the greatnesses existed are not be discovered yet. With the rapid development of technology and science, and the much more wide open mind of people, we believe that people would never overlook any of the greatness by individuals whether it is at the same time or different era with us.（对不同时代来说，伟大的标准可能不一样，所以说发现所有的伟大不打可能吧，不过倒是一个很美好愿望）
总体来说，这篇文章是thoughtful,but not insightful（这也是我们最难做到的），听连贯的，一个小时写出来，挺羡慕的，我那破文章可不止一个小时了。
有些词汇需要斟酌，适当的换些词，这样给人博学感觉，虽然咱都不是，呵呵

dychangfengUID: 2216148

Just by finding several molds of actual bodies, and based on unfounded assumption, the author draws a conclusion that the life-size sculpture's value would decrease while the value of miniature would increase. It is unacceptable to agree with arguer when there is no reasonable evidence, and without considering other possible factors.

First, only because （主语）have discovered molds of human heads and hands by archeologists on Kali, it is impossible to get（reach) a result that the Kalinese artists could not sculpt but just use the human molds to create artworks. The molds have just discovered recently, so there is no sufficient time left the archeologists to chek the molds carefully. Maybe on the serious checking process, the archeologists would find out that these molds even do not belong the same period with the life-size clay statues, and maybe the archeologists would figure out the actual use way about the molds and it has nothing to do with the human sculptures.（这点有些疑问，发现本身要不要攻击呢？说不好） So we do not understand the necessary connection between the molds and the precise artworks.

Furthermore, without studying the mini statues which are abstract and have different style seriously, we cannot claim that they are not from molds. Though the miniatures are abstract and have particular style, we cannot deny the possibility that they were molded. Maybe the artists make the life-size molds just for experiment, their final destination is to create little one, for the reason that the small one（s) are much harder to form .(富有想像力，呵呵）

However, the rash conclusions drawn by author also suffer from a few other flaws. First, few ancient sculpting tools have been found does not necessarily mean the life-size statues did not made by sculpting techniques, maybe there would be more tools come out when the archeologists perform further research and maybe most of these relics were destroyed because of war. Second, even if the truth that life-size one are produced by molds and miniature are created by sculptor are like the author conclude, it is also unreasonable to draw the conclusion that the bigger sculptures are less valuable than the smaller one. If the number of the life-size one is much smaller than the mini one, then it would be quite not sure whether the miniature have higher value than the life-size one.(我觉得最后这句话该重点论证，而不是一句话带过,个人意见）

To sum up, it is questionable for the author to claim the eventual value which two different styles contain. If the argument concludes the topics discussed above, it would be sound and persuasive.

首先我认为作者的结论好像不止一个，作者用一个论据（模型）得出了几个结论，所以是不是要声明并攻击一下，这样给人思路及其好的感觉）
很佩服作者的想像能力，ets的六分作文都是把每个观点论证很全面， 所以这个能力还是很必要的，呵呵
还有，列提纲可能会好些 还有我也没搞清楚这篇文章的攻击顺序
全部个人意见，希望大家讨论一番

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

issue 36

The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

I concede that the individuals' greatness could be admitted [用decided 吧，admitte 词义太弱] by their offspring, for the reason that they seem to be more insightful and advisable than the contemporaries lived [in] same time with the great people. However, it is undeniable that the greatness would be decided and respected by the contemporaries just when [好像一般用only when, 后面谓语要倒装] they were open to the public. So the greatness cannot only be decided by the people who live after them but also by their contemporaries. [So the greatness can be decided by not only the people who live after them but also their contemporaries.]

Sometimes the inimitable position of a great work completed by the outstanding genius could be immediately decided by the public just when [同上] the individual give birth to the greatness in the history. One need look no further than the Chorus, which is very famous, it made the audience feel striking and astonishing when Beethoven put the symphony on the stage just after he finished them [just after he finished them 可以不要吧？]. Another example is the book Brief History of Time [引号或斜体--书名] written by Stephen Hawking who is the most prominent scientist live now[live now 换 nowdays吧]. Though the perspectives depicted in this book do not help its author win the Noble Prize which needs experimental evidence, the particular ideas about the origins of the universe and time are very popular among the ordinary people, say nothing of the live [同上] scientists now. There are countless instances like Beethoven and Stephen Hawking, their brilliant works were acclaimed by the same period people. [the people lived in the same period .]

However, we still should be conscious about the unlucky people whose greatness defied by those who live [in the] same time with them [ with them 可以不要，要了反而them指代不明] . In Bruno's era, the religious community was in charge of the whole social thinking, many people believed that the earth is the center of the universe. Regardless of long period imprisonment, Bruno claimed that the universe is infinite, which outraged the religious community. And [And换成 in this case 吧？] Bruno was sentenced to death eventually. It is a shame of the Bruno's contemporaries for their reckless behaviors to deny and even eliminate the very exact thinking. Also, the comet discovered by Halley is another greatness that was not decided [ decided 换成recognised 吧] by contemporaries until Halley was dead. Therefore, it is  possible for the contemporaries cannot find out the greatness created by individuals. [it is also possible that, the contemporaries can not find out the coeval individuals' greatness.可能好一点吧]

Lastly, whether one's greatness would be decided by their contemporaries or by those who live after them has always come with controversy. Some of the greatnesses created by individual was acclaimed not only by the contemporaries but also by the people who live after them, some of these [some of these ----〉while other ] greatnesses could not be decided by the contemporaries but they are be [be删除] admitted by those who live after them, and even some of the greatnesses existed are not be discovered yet. With the rapid development of technology and science, and the much more wide open mind of people, we believe that people would never overlook any of the greatness by individuals [  greatness by individuals ---individuals' greatness] whether it is at [at--in] the same time or different era with us.

总体评价（个人意见哈）
1 一个小时写出这样的文章还是不错的 PF --我前面限时写的 字数就很少
2 句式和词汇多注意啦---多看一点资料 慢慢积累吧
3 关于举例可以用微软百科全书，牛人如小牛 小爱 都可以在里面查到详细介绍的
共同努力吧:handshake

applehattieUID: 2195344

谢谢zhy5186612 和dychangfeng的指教
我会好好改的，改好了再发上来！

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

Just by finding [finding 删除可以？] several molds of actual bodies, and based on unfounded assumption, the author draws a conclusion that the life-size sculpture's value would decrease while the value of miniature would increase. It is unacceptable to agree with arguer when there is no reasonable evidence, and without considering other possible factors.

First [-ly-] , only because have discovered [语法，discovered不用提到前面] molds of human heads and hands by archeologists on [on--in] Kali, it is impossible to get a result that the Kalinese artists could not sculpt but just use the human molds to create artworks. The molds have just discovered recently, so there is no sufficient time left [-for-] the archeologists to chek the molds carefully. Maybe on the serious checking process, the archeologists would find out that these molds even do not belong [-to-] the same period with the life-size clay statues, and maybe the archeologists would figure out the actual use way about the molds and it has nothing to do with the human sculptures. So we do not understand the necessary connection between the molds and the precise artworks. [这段不错:victory:]
Furthermore, without studying the mini statues which are abstract and have different style seriously [原文因该是说小塑像不逼真，不像人体，而不是说有不同风格吧？], we cannot claim that they are not from molds. Though the miniatures are abstract and have particular style, we cannot deny the possibility that they were molded. Maybe the artists make the life-size molds just for experiment, their final destination is to create little one, for the reason that the small one are much harder to form .

However, the rash conclusions drawn by author also suffer from a few other flaws. First, few ancient sculpting tools have been found does not necessarily mean the life-size statues did [did--were] not made by  sculpting techniques, maybe there would be more tools come [-ing-] out when the archeologists perform further research and maybe most of these relics were destroyed because of war. Second [-ly-], even if the truth that life-size one are produced by molds and miniature are created by sculptor are like the author conclude, it is also unreasonable to draw the conclusion that the bigger sculptures are less valuable than the smaller one. If the number of the life-size one is much smaller than the mini one, then it would be quite not sure whether the miniature have higher value than the life-size one.

To sum up, it is questionable for the author to claim the eventual value which two different styles [styles --statues] contain. If the argument concludes [includes] the topics discussed above, it would be sound and persuasive.

总体评价（个人意见哈）
1 逻辑主线 discovering molds of human heads and hands-->life-size using molds of actual bodies not scupting , and mini by scuplting (潜台词)-->value decrease/increase
  逻辑分支 discovering molds of human heads and hands -->few ancient Kalinese sculpting tools have been found
   所以我认为因该主要攻击主逻辑的两个步骤，而不是离散的说各种错误，这样论证才有力，而且逻辑清晰； 分支当然也可以稍带一下
2 如果限时写的，还是不错呢 :lol

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

另外你说 别人都分领域写 是因为大家参考 修瑞的提纲了
我楼层资料贴里有

runningpiggyUID: 194977

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

发贴格式有问题，请根据上面这贴子自己修改，谢谢！

别把两篇文章发一块阿。。

[ 本帖最后由 runningpiggy 于 2006-7-25 22:46 编辑 ]

applehattieUID: 2195344

不好意思啊
下次一定注意！～