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[a习作temp] argument38 Ares战队第六次作业(by victor) [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-26 22:47:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
WORDS: 464          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2006-7-26

The arguer concludes that daily use of lchthaid, a supplement from fish oil can prevent colds and lower absenteeism. However, the evidence provided throughout the argument fails to bolster his conclusion. As far as I am concerned, this argument suffers the following drawbacks.

To begin with, the author assumes without justification that eating considerable amount of fish can prevent colds. Yet merely based on the reports of a study, the author cannot convince us that the connection of eating fish and preventing colds does exist. Though people visit the doctor only once or twice per year to visit the doctor, it is possible that in most cases when they catch colds they take medicines by themselves instead of going to the hospital. If this is true, the author's assumption will be weakened. Besides, even if the rate of catching a cold is really low in East Meria, the author can not attribute the cause to high fish consumption. It is entirely possible that other factors, such as exercises and comfortable climate, have contributed to people's immunity to colds.

Secondly, the author falsely depends on the unreliable assumption that it is colds that have led to the absences from school and work. For one thing, common sense informs us that there are a lot of factors which will prevent the students attend the classes on time. Perhaps they don't own a positive attitude toward study. Perhaps there is some thing wrong with the teachers' teaching method and students are reluctant to waste their time at their classes. For another, there are also other reasons, such as having to taking care of their children or suffering other diseases other than colds, that can explain why people cannot go to work. Without ruling these possibilities, the author cannot unfairly conclude that colds are the chief culprit.

Finally, even assuming that the foregoing assumptions are both reliable, there is no evidence to support the author's suggestion that daily use of lchthaid can prevent colds and lower absenteeism. We have no idea about what elements existing in the fishes that can prevent colds, thus it is absurd to believe that eating only a supplement derived from fish oil can. It is entirely possible that other matter in the fish is the key to have the effect. Moreover, to lower absenteeism, they should take some other measures to make people not to be absent from school or work.

To sum up, this argument is not as reasonable as it stands. To make it more convincing, the author would have to prove that eating fishes can prevent colds. In addition, he would have to provide more information with regard to the reasons of people's absences from school and work. Moreover, he needs to substantiate that lchthaid is the very matter that can prevent colds.
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沙发
发表于 2006-7-28 14:43:35 |只看该作者

修改 By ketchup

argument38 Ares战队第六次作业(by victor)

TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
WORDS: 464          TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2006-7-26

The arguer concludes that daily use of lchthaid, a supplement from fish oil(少了,) can prevent colds and lower absenteeism. However, the evidence provided throughout the argument fails to bolster his conclusion. As far as I am concerned, this argument suffers the following drawbacks.

To begin with, the author assumes without justification that eating considerable amount of fish can prevent colds. Yet merely based on the reports of a study, the author cannot convince us that the connection of eating fish and preventing colds does exist. Though people visit the doctor only once or twice per year (to visit the doctor前面已经说过了,多余了), it is possible that in most cases when they catch colds they take medicines by themselves instead of going to the hospital. If this is true, the author's assumption will be weakened. Besides, even if the rate of catching a cold is really low in East Meria, the author can not attribute the cause to high fish consumption. It is entirely possible that other factors, such as exercises and comfortable climate, have contributed to people's immunity to colds.

Secondly, the author falsely depends on the unreliable assumption that it is colds that have led to the absences from school and work. For one thing, common sense informs us that there are a lot of factors which will prevent the students attend the classes on time. Perhaps they don't own a positive attitude toward study. Perhaps there is some thing wrong with the teachers' teaching method and students are reluctant to waste their time at their classes. For another, there are also other reasons, such as having to taking(take) care of their children or suffering other diseases (other重复) than colds, that can explain why people cannot go to work. Without ruling these possibilities, the author cannot unfairly conclude that colds are the chief culprit.

Finally, even assuming that the foregoing assumptions are both reliable, there is no evidence to support the author's suggestion that daily use of lchthaid can prevent colds and lower absenteeism. We have no idea about what elements existing in the fishes that can prevent colds, thus it is absurd to believe that eating only a supplement derived from fish oil can. It is entirely possible that other matter in the fish is the key to have the effect. Moreover, to lower absenteeism, they should take some other measures to make people not to be absent from school or work.

To sum up, this argument is not as reasonable as it stands. To make it more convincing, the author would have to prove that eating fishes can prevent colds. In addition, he would have to provide more information with regard to the reasons of people's absences from school and work. Moreover, he needs to substantiate that lchthaid is the very matter that can prevent colds.  
条理清晰,论证合理

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板凳
发表于 2006-7-28 15:48:20 |只看该作者

提纲的修改 by ketchup

issue25:
trmendous(tremendous);manefect(?)
argument137:
(budgedt)拼写有误
argument143:
补充一点:full-time也不见得是吸引人们工作的因素
argument170:
补充:Although the scientists have now devised a process for killing the bacteria, it may not be effective to kill the bacteria, so there is no assurance that people will buy the Gulf Coast oysters.
PS:建议issue的提纲写上中心论点,作者自己的思路也会更清晰一些。

[ 本帖最后由 ketchup 于 2006-7-28 15:50 编辑 ]

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RE: argument38 Ares战队第六次作业(by victor) [修改]

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argument38 Ares战队第六次作业(by victor)
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