issue130 没几天了狂拍吧

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 429          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-27

The author claims that the socialization of children determines the future of society, and we are incapable of teaching them well. However, In my opinion,the socialization of children do play a role in shaping the future but it is only one of the myriad factors that contribute to the determination of the social destnity . Thanks to the experience from our ancestors and the rapid technological development, we have learned a lot to instruct our offspring to construct a brighter future.

First of all, if children were deeply involved in the society , they may have greater opportunities to succeed or at least to be  good citizens. Fortunatelly, most of school has provide such condition to cultivate their sense of social members. When they play together in the playground or study together in the classroom, they will learn negotiation, teamwork as well as the conformity of the certain regulation naturally and even the harmful outcomes of their negative behavior toward others or society.  All of these give each individual an important lesson to be a good citizen. Moreover, they are more likely to succeed due to the understanding of respecting each other and keeping a good term of others in a team. Therefore I concede that the socialization of children do make a significant contribution to our future.

However, equally important, if not more than, are other facters which is also play a vital role in shaping the furture. History is replete with such examples of whose contribution is not mainly come from the socialization. The president Washington's success in the war sprang from his persistence of facing adversity in spite of his relevant to the genteel American. And who can honestly arguer that Martin Luther King's contribution is the result of his socialization rather than his great religious belief from his parental influence. Bruno , badly socialized from the view of his time people , enunciated the heliocentric theory of Copernicus which started a scientific revolution in the medieval period more because of the ability to remain consistently commit to particular principles and objectives .

With the accumulation of the experience from the past and the development of technology form today, we have enough confident to raise children well . There are various treasures including education experience we inherited from our ancestors. For instance , Confucius ,the most famous Chinese educator, teach us to treat each children differently based on their unique characteristic and Socrates , the famous Greek philosopher, also assert that (and I paraphase):” the genuine education is not inserting stuff of information to a person but rather eliting knowledge from him and drawing out of what he has inside him . On the other hand, if we have some hard problems about instructing children we can simply solve them through getting valuable suggestion and information from experts on the other side of the planet through videoconferencing via satellites or by emailing them via Internet. Educational experience and information can be shared quickly by linking one with another through the globe network. In addition, they are various educational tools available to us in order to make children feel more interesting and more attentive on the class.

I conclusion, we have enough skills and confidence to teach our children well not only from the socializational field but also other aspects which combine together to shape our brighter future.

只写了420多字,改了大半天.真是太慢了关键经常要想想怎么表述.还要多练啊.大家拍吧,没几天了一起加油吧!

helenlhhUID: 2127690

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 429          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-27

The author claims that the socialization of children determines the future of society, and we are incapable of teaching them well. However, In my opinion,the socialization of children do play a role in shaping the future but it is only one of the myriad factors that contribute to the determination of the social destnity . Thanks to the experience from our ancestors and the rapid technological development, we have learned a lot to instruct our offspring to construct a brighter future.

First of all, if children were deeply involved in the society , they may have greater opportunities to succeed or at least to be  good citizens. Fortunatelly, most of school has provide such condition（这里用conditon不太合适吧，有点中文直译的味道，我觉得用chance, opportunity好一些） to cultivate their sense of social members（since school plays a role as a small society我觉得加这一句比较扣题） . When they play together in the playground or study together in the classroom, they will learn negotiation, teamwork as well as the conformity of the certain regulation naturally and even the harmful outcomes of their negative behavior toward others or society.  All of these give each individual an important lesson to be a good citizen. Moreover, they are more likely to succeed due to the understanding of respecting each other and keeping a good term of others in a team. Therefore I concede that the socialization of children do make a significant contribution to our future.

However, equally important, if not more than, are other facters which is also play（好像表达有点问题） a vital role in shaping the furture. History is replete with such examples of whose contribution is not mainly come from the socialization. The president Washington's success in the war sprang from his persistence of facing adversity in spite of his relevant to the genteel American. And who can honestly arguer that Martin Luther King's contribution is the result of his socialization rather than his great religious belief from his parental influence. Bruno , badly socialized from the view of his time people , enunciated the heliocentric theory of Copernicus which started a scientific revolution in the medieval period more because of the ability to remain consistently commit to particular principles and objectives .这段写得很好，赞!

With the accumulation of the experience from the past and the development of technology form today, we have enough confident to raise children well . There are various treasures including education experience we inherited from our ancestors. For instance , Confucius ,the most famous Chinese educator, teach us to treat each children differently based on their unique characteristic and Socrates , the famous Greek philosopher, also assert that (and I paraphase):” the genuine education is not inserting stuff of information to a person but rather eliting knowledge from him and drawing out of what he has inside him . On the other hand, if we have some hard problems about instructing children we can simply solve them through getting valuable suggestion and information from experts on the other side of the planet through videoconferencing via satellites or by emailing them via Internet. Educational experience and information can be shared quickly by linking one with another through the globe network. In addition, they are various educational tools available to us in order to make children feel more interesting and more attentive on the class. 这段是讲如何借鉴教育方法的，主要涉及教育界，如果你觉得整篇字数少的话可以在补充一小段说一下学校和社会可以互相交流，探讨社会到底需要什么样的人才。双方可以达成一定的协议让学生多参加社会实践加强学校教育与学生投身社会的联系。

I conclusion, we have enough skills and confidence（We should be confident） to teach our children well not only from the socializational field but also other aspects which combine together to shape our brighter future.