ISSUE87 同主题第七期[越洋农场]Pewcg8未限时,留链互改

pewcg8UID: 2143213

最终提纲
观点：新手最能够突破创新打破常规，因此他们比专家更可能获得重要的研究发现和突破．(采取有保留的赞成)
正文段１－TS：可以说所有的专家都是由新手成长起来的，新手做出一个个重要的发现才使得自己能够成为专家．
Supporting details: 没有人生来是专家，进入一个研究领域，我们一般是靠着自己的兴趣，但是想要成为一个专家，需要经验，需要更多的掌握专业的知识．但是总有一定的成就或者发现，新手才会成为一个专家．一个研究信息科学的新手，只有经过自己的努力，研究出了新的算法，新的系统设计方案，他可能才会被慢慢的认可，最终成为专家．（本段的目的：首先可以说是定义了新手和专家，方便下文论述，并首先指出了新手和专家的关系以及新手做出重大发现的可能性）
正文段２－TS：新手相比专家，更能突破常规，更能质疑权威，所以也就更可能做出发现．
Supporting details:可以举例来说：就类似踢足球，进了几个球之后，一般就没有动力再去进攻了一样．（lose the momentum）但是新手就不同，他们不怕犯错误，不怕被嘲笑，敢于突破旧的体系．
正文段３－TS：（让步）但是，专家在研究领域的作用是关键的和不可忽视的．
Supporting details: 当然，有了专家的指导，新手才能更好的发挥他们的能量，同时专家的经验和理论基础，可以帮助新手们把他们的发现转化成科学的理论体系．
结论：其实新手和专家可以合作，可以这么说，新手更容易做出重大的发现，专家则把他们的发现理论化，系统化，或者给他们的发现进行解释，研究，最后产生重大的理论成果出来．
正文：
TOPIC: ISSUE87 - "In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries."
WORDS: 628          TIME: 51:51          DATE: 2006-8-1

Nowadays, more and more emphases are put on innovations in all fields of inquiry including technology, science as well as sociology. As far as I am concerned, those beginners in these fields should be encouraged to feel free while doing their researches, because they are likely to break with routine ways and make greater contributions in making new discoveries.

In fact, although we have thousands of experts in all fields of inquiry, it is clear that all these experts, no matter they are specialists or generalists, begin their work as newcomers in their respective fields. Nobody is born to be an expert. People enter a certain field according to their interests at the very beginning, but they will realize later that only enthusiasms can never ensure their success. They need to make sure that they have laid a strong foundation, established a wide scope and they must be ready to make mistakes and to bear fiascos. Only in these ways can a beginner become more experienced and proficient in their researches. They can make some discoveries after that, and probably when a few of their discoveries are significant enough, they will become an expert. Therefore it is clear that before becoming an expert, a beginner must have made one important discovery or more.

It seems, then quite possible for an expert to make more discoveries. But in fact, a beginner will change greatly after being recognized as an expert, which makes it more difficult for him or her to continue to make discoveries. A beginner is more enthusiastic and interested in the research, this beginner has no fears of making mistakes, and more important, this innovator will be more creative and will question those authorities when need to. Establishing the research on a distinct way and break away from the older system of knowledge are also a beginner's characters, all of which can ensure success in making new discoveries. Experts, although they have more advantages over beginners in aspects such as funding, laboratory, technology, equipment as well as social support, can easily lose their momentum after becoming popular. The case in a football match will illustrate this point well. When a stronger team scored several goals and can seal its win, players would be likely to relax themselves a little perhaps sometimes lose their concentrations because their win seems so secure that scoring more goals has little value, especially it is quite possible some players are fear of getting injured. This example reflects the situation of experts well. Experts can not afford mistakes, as they are in the center of public concerns. When an expert wants to establish a new way to do an experiment or announced a controversial theory, the expert will be paid close attention to by the public and criticisms come soon after a failure.

Therefore, it seems that those newcomers or we say beginners are more likely to make significant findings in their research. While the conclusion does make sense in some aspects, it is not quite perfect. The importance of experts in any field of inquiry can not be overlook. It is under those experts' instruction that beginners find the best way to exert themselves. It is common these days, that in a research group, many beginners are joined together and are under the lead of one or several experts. Beginners make mistakes, while experts correct them; beginners make discoveries, while experts explain their discoveries theoretically and even develop a new theory based on these discoveries. In this case, beginners and experts cooperate well in the research.

In sum, it is clear that beginners are more likely to make significant discoveries but they are actually under the help of experts, and we will also depend on those experts to let these discoveries make sense.

WWWXXX2UID: 2143598

改ing

TOPIC: ISSUE87 - "In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries."
WORDS: 628          TIME: 51:51          DATE: 2006-8-1

Nowadays, more and more emphases are put on innovations in all fields of inquiry including technology, science as well as sociology. As far as I am concerned, those beginners in these fields should be encouraged to feel free while doing their researches, because they are likely to break with （断绝还是突破？with去不去都行？） routine ways and make greater contributions in making new discoveries.

In fact, although we have thousands of experts in all fields of inquiry, it is clear that all these experts, no matter they are specialists or generalists, （通才与专才……太邪恶了） begin their work as newcomers in their respective fields. （because）Nobody is born to be an expert.  People enter a certain field according to their interests at the very beginning, but they will realize later （lately） that only enthusiasms can never ensure their success. They need to make sure that they have laid a strong foundation, established a wide scope （of…?） and they must be ready to make mistakes and to bear fiascos. Only in these ways can a beginner become more experienced and proficient in their researches. They can make some discoveries after that, and probably when a few of their discoveries are significant enough, they will become an expert. Therefore it is clear that before becoming an expert, a beginner must have made one important discovery or more. （本段的结论好像不够thorough…只有倒数第二句直接证明了）

It seems, then quite possible for an expert to make more discoveries. But in fact, a beginner will change greatly after being recognized as an expert, which makes it more difficult for him or her to continue to make discoveries. A beginner is more enthusiastic and interested in the research, this beginner has no fears of making mistakes, and more important, this innovator will be more creative and will question those authorities when need to. （好排比，可以再写长一点……嘎嘎） Establishing the research on a distinct way and break away from the older system of knowledge are also a beginner's characters, all of which can ensure success in making new discoveries. Experts, although they have more advantages over beginners in aspects such as funding, laboratory, technology, equipment as well as social support, can easily lose their momentum （……好gre词汇，不过我认为他们失去的是追求真理的热情而不是动力吧） after becoming popular. The case in a football match will illustrate this point well. When a stronger team scored several goals and can seal its win, players would be likely to relax themselves a little perhaps sometimes lose their concentrations because their win seems so secure that scoring more goals has little value, especially it is quite possible some players are fear of getting injured. （这个例子刚好说明了动力）This example reflects the situation of experts well. Experts can not afford mistakes, as they are in the center （focus）of public concerns. When an expert wants to establish a new way to do an experiment or announced a controversial theory, the expert will be paid close attention to by the public and criticisms come soon after a failure.

Therefore, it seems that those newcomers or we say beginners are more likely to make significant findings in their research. While the conclusion does make sense in some aspects, it is not quite perfect. The importance of experts in any field of inquiry can not be overlook. It is under those experts' instruction that beginners find the best way to exert themselves. It is common these days, that in a research group, many beginners are joined together and are under the lead of one or several experts. Beginners make mistakes, while experts correct them; beginners make discoveries, while experts explain their discoveries theoretically and even develop a new theory based on these discoveries. In this case, beginners and experts cooperate well in the research. （很好的论证）

In sum, it is clear that beginners are more likely to make significant discoveries but they are actually under the help of experts, and we will also depend on those experts to let these discoveries make sense.


好象不如以前的句子华丽啊:D
观点两反一让步,其实最最后一点有点折中的意思?对你有保留的赞成有些支持不力
不过还是很不错的文章
基本没有句法错误,这点我就不行了....
米花哈哈

[ 本帖最后由 WWWXXX2 于 2006-8-1 20:23 编辑 ]

清新氧气UID: 2215684

Nowadays, more and more emphases are put on innovations in all fields of inquiry including technology, science as well as sociology. [觉得第一句有点多余其实,没有点出要害啊,可以加个and …..点出要点吧]As far as I am concerned, those beginners in these fields should be encouraged to feel free while doing their researches, because they are likely to break with routine ways and make greater contributions in making new discoveries.

In fact, although we have thousands of experts in all fields of inquiry, it is clear that all these experts, no matter they are specialists or generalists, begin their work as newcomers in their respective fields. Nobody is born to be an expert. People enter a certain field according to their interests at the very beginning, but they will realize later that only enthusiasms can never ensure their success. They need to make sure that they have laid a strong foundation, established a wide scope and they must be ready to make mistakes and to bear fiascos.[呵呵 西班牙词源词汇 不错] Only in these ways can a beginner become more experienced and proficient in their researches. They can make some discoveries after that, and probably when a few of their discoveries are significant enough, they will become an expert. Therefore it is clear that before becoming an expert, a beginner must have made one important discovery or more. [觉得还是TS的问题,没有重点,我的感觉仿佛是在说专家集合了新手和经验的优点,与你的提纲似乎不符]

It seems, then quite possible for an expert to make more discoveries. But in fact, a beginner will change greatly after being recognized as an expert, which makes it more difficult for him or her to continue to make discoveries. A beginner is more enthusiastic and interested in the research, this beginner has no fears of making mistakes, and more important, this innovator will be more creative and will question those authorities when need to[necessary 即可]. Establishing the research on a distinct way and break away from the older system of knowledge are also a beginner's characters, all of which can ensure success in making new discoveries. Experts, although they have more advantages over beginners in aspects such as funding, laboratory, technology, equipment as well as social support, can easily lose their momentum after becoming popular. The case in a football match will illustrate this point well. When a stronger team scored several goals and can seal its win, players would be likely to relax themselves a little perhaps sometimes lose their concentrations because their win seems so secure that scoring more goals has little value, especially it is quite possible some players are fear of getting injured.[例子不错] This example reflects the situation of experts well. Experts can not afford mistakes, as they are in the center of public concerns. When an expert wants to establish a new way to do an experiment or announced a controversial theory, the expert will be paid close attention to by the public and criticisms come soon after a failure. [这个似乎是媒体与专家的关系把 不太和球场例子对的上啊]

Therefore, it seems that those newcomers or we say beginners are more likely to make significant findings in their research. While the conclusion does make sense in some aspects, it is not quite perfect. The importance of experts in any field of inquiry can not be overlook. It is under those experts' instruction that beginners find the best way to exert themselves. It is common these days, that in a research group, many beginners are joined together and are under the lead of one or several experts. Beginners make mistakes, while experts correct them; beginners make discoveries, while experts explain their discoveries theoretically and even develop a new theory based on these discoveries. In this case, beginners and experts cooperate well in the research.

In sum, it is clear that beginners are more likely to make significant discoveries but they are actually under the help of experts, and we will also depend on those experts to let these discoveries make sense.

[觉得提纲很吸引我, 字数不错,但是语言功底还是不够的感觉 而且TS不够明确有力]

PsychocandyUID: 171159

ISSUE87 同主题第七期[越洋农场]Pewcg8未限时,留链互改

最终提纲
观点：新手最能够突破创新打破常规，因此他们比专家更可能获得重要的研究发现和突破．(采取有保留的赞成)
正文段１－TS：可以说所有的专家都是由新手成长起来的，新手做出一个个重要的发现才使得自己能够成为专家．
Supporting details: 没有人生来是专家，进入一个研究领域，我们一般是靠着自己的兴趣，但是想要成为一个专家，需要经验，需要更多的掌握专业的知识．但是总有一定的成就或者发现，新手才会成为一个专家．一个研究信息科学的新手，只有经过自己的努力，研究出了新的算法，新的系统设计方案，他可能才会被慢慢的认可，最终成为专家．本段的目的：首先可以说是定义了新手和专家，方便下文论述，并首先指出了新手和专家的关系以及新手做出重大发现的可能性
正文段２－TS：新手相比专家，更能突破常规，更能质疑权威，所以也就更可能做出发现．
Supporting details:可以举例来说：就类似踢足球，进了几个球之后，一般就没有动力再去进攻了一样．lose the momentum但是新手就不同，他们不怕犯错误，不怕被嘲笑，敢于突破旧的体系．
正文段３－TS：让步但是，专家在研究领域的作用是关键的和不可忽视的．
Supporting details: 当然，有了专家的指导，新手才能更好的发挥他们的能量，同时专家的经验和理论基础，可以帮助新手们把他们的发现转化成科学的理论体系．
结论：其实新手和专家可以合作，可以这么说，新手更容易做出重大的发现，专家则把他们的发现理论化，系统化，或者给他们的发现进行解释，研究，最后产生重大的理论成果出来．
正文：
TOPIC: ISSUE87 - "In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries."
WORDS: 628          TIME: 51:51          DATE: 2006-8-1

Nowadays, more and more emphases are put on innovations in all fields of inquiry including technology, science as well as sociology.[科学，技术和社会学放在一起不协调，因为社会学属于比较专了，把sociology改成social sciences] As far as I am concerned, those beginners in these fields should be encouraged to feel free while doing their researches, because they are likely to break with routine ways and make greater contributions in making new discoveries.

In fact, although we have thousands of experts in all fields of inquiry, it is clear that all these experts, no matter they are specialists or generalists, begin their work as newcomers in their respective fields. Nobody is born to be an expert. People enter a certain field according to their interests at the very beginning, but they will realize later that only enthusiasms can never ensure their success. They need to make sure that they have laid a strong foundation, established a wide scope and they must be ready to make mistakes and to bear fiascos. Only in these ways can a beginner become more experienced and proficient in their researches. They can make some discoveries after that, and probably when a few of their discoveries are significant enough, they will become an expert. Therefore it is clear that before becoming an expert, a beginner must have made one important discovery or more.[这里说新手必须做过一定的发现才能被认为是专家有点牵强，但还可以接受。]

It seems, then quite possible for an expert to make more discoveries. But in fact, a beginner will change greatly after being recognized as an expert, which makes it more difficult for him or her to continue to make discoveries.[这第二句应该是本段的TS] A beginner is more enthusiastic and interested in the research, this beginner has no fears of making mistakes, and more important, this innovator will be[will be感觉不好，因为先是新手才是专家，为什么将来时态？] more creative and will question those authorities when need to[when they need to]. Establishing the research on a distinct way and break[breaking，前后一致] away from the older system of knowledge are also a beginner's characters, all of which can ensure[ensure不合适，前面一段说“they will realize later that only enthusiasms can never ensure their success”为什么这里这些东西就能确保了？建议把ensure改成contribute to] success in making new discoveries. Experts, although they have more advantages over beginners in aspects such as funding, laboratory, technology, equipment as well as social support, can easily lose their momentum after becoming popular. The case in a football match will illustrate this point well. When a stronger team scored several goals and can seal its win, players would be likely to relax themselves a little perhaps sometimes lose their concentrations because their win seems so secure that scoring more goals has little value, especially it is quite possible some players are fear of getting injured.[这个例子可以再写写因为想赢怕输，而过多地防守，不思进攻；这样和后面论述专家害怕失败可以贴和地更好。] This example reflects the situation of experts well. Experts can not afford mistakes, as they are in the center of public concerns.[很多专家都是默默无闻的，public attention是没有的。但可以指出的是有些专家确实是受公众关注。] When an expert wants to establish a new way to do an experiment or announced a controversial theory, the expert will be paid close attention to by the public and criticisms come soon after a failure.

Therefore, it seems that those newcomers or we say beginners are more likely to make significant findings in their research. While the conclusion does make sense in some aspects, it is not quite perfect. The importance of experts in any field of inquiry can not be overlook[ed]. It is under those experts' instruction that beginners find the best way to exert themselves. It is common these days, that in a research group, many beginners are joined together and are under the lead of one or several experts. Beginners make mistakes, while experts correct them; beginners make discoveries, while experts explain their discoveries theoretically and even develop a new theory based on these discoveries. In this case, beginners and experts cooperate well in the research.[这段关于专家帮助新手，合作的思想很好！]

In sum, it is clear that beginners are more likely to make significant discoveries but they are actually under the help of experts, and we will also depend on those experts to let these discoveries make sense.[这段干脆合到上面一段去好了，因为这段并不是对全文的总结，而是总结上面一段的意思。]

我的Issue87:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ight=%2Bpsychocandy

[ 本帖最后由 Psychocandy 于 2006-8-2 15:17 编辑 ]