argument235 小作一部 ，迎拍，有链必回！

shenzhenhuaUID: 2241271

argument235 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.

"Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics."
字数：516          用时：1:02:00          日期：2006-8-20

In this analysis , the arguer includes that the radio station KNOW should change its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format . The arguer cites the survey taken just before the recent election to show the local citizens' increasingly interest in becoming better informed about politics . The arguer points out that the number of the old men has increased and the sales of recorded music decreased in city A (To simple the sentences , I make the city A represent the listening area of the KNOW station in this writing ) and so on . Underlying the conclusion , the  major assumption is that continuous news broadcasting will have the same effect in neighboring cites and city A . However , careful scrutiny of this argument will reveal that it suffers from several fallacies and therefore is not convincing .（开头是不是太长了...）

First of all , there is no warranted information available to justify any cause relationship between the decrease of the sales of recorded music and the decline of the demand of the rock-and-roll music . To establish this relationship , a myriad of other relevant factors , such as whether the decrease of the recorded music sales result from the sales of rock-and-roll declined . It's possible that recorded music sales dropped while the sales of rock-and-roll stand steady .
Fall to rule out these possibility , I can not buttress this idea .

More over , another problem of the argument is that it doesn't take into account that inherently differences between city A and the cities neighbor . No evidence is showed about these cities except they lie besides city A . The arguer establishes an over simplified analogy between these cities . So it is possible that people in the neighbor cities are more concerning about politics but people here are not . Then these dissimilarities between these cities will certainly undermine the conclusion .

In addition , the arguer takes for granted that the old men do not like rock-and-roll music . The arguer put no evidence to support it . In this fashioning world , it is feasible that increasingly old men become interested in rock-and-roll . Therefore , the more old men may not mean any decline of the demand .

Finally , it exists many problems of the survey about its representation of the sample . Did the survey cover enough amount of people ? Did they chose according to their own views ? And what is more important is that the survey took place just before the election which is the time people favor more about politics . So in my view , the survey is incredible .

In sum , to persuade me to agree with the arguer , he or she should offer more evidence about the sure connection of the old men population’s increase and the rock-and-roll sales’ going down ,  and about the reason why sales of the recorded music decline . To solidify the argument , some details of these cities and the survey must be also revealed .

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

我看开头是你这篇文章里最长得一段了！
倒数2，3段好像草草的谈点
如果没时间了 ，就好好写一段吧！
关键看你论证的怎么样 不是指出毛病的多少

yiyang_1982UID: 2244483

In this analysis , the arguer includes that the radio station KNOW should change its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format . The arguer cites the survey taken just before the recent election to show the local citizens' increasingly interest in becoming better informed about politics . The arguer points out that the number of the old men has increased and the sales of recorded music decreased in city A (To simple the sentences , I make the city A represent the listening area of the KNOW station in this writing )(在需要省略的词语后面打一个括号写上省略后的词就可以了，大家都懂，也不会刁难你) and so on . Underlying the conclusion , the  major assumption is that continuous news broadcasting will （will necessarily bring about the same result as what has happened in...）have the same effect in neighboring cites and city A . However , careful scrutiny of this argument will reveal that it suffers from several fallacies and therefore is not convincing .（开头是不是太长了...）

First of all , there is no warranted information available to justify any cause relationship between the decrease of the sales of recorded music and the decline of the demand of the rock-and-roll music . To establish this relationship , a myriad of other relevant factors , such as whether the decrease of the recorded music sales result(这个词的前后内容我都看不懂。) from the sales of rock-and-roll declined . It's possible that recorded music sales dropped while the sales of rock-and-roll stand steady .Fall to rule out these possibility , I can not buttress this idea .

More over , another problem of the argument is that it doesn't take into account that inherently differences between city A and the cities neighbor . No evidence is showed about these cities except （their geological familarity）they lie besides city A . The arguer establishes an over simplified analogy between these cities . So it is possible that people in the neighbor cities are more concerning about politics but people here(here in A) are not . (Then these)去掉 dissimilarities between these cities will certainly undermine the conclusion .

In addition , the arguer takes for granted that the old men do not like rock-and-roll music . The arguer put no evidence to support it . In this fashioning world , it is feasible that increasingly（这个词放在这里的意思是修饰old?） old men become （increasingly应该放在这儿）interested in rock-and-roll . Therefore , the more old men may not mean any decline of the demand （therefore, large amount of aged people lends little support to...）.

Finally , it(there) exists many problems of the survey about its representation of the sample . Did the survey cover enough amount of people ? Did they chose according to their own views ? And what is more important is that the survey took place just before the election which is the time people favor more about politics(这个观点很特别) . So in my view , the survey is incredible .

In sum , to persuade me to agree with the arguer , he or she（罗嗦了） should offer more evidence about the sure（assumed） connection of the old men population’s increase and the rock-and-roll sales’ going down ,  and about the reason why sales of the recorded music decline . To solidify the argument , some details of these cities and the survey must be also revealed .


1 有点虎头蛇尾的感觉，多多练习会有很大进步的。
2 注意be动词用法
3 不要翻译中文。
4 模板化很强，但是有点过于强了。

yiyang_1982 4.5分

哥们儿有空帮我看看吧：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

ChunyanLi2005UID: 2124266

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768989151

lxmsosUID: 2133854

1。觉得词汇用的有点过了，俺还得用字典。
2。论证不是很充分，毕竟我们要的是内容而不是形式。
3。句子写的还好，能让人明白。
总体还好，4.5吧！