Issue48 写得较为郁闷的一篇，请指教！

lxmsosUID: 2133854

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 512         TIME: 1:54:31 AM          DATE: 01/09/2006

     By reading history books, one easily believes that the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals and the groups of people who also MakeSample Text contributions to most significant events in history have been forgotten. However, I do not agree this opinion since although the common people help a lot in a certain significant event, there is no denying that some individuals played greater roles.

     First of all, the individuals on whom we place emphasis really made bigger contributions in some significant events so that they deserve more respects from people. In a certain event, the individuals we attach importance to are usually the leaders of the whole event. As leaders, they play greater roles compared to common people in the event since leaders are in charge of controlling the whole process and unite people together. For instance, there is no doubt that George Washington played greater role in the America independent war than soldiers and commons there since not so many people had the same leadership and abilities to leader the whole army while most people can defend their freedom under the lead of a great leader. Therefore, the individuals history places more emphasis on deserve what they got because they did distinguish themselves from others by great achievements in significant events.

     In addition, it is easier to set up some role models for historians and common people to study or learn lessons from them. When we begin to look back on the significant events in history, we need to classify people into different groups by the distinct roles they play in those events. Thus, we can rule out what exactly caused the success or failure of an event. For example, when we analyze the reason why the war against crown leaded by Cromwell in England can succeed, we analyze the effect of Cromwell and his soldiers separately. Then we can know what role the leadership and military ability of Cromwell played and how much influence is made by his soldiers. At last, we get to know how important Cromwell acted in that event. Therefore, we better understand the events by setting up the models and study their roles.

     Admittedly, the importance of commons can never be neglected. Just as what my history professor said "History is created by both heroes and commons"; if no solders to help heroes and leaders fight against the enemies or no commons support the heroes and leaders’ ideas and provide the supply to the armies, how could heroes and leaders put their great and delicate plans into practice? Without the help of commons, it is obvious impossible for the heroes or leaders to get succeeded in significant events because commons actually do detail work in a single event. Thus, the groups of people who have contributed to significant events will not be forgotten.

     In sum, after the discussion we made above, we can safely draw the conclusion that we do need to place much emphasis on individuals who played great roles in some significant events since they did a lot and they need to be specially studied although the role of commons cannot be denied.

[ 本帖最后由 lxmsos 于 2006-9-2 04:06 编辑 ]

yetUID: 2247927

建议每段空一行

lxmsosUID: 2133854

感谢楼上的建议！！

天青木子UID: 2118702

1 did contributions -〉made contributions
2 do not agree this opinion ->agree with
3 主题句不好，时态不统一
4the individuals we place emphasis on-> on whom we place emphasis
5play a greater role-> play greater roles
...
6 we can safely draw ->it can be safely drawn that
7 place much emphasis on ->attach importance to
中间部分懒得改了，不好意思。
感觉句子结构和用词不够多元化。读起来确实不够流畅。
不过别灰心！加油练！

lxmsosUID: 2133854

呵呵，谢谢楼上的建议和鼓励！
咳，自己写得都不爽！   
需要唤回激情！！！