issue185 担心例子多了，分析不到位

solohanUID: 2279589

"Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

Since scandals often attract the public attention and uncover many potential societal problems, I strongly agree with the speakers. Retrospect on the widespread scandals happened in politics, academia, and business serve to reveal the effect of scandals. However, the sandals in other areas like entertainment may distract us and bring no positive effect.

Watergate which occurred in 1970s has entered the lexicon as the synonym as corruption and scandal. If it was not been intervened and carefully investigated, the population may never know the huge conspiracy behind the president. After the scandal, there was a reform on campaign finance. In additional, the media begin to play a more and more important role in oversee the government with an aggressive attitude. The Watergate also has profound consequences even many years later. For instance, the influence of Watergate could be detected in the case of Clinton’s scandal, in which the impeachment on president and the attitude by the public could be comparative to the period of Nixon. There is no individual one in history who has such a comprehensive influence on the whole population.  

In academic fields, the scandal of Korean’s Dr. Hwang dominated the media last year, who once was honored as hero of Korea. He forged the experimental results, reported plausible findings and claimed new advances. The Korean government invested a lot in his studies but get nothing in the end. No people suspected his accomplishment before one of his partner pointed out. It is his fakeness in research that strikes the whole academic world and promotes the scholars to put the research moral in a new height. Not only Korea, but also other countries, like China, begins to scrutinize the credence of the researcher's findings, papers, and degrees more severely. Furthermore, it helps the Korean to realize the nation’s overemphasis on success which leads to hurrying for results while ignoring the procedures. Neither speakers nor reformers could have such an extensive influence on the society in a short time.  

In business, the Enron's incident may serve to best exemplify the effect of scandals. A past huge company bankrupted in one day shocked the world. The scandal put the honesty of accounting company and government up to the surface. It exposures the problems in three levels: the fiscal mechanism, the stock market operation, and the political system. Thus people appeal for a finance reform and a more convincing government to ensure the public interest. Without the vivid example happening so close to people’s daily life, the public could not pinpoint the ills in so many regions.

Obviously, the scandals play a role as a critics who lead our views to where is unfair, unconvincing, and illegal. Nevertheless, things are not always the same, particularly in entertainment area. The entertainment area is characterized by everyday scandals. The scandals there are only an approach to catering to the curiosity of humans. It serves nothing to affect people’s value, beliefs and reflection. They may distract us from the more important problems in the society, like poverty, hungry and war.
Therefore, in those situations when it has much to do with public interest, like politics, academia, and business, the scandals could benefit the society by disclose the societal ills and impulse reflection and reforms in political systems, academic attitude and corporation mechanisms. The scandals based on curiosity like in entertainment area could not be considered useful at all.

SinUID: 191588

Since scandals often attract the public attention and uncover many potential societal problems, I strongly agree with the speakers. Retrospect on the widespread scandals happened in politics, academia, and business serve to reveal the effect of scandals. However, the sandals in other areas like entertainment may distract us and bring no (no用得太绝对了) positive effect.

Watergate which occurred in 1970s has entered the lexicon as the synonym as corruption and scandal. If it was not been intervened and carefully investigated, the population may never know the huge conspiracy behind the president. After the scandal, there was a reform on campaign finance. In additional, （in addition） the media begin to play a more and more important role in oversee the government with an aggressive attitude. The Watergate also has profound consequences even many years later. For instance, the influence of Watergate could be detected in the case of Clinton’s scandal, in which the impeachment on president and the attitude by the public could be comparative to the period of Nixon. There is no individual one in history who has such a comprehensive influence on the whole population.  (这两个例子都被用烂了)

In academic fields, the scandal of Korean’s Dr. Hwang dominated the media last year, who once was honored as hero of Korea. He forged the experimental results, reported plausible findings and claimed new advances. The Korean government invested a lot in his studies but get nothing in the end. No people suspected his accomplishment before one of his partner pointed out. It is his fakeness in research that strikes the whole academic world and promotes the scholars to put the research moral in a new height. Not only Korea, but also other countries, like China, begins to scrutinize the credence of the researcher's findings, papers, and degrees more severely. Furthermore, it helps the Korean to realize the nation’s overemphasis on success which leads to hurrying for results while ignoring the procedures. Neither speakers nor reformers could have such an extensive influence on the society in a short time.  

In business, the Enron's incident may serve to best exemplify the effect of scandals. A past huge company bankrupted in one day shocked the world. The scandal put the honesty of accounting company and government up to the surface. It exposures the problems in three levels: the fiscal mechanism, the stock market operation, and the political system. Thus people appeal for a finance reform and a more convincing government to ensure the public interest. Without the vivid example happening so close to people’s daily life, the public could not pinpoint the ills in so many regions.

Obviously, the scandals play a role as a critics who lead our views to where is unfair, unconvincing, and illegal. Nevertheless, things are not always the same, particularly in entertainment area. The entertainment area is characterized by everyday scandals. The scandals there are only an approach to catering to the curiosity of humans. It serves nothing to affect people’s value, beliefs and reflection. They may distract us from the more important problems in the society, like poverty, hungry and war.（如果这里有个小让步就好了）Therefore, in those situations when it has much to do with public interest, like politics, academia, and business, the scandals could benefit the society by disclose the societal ills and impulse reflection and reforms in political systems, academic attitude and corporation mechanisms. The scandals based on curiosity like in entertainment area could not be considered useful at all.

语言真的是太棒了。只是这样一再的堆砌例子怕不会给高分，虽然例子后都有分析，但总的没有上升到一个较高的层次来提升全文的高度。例子都还不错，就是有点烂了，大家都在用这些。娱乐方面的scandals不是全没有用的，写的有点太绝对了。建议每个领域在展开前能有较严密的逻辑分析在里面，告诉大家在这个领域scandal到底是怎么起作用的，而整段是是个案，很容易让人把它等同于argument的hasty generalization.

pigpig2UID: 2287937

楼主的语言真的好好，认真地学习了一遍

norman518UID: 188582

Since scandals often attract the public attention and uncover many potential societal[可以告诉我与social的区别吗？] problems, I strongly agree with the speakers. Retrospect on the widespread scandals happened in politics, academia, and business serve to reveal the effect of scandals. However, the sandals in other areas like entertainment may distract us and bring no positive effect[娱乐界不是有靠scandals成名的吗？难道对他们也是negative effect].

Watergate [which完全可以不要，一个分词短语就可以了] occurred in 1970s has entered[应该是被动，感觉be collected/gleaned into] the lexicon as the synonym as corruption and scandal. If it was not been intervened and carefully investigated, the population may never know the huge conspiracy behind the president. After the scandal, there was a reform on campaign finance. In additional [in addition], the media begin to play a more and more important role in oversee [+ing] the government with an aggressive attitude. The Watergate also has profound consequences even many years later. For instance, the influence of Watergate could be detected [是这个意思：adopted, used for reference] in the case of Clinton’s scandal, in which the impeachment on president and the attitude[attitudes hold by, 应该不只是一种观点和态度吧？] the public could be comparative to the period[case] of Nixon. There is no individual one in history who has such a comprehensive influence on the whole population. [一段中最好有明确的TP和总结]

In academic fields, the scandal of Korean’s Dr. Hwang dominated the media last year, who once was honored as hero of Korea [建议改写]. He forged the experimental results, reported plausible findings and claimed new advances. The Korean government invested a lot in his studies but get nothing in the end. No people suspected his accomplishment before one of his partner pointed out. It is his fakeness in research that strikes[时态] the whole academic world and promotes the scholars to put the research moral in a new height. Not only Korea, but also other countries, like China, begins to scrutinize the credence of the researcher's findings [discoveries or inventions], papers, and degrees more severely. Furthermore, it helps the Korean to realize the nation’s overemphasis on success which leads to hurrying for results while ignoring the procedures. Neither speakers nor reformers could have such an extensive influence on the society in a short time.  

In business, the Enron's incident may serve to best exemplify the effect of scandals. A past huge company bankrupted in one day [and then] shocked the world. The scandal put the honesty of accounting company and government up to the surface. It exposures the problems in three levels: the fiscal mechanism [你能确认吗？financial system], the stock market operation, and the political system. Thus people appeal for a finance reform and a more convincing government to ensure the public interest. Without the vivid [rigorous] example happening so close to people’s daily life, the public could not pinpoint the ills in so many regions.

Obviously, the scandals play a role as a critics[单数] who lead our views to where is unfair, unconvincing, and illegal. Nevertheless, things are not always the same, particularly in entertainment area. The entertainment area is characterized by everyday scandals. The scandals there are only an approach to catering to the curiosity of humans [是这个意思吗？It is through the scandals that the only propose is to catering …]. It serves nothing to affect people’s value, beliefs and reflection [at all]. They may distract us [our attentions] from the more important problems in the society, like poverty, hungry and war.

Therefore, in those situations when it has much to do with public interest, like politics, academia, and business, the scandals could benefit the society by disclose[ing] the societal ills and impulse [promoting] reflection and reforms in political systems, academic attitude and corporation mechanisms. The scandals based on curiosity like in entertainment area could not be considered useful at all.

建议：每段开始TP + example + illuminating of the example + conclusion;

可以讨论一下我的问题！http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-586799-1-1.html

solohanUID: 2279589

谢谢！
我也是觉得分析不够，但又不知道该怎么深入。总感到自己说理时要么很空，要么就是繁琐。
每次写高兴了，就把TP忘记了，呵呵
因为看这几个例子比较多，所以积累了一些语句和表达。
societal我也搞不清，北美上边几乎用的这个
fiscal这个我也是见到这个用法的