issue154 【CSMY作文互改小组】第一次作业

hleeUID: 2159124

ISSUE154

题目：Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."
家长和社会都应该参与到当地的教育中来。教育太重要了，不能把教育单独交给一群专业的老师。
words: 636          date: 2006-12-31

ARTICLE:
What does a student need to study during their school time? Only studies the professional knowledge’s? Who does a student need to learn from in their growing? Just learns from the professional educators in some specific areas? I think most of the people will give a negative answers to these questions, which compatible with my viewpoint. I maintain that not only the professional educators should join the education for the young generation, but also the parents and the communities must be involved in this activities.

Obviously, education always plays an important role in the society, and the quality of education to the young could effect the sustainable development to a country. But education doesn’t only mean to educate the scientific knowledge to a child in nowadays, it even means to instruct a child how to obtain a sterling qualities and personalities and form a positive outlook on life and world. These characteristics could be able to influence the orientation of development of a child, however, these characteristics could not be able to be learnt form a professional educator or from a book, these characteristics could only be able to be assimilated form the societies and lives. The community and the parents always could be the best instructor in the societies and lives.

We can be much easier to read the news that concerns the juvenile delinquency in current newspapers. Most of the problems are caused by devoid of the education from the parents and community. There’s a good example which have been reported on the paper could fully demonstrate the significance of the parents from the parents and community. The parents ignore the education and the communication with their child as they are engaged in their work, so that student was curious to every new things when he came to the high school even the evils in the society. In the end, the child takes the step to the criminal under the lure of the evil. In this instance, both the parents and the community need to take the responsibility for the child’s criminal. First, the child could differentiate the good and evil if the parents takes more time to educate the child, even if the child cannot distinguish them, that the parents could remedy the misbehavior when the matter was still in the infancy under the frequent communication with the child. Second, the community didn’t give the proper attention to the evils was already existed in the society. The community need to keep an close eye on the trends to the evil force and remind the juvenile who was effected.  A Chinese famous educator once said (and I paraphrased): “ Not only  should the education be the matter of a personal, a college, but also needs to extends to every family, everyone, and even the whole society.” We can conclude how important that the parents and the community should participated in the education.

Simply put, if the parents and the community don’t take part in the education, more and more child will take the risk to be a life as the child above. What’s more, the young which is lack of the education from the parents and community would sense they are lack of  care. This will lead to a psychology shade to the juveniles who will think were shunned by the society which would cause the rebellion to all the people and society. The development of the society would be impacted if the power of this crowd was expansion.

Beyond doubt, the development of the society need the professional educators to teach the scientific knowledge and the ways of research. But the education also has the side of personality which need to depend on the parents community. Only we accomplish the work on both sides, the society would be developing to the harmonious direction.

DIDOROSEUID: 2183292

What does a student need to study during their school time? Only studies the professional knowledge’s? Who does a student need to learn from in their growing? Just learns from the professional educators in some specific areas? I think most of the people will give negative answers to these questions, which compatible with my viewpoint. I maintain that not only the professional educators should join the education for the young generation, but also the parents and the communities must be involved in this activities.(感觉不错，但是结合题目并不是讨论家长什么的对教育的作用，而是特指对学校教育的作用，所以还需要贴切一点)

Obviously, education always plays an important role in the society, and the quality of education to the young could effect the sustainable development to a country. But education doesn’t only mean to educate the scientific knowledge to a child nowadays, it even means to instruct a child how to obtain a sterling qualities and personalities and form a positive outlook（觉得这里你想表达价值观，THE RIGHT VALUE SYSTEM比较好） on life and world. These characteristics could be able to influence the orientation of development of a child, however, these characteristics could not be able to be learnt form a professional educator or from a book, these characteristics could only be able to be assimilated form the societies and lives. The community and the parents always could be the best instructor in the societies and lives.

We can be much easier to（more frequently） read the news that concerns(concerning) the juvenile delinquency in current newspapers. Most of the problems are caused by devoid of the education from the parents and community. There’s a good example which have been reported on the paper (in newspaper which~)could fully demonstrate the significance of the parents from the parents and community. The parents ignore the education and the communication with their child as they are engaged in their work, so that student was curious to every new thing when he came to the high school even the evils in the society.（这个因为所以太~~了，改进得温和一点吧） In the end, the child takes the step（take step） to the criminal under the lure of the evil. In this instance, both the parents and the community need to take the responsibility for the child’s criminal(crime). First, the child could differentiate the good and evil if the parents take more time to educate the child, even if the child cannot distinguish them, that the parents could remedy the misbehavior when the matter was still in the infancy under the frequent communication with the child. Second, the community didn’t give the proper attention to the evils was already existed in the society. The community needs to keep a close eye on the trends to the evil force and remind the juvenile who was affected.  A Chinese famous educator once said (and I paraphrased): “Not only should the education be the matter of a personal, a college, but also needs to extend to every family, everyone, and even the whole society.” We can conclude how important that the parents and the community should participated in the education.

Simply put, if the parents and the community don’t take part in the education, more and more child will take the risk to be（lead） a life as the child (stated )above. What’s more, the young which(who) is lack of the education from the parents and community would sense they are lack of care. This will lead to a psychology shade to the juveniles who will think were shunned by the society which would cause the rebellion to all the people and society. The development of the society would be impacted if the power of this crowd was expansion. (你这一段写的是没有他们会怎样，WILL最好都换成WOULD因为是假设，然后如果你要这么写前面一段最好就将有他们有什么好处，但是你前面一段也几乎在讲没有他们会怎么样，所以要分段最好内容也分开)

Beyond doubt, the development of the society needs the professional educators to teach the scientific knowledge and the ways of research. But the education also has the side of （这么用怪怪的）personality which needs to depend on the parent’s community. Only we accomplish the work on both sides, the society would be developing to（in） the harmonious direction.

感觉词汇还是可以，结构上差点，多看范文会再进步的！