Argument117 rt860113--Hamming小组第八次作业

rt860113UID: 2256886

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 558          TIME: 0:52:09          DATE: 2007-1-10

In this argument, the arguer claims that the Valu-Mart stores should increase the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all their stores due to a survey which shows a work-at-home trend. And the arguer further asserts, with the changes, office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. There are several flaws in this argument which make it unstable.

Firstly, no evidence shows the survey from which the arguer sees a work-at-home trend is statistically reliable. We could ask a host of questions, such as who conducted the survey? When was the survey conducted?  How many people take part in the survey? Can the respondents of the survey be representative of the overall employees? The reliability of the survey depend on the answers to the questions above, and without such answers, the arguer can not say for sure that there is truly a work-at-home trend.  

Secondly, even if there is truly a work-at-home trend, we can not say for sure that the demand in office machine and office supplies will increase. The survey does not tell us what kind of work is required to do at home. Maybe the employees are just required to do some background information searching and material reading, which hardly need a pen or a piece of paper not to say printers or copy machines. And the arguer does not tell us whether the employees can do less work in the office. If that is true, maybe the consumption of office machine and office supplies will remain constant.

Thirdly, even if the demand in office machine and office supplies indeed increase, the arguer fails to convince me that the customers would prefer the product of Valu-Mart to the product of other companies, and buy the product of Valu-Mart rather than others'. The arguer assumes that the poor sales in office-supply department is due to the lack of need, but provides no evidence to support it. There may be other reason for the bad sales. Perhaps the sales people of the store are bad-mannered that the costumers feel sick and refuse to buy our product. And probably the office machine and office supplies Valu-Mart sells are old-fashioned or bad in quality. And it is possible that Valu-Mart sells its Office machine and office supplies at extremely high price which hardly any customer can afford. Without ruling out other possible factors that may affect the sales the arguer can not make me believe the sales will necessarily increase after they increase the stock according to the work-at-home trend.  

Fourthly, even if sales of office machine and office supplies of Valu-Mart increased, the office-supply department of Valu-Mart will not necessarily become the most profitable component of the stores. The profit depends on the cost and the revenue. Maybe the revenue of the office-supply department indeed increase by selling more goods, but they may pay more money as bonus to the employees, cost more to stock the goods, and spend more on management. Assuming the profit of the office-supply department has increased, we are not sure if it can become the most profitable department, for the arguer does provide any information about other department of Valu-Mart.


In conclusion, basing the conclusion on a doubtable survey and failing to establish several cause-effect relationships, the arguer can not persuade me to believe the conclusion he made.

tomato217UID: 2126636

In this argument, the arguer claims that the Valu-Mart stores should increase the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all their stores due to a survey which shows a work-at-home trend. And the arguer further asserts, with the changes, office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. There are several flaws in this argument which make it unstable.

Firstly, no evidence shows the survey from which the arguer sees a work-at-home trend is statistically reliable.[survey的定语把主干意思打断了，在主干中间加说明限制修饰词最好为单词或用两个逗号隔开的插入语。建议这里调整下语序：no evidence shows such statistical reliability of this survey, from which…] We could ask a host of questions, such as who conducted the survey? When was the survey conducted?  How many people take part in the survey? Can the respondents of the survey be representative of the overall employees? The reliability of the survey depend on[提问不用这么多，关键是提的问跟reliability如何产生depend的关系应该表述清楚，简单的depend on一笔带过显得这段论证很空泛] the answers to the questions above, and without such answers, the arguer can not say for sure that there is truly a work-at-home trend.  

Secondly, even if there is truly a work-at-home trend, we can not say for sure that the demand in office machine and office supplies will increase. The survey does not tell us what kind of work is required to do at home. Maybe the employees are just required to do some background information searching and material reading, which hardly need a pen or a piece of paper[,] not to say printers or copy machines. And the arguer does not tell us whether the employees can do less work in the office. If that is true[前面是whether问句，无法让人明白true的是哪面。要用假设法，前面建议用Still, it does not rule out the possibility that …], maybe the consumption of office machine and office supplies will remain constant.

Thirdly, even if the demand in office machine and office supplies indeed increase[-s], the arguer fails to convince me that the customers would prefer the product of Valu-Mart to the product[those，避免重复] of other companies, and buy the product of Valu-Mart rather than others'.[语义重复，前半句足矣] The arguer assumes that the poor sales in office-supply department is[are] due to the lack of need[缺少限定词，这个need不着边际], but provides no evidence to support it. There may be other reason[-s] for the bad sales. Perhaps the sales people[salespersons] of the store are [so] bad-mannered that the costumers feel sick and refuse to buy our[?] product. And probably the office machine[-s] and office supplies Valu-Mart sells are old-fashioned or bad in quality. And it is possible that Valu-Mart sells its Office machine[-s] and office supplies at extremely high price which hardly any customer can afford. Without ruling out other possible factors that may affect the sales the arguer can not make me believe the sales will necessarily increase after they increase the stock according to the work-at-home trend. [这段中间已经展开得不错了，最后一句套话就可以省略了。Arg400多点字就够了，能够充分展开的就不用模版堆字数了]

Fourthly, even if sales of office machine and office supplies of Valu-Mart increased[increase], the office-supply department of Valu-Mart will not necessarily become the most profitable component of the stores.[这段直攻结论，应该分为两个层次攻击：买多不等于盈利多；盈利多不等于盈利最多。因为这两层是跟结论最具利害关系的，所以我建议分成两段。你的1、2号攻击点可以合并成攻击跟survey相关，这样也可以避免你1号攻击的空泛] The profit depends on the cost and the revenue. Maybe the revenue of the office-supply department indeed increase by selling more goods, but they may pay more money as bonus to the employees, cost more to stock the goods, and spend more on management. Assuming the profit of the office-supply department has increased, we are not sure if it can become the most profitable department, for the arguer does provide any information about other department of Valu-Mart.

In conclusion, basing the conclusion on a doubtable survey and failing to establish several cause-effect relationships, the arguer can not persuade me to believe the conclusion he made.[末段最好提1、2条建议]