AGRUMENT147

wangchangxiaoUID: 2123968

The speaker claims that the decline of Whirlwind video games will reverse itself in the next few months, relying on a recent survey of video-game players. After carefully examination of the evidences presented, i find the claim specious for several grounds.
   
     Firstly, the company's advertising campaign aims at people 10 to 25 years old, and yet there has little evidence that respondents in the survey on which the advertising campaign rests are representative of the target consumer of the campaign. Maybe many of the video game players investigated are younger than 10 so that they will more likely be attracted by games with vivid graphics than players in other ages. The point is, the generalization about the advertising campaign should not be drawn from the survey whose respondents are different from the target demographic groups.

     Moreover, even if the interviewees from the survey are typical of people the advertising campaign directed at,  that is, they are interested in the video games featured with lifelike graphics, it does not, however, mean that they will buy such video games requiring up-to-date computers. Possibly, this sort of video-games are too prohibitive expensive for players to buy, considering the facts that enthusiastic of such games are people of 10 to 25 years old and they cannot afford such expensive games. So due to the financial duress, many of them would have to find other substitutions which have lower price. Obviously, this possibility would definitely undermine the effect of the advertising campaign and makes the author's assertion suspicious.

     Furthermore, even if the target video-game players can sustain the comparatively high price needed by such video-games, we can not come to the conclusion that they will choose Whirlwind. May be other companies, with the same products, have lower prices or/and other attractive fetures in their video-games, so that consumers would prefer theirs' products to Whirlwind's.

    Finally, Even if the advertising campaign proves to be a successful one, we can still not predict the dramatically increment in the sales of Whirlwind. Because there might exists other more important factors resulting the decline in the sales of Whirlwind over the past two years. For instance, May be the inefficiency of the managing departments serve the most to the abatement which cannot be reversed simply by promoting the advertising quality.

    In sum, the details about the survey are so vague that its effect is corresponding unreliable, and the author neglect other explanations for the abatement in sales, both of which render this argument logical vulnerable. In order to make this argument more convincing, we must know which element plays a most influential role in the decrement, if the advertising quality does amounts to the performance of the products, we should also know what kind of people like video-games featured with lifelike graphics and at the same time financially capable of affording them. At the same time, we must find out the information of competing products as well.

   

taroUID: 2286098

The speaker claims that the decline of Whirlwind video games will reverse itself in the next few months, relying on a recent survey of video-game players. After carefully examination of the evidences presented, i find the claim specious for several grounds.
   
Firstly, the company's advertising campaign aims at people 10 to 25 years old, and yet there has (was) little evidence that respondents in the survey on which the advertising campaign rests are representative of the target consumer of the campaign. Maybe many of the video game players investigated are younger than 10 so that they will (would) more likely be attracted by games with vivid graphics than players in other ages. The point is, the generalization about the advertising campaign should not be drawn from the survey whose respondents are different from the target demographic groups. (论证还可再深入一些)
     
Moreover, even if the interviewees from the survey are typical of (/) people the advertising campaign directed at,  that is, they are interested in the video games featured with lifelike graphics, it does not, however, mean that they will buy such video games requiring up-to-date computers. Possibly, this sort of video-games are too(/) prohibitive expensive for players to buy, considering the facts (只是可能的情况,不能用fact) that enthusiastic(s) of such games are people of (/)10 to 25 years old and they cannot afford such expensive games. So due to the financial duress, many of them would have to find other substitutions which have lower price. Obviously, this possibility would definitely undermine the effect of the advertising campaign and makes the author's assertion suspicious.

Furthermore, even if the target video-game players can sustain the comparatively high price needed by such video-games, we can not come to the conclusion that they will choose Whirlwind. May be (Maybe) other companies, with the same products, have lower prices or/and other attractive features in their video-games, so that consumers would prefer theirs' products to Whirlwind's.

Finally, Even if the advertising campaign proves to be a successful one, we can still not (still can not) predict the dramatically increment in the sales of Whirlwind (video games). Because there might exists (exist) other more important factors resulting the decline in the sales of Whirlwind over the past two years. For instance, May be the inefficiency of the managing departments serve the most to the abatement which cannot be reversed simply by promoting the advertising quality.

In sum, the details about the survey are so vague that its effect is corresponding unreliable, and the author neglect(s) other explanations for the abatement (很少这样用,建议换decrease )in sales, both of which render this argument logical vulnerable. In order to make this argument more convincing, we must know which element plays a most influential role in the decrement, if the advertising quality does amounts to the performance of the products, we should also know what kind of people like video-games featured with lifelike graphics and at the same time financially capable of affording them. At the same time, we must find out the information of competing products as well.

FYR
驳论的点很充足但不充分, 有蜻蜓点水的感觉,可再深入些
另: 结尾是否有过长? 若时间不够可适当缩减
   
cheers!

wang984UID: 2284383

言辞激烈请担待
感觉最大得问题
para3，4  price of video games延伸过多了，贵也是你的猜测，没有意义，题目中根本没有涉及

加油！