argument 147 cracking 小组大帖

jiaojiao529UID: 2268889

The author claims that the sales of whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this claim the author cited a survey in which asked video- game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. He or she also cited the evidence that whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10-25 years old. Careful examination of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the claim.

In evaluating the evidence of the survey, one must consider how the survey was conducted. If the questions were leading or if the survey relies on self reports, the results might be unreliable-people might just report with the expected answer. One must consider how broad the survey was. If the survey was limited to a few rich video-players, the results might be attributable to those particular players. Hence, the generalization draw might not apply to most people. In addition, even if the survey was broader, one must consider whether it was limited in certain ways. For example, were the survey limited to young people between 10 and 25 years old? Was the survey limited to some large city, where people have the ability to pay much money on video-game? Factors such as these could explain the survey results and could undermine the generalization of the survey results.

Even if one accepts the survey results, the argument remains questionable. This argument relies on the assumption that 10-25 group most likely to play video games, and for that they introduced several games with an extensive advertising campaign. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the conclusion. It is possible that this age group is not the most likely to play video games at all. Accordingly, the author cannot draw any firm conclusion about whirlwind video-games are like to dramatically increased in the next few months.

The author fails to consider other possible alternatives may influence the sales of video games. Such alternative may include that the game styles, game topic and whether the game is existing. Further more, it is highly possible that even people like these video-games, they do not have so much money to afford them. Or the game institutions, such like up-to date computers, are too expensive for these young people to purchase. In these cases, the sales of these video-games will not increase greatly as the author inspected.

In conclusion, to persuade me that the sales of whirlwind will dramatically increased the author must provide clear evidence that the video-games have certain consumers and the survey was reliability and representative.

sylvie0211UID: 2296270

argument 147 cracking 小组大帖
The author claims that the sales of whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this claim the author cited a survey in which asked video- game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. He or she太啰嗦了，继续author就好 also cited the evidence that whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10-25 years old. Careful examination应该用动词examine of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support toto不要比较好吧 the claim.

In evaluating the evidence of the survey, one must consider how the survey was conducted. If the questions were leading or if the survey relies on self reports, the results might be unreliable-people might just report with the expected answer. One must consider how broad the survey was这句表达不太好吧，考虑换个词表示样本范围比较好. If the survey was limited to a few rich video-players, the results might be attributable to those particular players. Hence, the generalization draw might not apply to most people. In addition, even if the survey was broader, one must consider whether it was limited in certain ways. For example, were the survey limited to young people between 10 and 25 years old? Was the survey limited to some large city, where people have the ability to pay much money on video-game? Factors such as these could explain the survey加’s results and could undermine the generalization of the survey results.

Even if one accepts the survey加’s results, the argument remains questionable. This argument relies on the assumption that 10-25要加years old，要不感觉指代不清 group most likely to play video games, and for that they introduced several games with an extensive advertising campaign. But the argument fails to provide sufficient evidence to support the conclusion. It is possible that this age group is not the most likely to play video games at all. Accordingly, the author cannot draw any firm conclusion about whirlwind video-games are like to dramatically increased in the next few months.

The author fails to consider other possible alternatives may influence the sales of video games. Such alternative may include that the game styles, game topic and whether the game is existing这句真是匪夷所思…楼主想说的是这个题材是不是现有的，还是这个游戏已经被别家发行了，W公司是盗版？. Further more, it is highly possible that even people like these video-games, they do not have so much money to afford them. Or the game institutions, such like up-to date computers, are too expensive for these young people to purchase. In these cases, the sales of these video-games will not increase greatly as the author inspected这块也没明白，楼主是想用expect么？.

In conclusion, to persuade me that the sales of whirlwind will dramatically increased the author must provide clear evidence that the video-games have certain consumers and the survey was reliability and representative.
个人感觉主体第一段，因为W公司是根据调查结果决定广告发布什么的，所以调查应该是公众的，你说If the questions were leading or if the survey relies on self reports,不太有说服力。
说实在的我现在也有点晕到底是survey’s results 还是survey results….
总体来说也找到了三个主要大问题，就是语言再精致一点就更好啦～

jiaojiao529UID: 2268889

The author fails to consider other possible alternatives may influence the sales of video games. Such alternative may include that the game styles, game topic and whether the game is existing这句真是匪夷所思…楼主想说的是这个题材是不是现有的，还是这个游戏已经被别家发行了，W公司是盗版？.是说影响游戏销量的 因素还有游戏的形式，主题等 Further more, it is highly possible that even people like these video-games, they do not have so much money to afford them. Or the game institutions, such like up-to date computers, are too expensive for these young people to purchase. In these cases, the sales of these video-games will not increase greatly as the author inspected这块也没明白，楼主是想用expect么？. 打错字了
我还觉得第一段不用大改，改也没什么意思。重要的是批得到位。 不过这篇我相信楼上写得很好了