Issue130(515words) 西门吹东风小组笨鱼笨鱼第1次作业

笨鱼笨鱼UID: 2289591

Issue130

How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. 现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎样去建设一个更好的社会。

Outline:

Thesis: Society development requires all its members to be with high-level socialization, and it is influenced by many other factors besides socialization. Fortunately, we have successfully raised generations of children to bring about a better society than before, regarding the development and progress of society.

B1: The trend of internationalization and cooperation is not only the force to facilitate the development of society, but also a sign to demand children to be with good socialization capacity so as to survive in the future.

B2: Besides the socialization ability, there are a variety of factors which have an important influence on the destiny of society, such as the intellectual innovation and scientific technology.

B3: Considering the development and progress of society, we have created a much better society in the near half century, which clearly indicates that we have learned how to raise children to bring about a better society.

Conclusion



Society is increasingly developing forward by the force of interaction of different nations, disciplines and industries, which requires all its members, including children, to be with high-level socialization. However, the socialization of children is not the only factor determining the destiny of society that is meanwhile influenced by many other factors. Fortunately, we have successfully raised generations of children to bring about a better society than before, regarding the development and progress of society.

The trend of internationalization and cooperation is not only the force to facilitate the development of society, but also a sign to demand children to be with good socialization capacity so as to survive in the future. Many achievements of today are the results of interdisciplinary and cross-nation cooperation, which no doubt will require children to be good at socialization to be fit for their future roles in the society. An international project, for instance, has come out a team with members from many countries who speak different languages and hold different political viewpoints. Good socialization skills would help team members find out the common points and respect the different ones among them so as to communicate with each other smoothly, which will greatly help realize the common project objective.

Besides the socialization ability, there are a variety of factors which have an important influence on the destiny of society, such as the intellectual innovation and scientific technology. Intellectual innovation is just like a catalyst that will greatly accelerate the development of society. A typical example is the President Roosevelt. His New Deal policy brought a series of social and economic reforms and directed the American economy out of the Great Depression successfully. It is also no wonder that the progress of scientific technology has brought so huge a progress to our lives and society. Before the appearance of Internet, how can we imagine that we could communicate with anybody in the any other part of world just by sitting before a computer which is connected to Internet.

Considering the development and progress of society, we have created a much better society in the near half century, which clearly indicates that we have learned how to raise children to bring about a better society. Till now, so much great progress has  been made in many fields of society, which derives from the efforts of people of every generation. Concerning the public health, inoculation has been introduced to prevent diseases. With regard to the market economy, production efficiency has been sharply improved with the help of computers. News and other information can be transmitted around the world within a matter of seconds with the development of the information technology. And banks in hundreds of different countries can almost instantaneously transfer money to almost any other bank in the world.

In conclusion, socialization skills, as well as many other crucial elements, such as intellectual innovation and scientific technology, all have a direct and great effect on the destiny of society. Luckily and happily, we have successfully owned a better society and could speed its development with the endeavor of interaction of all people.

Gogo学着聪明UID: 2286668

Issue130

How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. 现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎样去建设一个更好的社会。

Outline:

Thesis: Society development requires all its members to be with high-level socialization, and it is influenced by many other factors besides socialization. Fortunately, we have successfully raised generations of children to bring about a better society than before, regarding the development and progress of society.

B1: The trend of internationalization and cooperation is not only the force to facilitate the development of society, but also a sign to demand children to be with good socialization capacity so as to survive in the future.

B2: Besides the socialization ability, there are a variety of factors which have an important influence on the destiny of society, such as the intellectual innovation and scientific technology.

B3: Considering the development and progress of society, we have created a much better society in the near half century, which clearly indicates that we have learned how to raise children to bring about a better society.
（先容许我说点前言，我当时看到社会化这个词也十分迷茫，就查了很多资料，我觉得你似乎在这儿偷换了一个概念，development of society和desitiny of society,我想了很久，我觉得应该不等价吧，对此抱歉不能给你一个清晰的概念．但是我也确实看到很多网友是这么用的）
Conclusion



Society is increasingly developing forward by the force of interaction of different nations, disciplines and industries, which requires all its members, including children, to be with high-level socialization. However, the socialization of children is not the only factor determining the destiny （很高兴在这看到的是这个单词而不是提纲里面那个）of society that is meanwhile influenced by many other factors. Fortunately, we have successfully raised generations of children to bring about a better society than before, regarding the development and progress of society.

The trend of internationalization and cooperation is not only the force to facilitate the development of society, but also a sign to demand children to be with good socialization capacity so as to survive in the future. Many achievements of today are the results of interdisciplinary and cross-nation cooperation, which no doubt（undoubtly，可以用一个单词的尽量不要用词组，文章会痛快流畅一些） will require children to be good at socialization to be fit for their future roles in the society. An international project, for instance, has come out a team with members from many countries who speak different languages and hold different political viewpoints.（这种例子比较新颖，但感觉没有说完，把他具体一下会更好，比如ＸＸ组织由全世界不同的人组成有一个ＸＸ具体的目的，感觉会形象生动一点） Good socialization skills would help team members find out the common points and respect the different ones among them so as to communicate with each other smoothly, which will greatly help realize the common project objective.

Besides the socialization ability, there are a variety of factors which have an important influence on the destiny of society, such as the intellectual innovation and scientific technology. Intellectual innovation is just like a catalyst that will greatly accelerate the development of society. A typical example is the President Roosevelt. His New Deal policy brought a series of social and economic reforms and directed the American economy out of the Great Depression successfully. It is also no wonder that the progress of scientific technology has brought so huge a progress to our lives and society. Before the appearance of Internet, how can we imagine that we could communicate with anybody in the any other part of world just by sitting before a computer which is connected to Internet.

Considering the development and progress of society, we have created a much better society in the near half century, which clearly indicates that we have learned how to raise children to bring about a better society. Till now, so much great progress has  been made in many fields of society, which derives from the efforts of people （去掉，拖拉）of every generation. Concerning the public health, inoculation has been introduced to prevent diseases. With regard to the market economy, production efficiency has been sharply improved with the help of computers. News and other information can be transmitted around the world within a matter of seconds with the development of the information technology. And banks in hundreds of different countries can almost instantaneously transfer money to almost any other bank in the world. （我很喜欢，很有味道:loveliness: ）

In conclusion, socialization skills, as well as many other crucial elements, such as intellectual innovation and scientific technology, all have a direct and great effect on the destiny of society. Luckily and happily, we have successfully owned a better society and could speed its development with the endeavor of interaction of all people.
不知道你是否有注意到，我刚回去又大体看了一遍，后３段似乎一个children也没有提到，不管从例子还是在论述方面，似乎和你的提纲有违背，只是个人意见
重要的一点，我挺喜欢你的语言的，嘿嘿～

笨鱼笨鱼UID: 2289591

你的意见非常中肯，我又看了一遍，我的确是把“the destiny of society”和"the development of society"的概念给偷换了，使论证有点偏题了。

另外一个偏题的迹象，就是你指出的children的问题，我后面的论述不应该脱离这个问题，至少在结尾段里应该指出来。

这是我的两个致命伤，谢谢你的指教！:handshake