Issue141 想了黄婆的例子,倒了

dxh1201982UID：2254956

TOPIC: ISSUE141 - "Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."
WORDS: 663          TIME: 40:00          DATE: 2007-3-24

In an era marked by greatly advanced science and technology, participants of business field gradually are aware of the tendency that they confront competitions every day. There appears certain powerful product of the same field, certain eminent competitors with more comprehensive knowledge, etc. There is no doubt that in order that all the participating members would survive and thrive, their personal individuality is of so great importance. Meanwhile, no one can deny the fact that conformity sounds to be more indispensable to guarantee their personal economic success.

First and foremost, in nowadays competitive world, essential assessment of individuality is consistently regarded as more and more necessary. Without the unique individuality, how can we imagine the dull market be fraught with monotonous products? Certainly unimaginable at the mere mention of(我知道错,但是就想把at the mere mention给留着,嘿). A famous fable in Ancient Chinese history, that the shrewd business woman grandma Huang, managed to sell all her watermelon in the summer. There were numerous businessmen and large amounts of melons there, and doubtlessly there aroused certain question that what was her strategy? Simple! Due to her hard and careful daily irrigation and sterilization, her watermelon was much sweeter and delicious than others'. And obviously the sweetness is the remarkable individuality of her melons while the other melons can not offer such a quality. Individuality of such a simple quality could  promise the owner so much treasures, not to mention that in today's more brutal and competitive world. Without it, competitors are bound to stumble in the market.

While it is true that one of the means to guarantee success is individuality, in contrast, for personal economic activity is included in the broader financial environment, a much more concern, conformity, should be taken into account. To students who are familiar with the story of business woman Huang, they can promptly point out that actually she lied to boost her product in order to sell all her melons. Undoubtedly, when the next summer came, guests who had once cheated by Huang, would never buy her melons and simultaneously  would admonish others to avoid to do a transaction with her. The useful individuality seems to lose its function, but in fact, it was Huang who did not comply with certain policies pertaining to the economic activities. During the economic activities, every rational member would rather follow regulations no matter they are demanded by the government or by the sense of conscience. It is widely acknowledged that during the purchasing process, once a businessman violates the market’s criteria, he or she would be doomed to be eliminated from the market sooner or later. In addition, due to more sophisticated financial atmosphere, single businessman would not afford to lead his or her company on their own. They would employ considerable amounts of employees. Therefore, there is no denying that the nice and harmony relationship between the boss and the employees also plays vital roles for achieving the business future prosperity. Once the boss is bereft of respect in the company, besides a more competitive condition to put up with, he or she would unquestionably be beset by such a dilemma that all their employees betrayed them, which would inevitably end their economic success.

Therefore, based on the two paragraphs discussed above, it is apparent to conclude that both individuality and conformity are important and meaningful. Moreover, it is more helpful to realize that individuality and conformity does not conflict with each other, contrarily, they can work together wonderfully and smoothly. Turn back to the example of Huang, as long as she knows the importance of obeying to the principles of a healthy market, she would be prone to exert herself to plant her melon more carefully, and communicates with her once competitors to share the experience of how to plant sweeter melons. Eventually, all the former competitors would be guaranteed their overall success of their business.

To sum up, as far as the individuality and conformity are concerned in today's competitive world, any wise and preeminent businessman would be eager to utilize both of these qualities and will look forward to their future prosperity confidently.



多谢改文,有了例子不知怎么往论点上证,逻辑还没开窍,总觉得考虑的比较肤浅
你下面贴的图片很是帅,老看着,以为你就是那样的,呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 dxh1201982 于 2007-3-25 00:14 编辑 ]

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dxh1201982UID：2254956

iq28UID：2152875

先说审题的问题
长久就看到有人在争论这道题目到底是
单干 v.s. 合作
还是
个性 v.s. 共性

我个人倾向于前一种,并且认为后一种属于偏题
recognize the benefits of individuality
personal economic success requires conformity
按第二种理解翻译过来,承认个性的利益,个人经济成功需要共性.明显觉得不太通顺,有悖常识.
承认个人的利益这个理解显然没问题,
individuality一个常用意思就是个人
对于conformity
刚才又去查了一下韦氏
1: correspondence in form, manager, or character
2: an act or instance of conforming
3: action in accordance with some specified standard or authority
理解成遵从权威规则,引申为合作,之于引申为共性,个人认为完全没有问题.
理解为合作是引申了conformity的意思的过程,理解为共性是引申了conformity的结果.



In an era marked by greatly advanced science and technology, participants of business field gradually are aware of the tendency that they confront competitions every day. (这句话对于主题有用么?从这句看不出你要支持哪个方面) There appears certain powerful product of the same field, certain eminent competitors with more comprehensive knowledge, etc. There is no doubt that in order that all the participating members would survive and thrive, their personal individuality is of so great importance. Meanwhile, no one can deny the fact that conformity sounds to be more indispensable to guarantee their personal economic success. (给出平衡观念.段首两句话太罗唆.)

First and foremost, in nowadays competitive world,(拗口,换次序) essential assessment (不明白非要加个assessment干什么) of individuality is consistently regarded as more and more necessary. Without the unique individuality, how can we imagine the dull market be fraught with monotonous products? (如果没有独特的特性,我们该怎么想象愚蠢的市场会对大量的产品不满.实在没看懂你要说什么) Certainly unimaginable at the mere mention of(我知道错,但是就想把at the mere mention给留着,嘿). (留着我还是看不懂...) A famous fable in Ancient Chinese history, that the shrewd business woman grandma Huang, managed to sell all her watermelon in the summer. There were numerous businessmen and large amounts of melons there, and doubtlessly there aroused certain question that what was her strategy? Simple! Due to her hard and careful daily irrigation and sterilization, her watermelon was much sweeter and delicious (后一个没有写成比较级) than others'. And obviously the sweetness is the remarkable individuality of her melons while the other melons can not offer such a quality. (例子极其失败.首先老美根本不知道黄婆是谁,你要阐释清楚得花掉巨大的篇幅;其次认为'甜'是特质这一点极其荒谬.只能说黄婆的西瓜比别人的甜,程度差别,这一点居然归结到了类型的差别,不能接受.黄婆的瓜是甜的,别人的瓜都是没有味道的?大家都是甜,只能说黄婆的更甜.同样都拥有甜这个属性.再次重申,只是程度差别.) Individuality of such a simple quality could  promise the owner so much treasures, not to mention that in today's more brutal and competitive world. Without it, competitors are bound to stumble in the market. (你想说产品必须要有特性才能被市场认同.不过首先段首部分论证就晦涩不清,后面的例子也只能说明质量更好的产品会获胜.和特性无关.)

While it is true that one of the means to guarantee success is individuality, in contrast, for personal economic activity is included in the broader financial environment, a much more concern, conformity, should be taken into account. (漂亮的ts,提出conformity) To students who are familiar with the story of business woman Huang, they can promptly point out that actually she lied to boost her product in order to sell all her melons. (你觉得ets的阅卷官有可能读懂么?) Undoubtedly, when the next summer came, guests who had once cheated by Huang, would never buy her melons and simultaneously would admonish others to avoid to do a transaction with her. (似乎在讲诚信经商的问题) The useful individuality seems to lose its function, but in fact, it was Huang who did not comply with certain policies pertaining to the economic activities. (明白了.你把conformity直接理解成为遵循规章的意思.细想觉得也可行.) During the economic activities, every rational member would rather follow regulations no matter they are demanded by the government or by the sense of conscience. It is widely acknowledged that during the purchasing process, once a businessman violates the market’s criteria, he or she would be doomed to be eliminated from the market sooner or later. (前面都在讲遵守规章,in addition后面想讲讲合作.把conformity两个意思都写了.看上去反而觉得这一段非常乱) In addition, due to more sophisticated financial atmosphere, single businessman would not afford to lead his or her company on their own. They would employ considerable amounts of employees. Therefore, there is no denying that the nice and harmony relationship between the boss and the employees also plays vital roles for achieving the business future prosperity. Once the boss is bereft of respect in the company, besides a more competitive condition to put up with, he or she would unquestionably be beset by such a dilemma that all their employees betrayed them, which would inevitably end their economic success. (整个在讲老板要跟雇员搞好关系.conformity无论怎么理解也跟这个无关啊.)

Therefore, based on the two paragraphs discussed above, it is apparent to conclude that both individuality and conformity are important and meaningful. Moreover, it is more helpful to realize that individuality and conformity does not conflict with each other, contrarily, they can work together wonderfully and smoothly. Turn back to the example of Huang, (同上,老美看不懂) as long as she knows the importance of obeying to the principles of a healthy market, (到这里对于conformity的定义又变成了遵守健康市场的原则.) she would be prone to exert herself to plant her melon more carefully, and communicates with her once competitors to share the experience of how to plant sweeter melons. Eventually, all the former competitors would be guaranteed their overall success of their business.

To sum up, as far as the individuality and conformity are concerned in today's competitive world, any wise and preeminent businessman would be eager to utilize both of these qualities and will look forward to their future prosperity confidently.


看了一半
越看越晕
等会儿再来看
如果还是晕就先睡一觉再看


lz的语言功底很好
不过觉得这篇文章可能要3-了
凌乱
很可惜




看完了
觉得要3-了
字数是很多
语言也不错
不过还是把功夫多下在思路上面吧
写的清楚一点
觉得你对conformity的理解非常混乱
几种观念糅杂在一起
后面完全就不知道你想说什么了

这篇文章死在了conformity上面

批得比较狠
见谅

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-3-25 03:56 编辑 ]

dxh1201982UID：2254956

The more developed the world, the more competitive it is. Each day there appears certain powerful products in the same field, certain eminent rivalries with more comprehensive knowledge, and so on. There is no doubt that in order that all these participating members would survive and thrive, their individual benefits must be greatly guaranteed. Meanwhile, no one can deny the fact that conformity becomes more indispensable to promise their personal economic success.

First and foremost, in today’s competitive world, the benefits of individuality gradually is of great importance for it is the basic goal everyone pursues in this world. They work to live and compete to succeed, treating the final individual personal success as the final aim. A famous fable in Ancient Chinese history, that a shrewd business woman grandma Huang, managed to sell all her watermelons by boasting. In the summer, so much peasants sold their melons and the market was fraught with competitions. Thereby, certain wonder aroused on what was the strategy utilized by Huang? Simple, she exerted herself to boast her own melons and many guests were greatly impressed by her skills. It is of great possibility that she was competent to persuade others who at first did not mean to do business with her, however, eventually they were influenced by her eloquence. The benefits of individuality was warranted by her individual alluring power. Therefore, personal success is esteemed by everyone who spares no efforts to discover and utilize their abilities respectively.

While it is true that one of the means to guarantee success is fully competing themselves with others; in contrast, for personal economic activity is included in a broader financial environment, a much more indispensable concern, conformity, should be taken into account. For any single man, he is not alone, he has six billion companions at the same time. In addition, inside the business world, the power of a single figure turns out to be so trivial and feeble. Turn back to the example of shrewd Huang again, in which just moments later, the business activities were regulated by the government, and all those hard-working peasants underwent great financial loss. As for grandma Huang did her business basely, other people all were reluctant to help her; at last, Huang’s business had only prospered in a year and failed afterward. Therefore, it is obvious that no matter how much attention is concentrated on personal business, businessman should take into consideration that a harmony relationship between his competitors is more meaningful. It is widely acknowledged that once wonderful atmosphere exists inside the mass, they would make every impossibility possible.

Therefore, based on the two paragraphs discussed above, it is apparent to conclude that both individuality and conformity are important and meaningful. Moreover, it is more helpful to realize that individuality and conformity does not conflict with each other, contrarily, they can work together wonderfully and smoothly. Take a look at today’s world, there is no doubt that each one exert themselves to work harder and more carefully to achieve their personal success; on the other hand, if they themselves can lend help and be helped on their roads, undoubtedly, personal and overall community success are bound to be vouched.

To sum up, as far as the individuality and conformity are deeply concerned in today's competitive world, any wise and preeminent businessman would be eager to utilize both of these means and confidently look forward to their future prosperity.


iq批的很好，哪有狠,倒是希望你再狠点，一下子就点醒我了，
加油,
我说个人利益单干的时候，觉得个人的独特魅力也不能忽略;合作倒是不用涉及其他，好象这次死在individuality上了.昏哪.......
看了我们小组一组员的文章，她是写个性和共性;个性,自己或者商品的独特魅力,共性，好象用的是conform to中的遵守意思，看了觉得也可以.   
和斑斑说的那样,认为是单干和合作，我觉得合作是没问题，在单干的时候难免想扯自己商品的独特之处, 死在individuality解释混乱上了，
你都会回贴的,麻烦再写一点你解题时的思路了，
我真是笨哪,还不开窍,,,,,,,

[ 本帖最后由 dxh1201982 于 2007-3-27 08:27 编辑 ]