argument234 4.1

zhizi522UID：2307341

TOPIC: ARGUMENT234 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."
DATE: 2007-4-1

In this argument, the author concludes that people who want to live longer and healthier should move to small communities. However, careful examination of the evidence provided by the author reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim.

To begin with, the author provides no evidence that people in Leeville have better health than that of Mason City. First, the mere fact that fewer report of days for sick in Leeville does not indicate that the residents in Leeville are healthier. As we know that situation in a report is always far from the reality. It is entirely possible that the inhabitants in Leeville suffer more from diseases, but as they will prefer to cover the fact most of the time, the report seems to be better than that of the Mason City. If this is the case, the report about situation of the two regions is meaningless. Besides, though the physicians in Leeville are less than Mason City, the health condition of these two places is uncertain. The ownership of physicians cannot necessarily represent the health condition.  A possibility is that the one physician in Leeville treats more patients than the patients of the physicians in Mason City together. Thus, the author's conclusion is open to doubt.

Even if the people in Leeville are generally much healthier than residents of Mason City, the claim of the author that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity is open to doubt. The author neglects other possible alternatives that could have attributed to the situation. These alternatives may include that the inhabitants in Leeville lead a much healthier life. Perhaps they do much more sports every day and/or eat more fruit and vegetable which are conducive to health. Thus it is the nature for them to be healthier and live a longer time. In addition, the author also fails to consider the climate and environment of the two places. Perhaps the weather in Leeville is wilder and changes little during the year; also the environment is better protected and thus makes it a region to live healthier. Without ruling out these alternatives, the author cannot simply draw out a conclusion.

Granted that the foregoing assumes are both substantiated, the conclusion of the author is still unwarranted. The relaxed way of life in Leeville may not suit to everyone. It is likely that one will get upset with hours and hours passing but doing nothing. In this case, this style of life, which is beneficial to the health of others, will instead determine the health of him/her. Thereby, persons should understand the situation of their own condition before they follow the author's suggestion. And this proves that the conclusion of the author is groundless.

In summary, the reasoning of the author lack sufficient evidence and comprehensive consideration as discussed above.

oceanusUID：2283238

In this argument, the author concludes that people who want to live longer and healthier should move to small communities. However, careful examination of the evidence provided by the author reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim.

To begin with, the author provides no evidence that people in Leeville have better health than that of Mason City. First, the mere fact that fewer report of days for sick in Leeville does not indicate that the residents in Leeville are healthier. As we know that situation in a report is always far from the reality. It is entirely possible that the inhabitants in Leeville suffer more from diseases, but as they will prefer to cover the fact most of the time, the report seems to be better than that of the Mason City. If this is the case, the report about situation of the two regions is meaningless. Besides, though the physicians in Leeville are less than Mason City, the health condition of these two places is uncertain. The ownership of physicians cannot necessarily represent the health condition.  A possibility is that the one physician in Leeville treats more patients than the patients of the physicians in Mason City together. Thus, the author's conclusion is open to doubt.找的点很正确，但不够详细，建议可以把这几点分段来说。

Even if the people in Leeville are generally much healthier than residents of Mason City, the claim of the author that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity is open to doubt. The author neglects other possible alternatives that could have attributed to the situation. These alternatives may include that the inhabitants in Leeville lead a much healthier life. Perhaps they do much more sports every day and/or eat more fruit and vegetable which are conducive to health. Thus it is the nature for them to be healthier and live a longer time. In addition, the author also fails to consider the climate and environment of the two places. Perhaps the weather in Leeville is wilder and changes little during the year; also the environment is better protected and thus makes it a region to live healthier. Without ruling out these alternatives, the author cannot simply draw out a conclusion.这一段论述的很好。

Granted that the foregoing assumes are both substantiated, the conclusion of the author is still unwarranted. The relaxed way of life in Leeville may not suit to everyone. It is likely that one will get upset with hours and hours passing but doing nothing. In this case, this style of life, which is beneficial to the health of others, will instead determine the health of him/her. Thereby, persons should understand the situation of their own condition before they follow the author's suggestion. And this proves that the conclusion of the author is groundless.感觉再加一段总结段吧

找的点很对，思路很清晰，文章逻辑也很好，但是文章结构还可以改进。

cocoon_mmUID：2259908

TOPIC: ARGUMENT234 - The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."
DATE: 2007-4-1

In this argument, the author concludes that people who want to live longer and healthier should move to small communities. However, careful examination of the evidence provided by the author reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim.

To begin with, the author provides no evidence that people in Leeville have better health than that of Mason City. First, the mere fact that fewer report of days for sick in Leeville does not indicate that the residents in Leeville are healthier. As we know that situation in a report is always far from the reality你也太绝对了always都用上了 而且跟城市大小也没关系啊 人家都可以攻击你了. It is entirely possible that the inhabitants in Leeville suffer more from diseases, but as they will prefer to cover the fact most of the time, the report seems to be better than that of the Mason City. If this is the case, the report about situation of the two regions is meaningless. Besides, though the physicians in Leeville are less than Mason City, the health condition of these two places is uncertain. The ownership of physicians cannot necessarily represent the health condition.  A possibility is that the one physician in Leeville treats more patients than the patients of the physicians in Mason City together. 你这个又说明了什么呢 Thus, the author's conclusion is open to doubt. 这一段写得不是很strong 关于report不是很站得住脚

Even if the people in Leeville are generally much healthier than residents of Mason City, the claim of the author that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity is open to doubt. The author neglects other possible alternatives that could have attributed to the situation. These alternatives may include that the inhabitants in Leeville lead a much healthier life. Perhaps they do much more sports every day and/or eat more fruit and vegetable which are conducive to health. Thus it is the nature for them to be healthier and live a longer time. In addition, the author also fails to consider the climate and environment of the two places. Perhaps the weather in Leeville is wilder and changes little during the year; also the environment is better protected and thus makes it a region to live healthier. Without ruling out these alternatives, the author cannot simply draw out a conclusion.

Granted that the foregoing assumes are both substantiated, the conclusion of the author is still unwarranted. The relaxed way of life in Leeville may not suit to everyone. It is likely that one will get upset with hours and hours passing but doing nothing. In this case, this style of life, which is beneficial to the health of others（？？？什么意思）, will instead determine the health of him/her. Thereby, persons should understand the situation of their own condition before they follow the author's suggestion. And this proves that the conclusion of the author is groundless.

In summary, the reasoning of the author lack sufficient evidence and comprehensive consideration as discussed above.

这个题从conclusion来看 一是说更健康 二是说更长寿 而且分别对应evidence 呵呵 分开攻击会更清楚 你的递进作用基本没达到

zhizi522UID：2307341

恩，整个攻击的点安排的好像确实不太好，基本没讨论长寿
谢谢两位的修改
我再改改:handshake