Argument147【07-10G Superstar大帖】第一次作业 by Huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

argument147 [07-10G superstar]第一次作业by Huaxinluobo


字数：  482   time：

       In this argument the speaker claims that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in    the next few months. To support this view, the author gives the result of a survey showing that video-game players prefer games with lifelike graphics. In addition, the author points out the fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. However, this argumentation suffers from several critical flaws.
        
      Firstly , the result of the survey the author mentioned is not enough to convince us that lifelike graphics are the most important feature in video games. The speaker don’t give out the number of surveyors or their age , income , career . Lacking these dates , the survey can not be valid. Perhaps they enjoy lifelike graphics , but most players like other features. In this case , the conclusion that the most wanted feature is lifelike graphics is unconvincing. Moreover, the survey didn’t shows that people between 10 to 25 like lifelike graphics . Maybe these people like games about wars and sports but not lifelike graphics. If it is the case, then an extensive advertising campaign is unjustifiable. Unless more information about the survey is given, I am not convinced with that it is profitable to sale lifelike graphics games to people between 10 to 25.
      
       Secondly , even if it is right the case that people between 10 to 25 like the feature of lifelike graphics , the editorial fails to consider whether the up-to-date computers are available to the average players because they usually cost a lot to get and young people usually do not have much money. So it is likely that most young players can not afford the new and expensive computers, if so, it is absolutely not profitable for companies including Whirlwind to sale these games.
      
      Thirdly , even if the games featured by lifelike graphic have great market , it is possible that Whirlwin d can not  thrive in competition. By concerning on Whirlwind ,the editorial ignores other companies in the same field . Maybe other companies also have or about to introduce similar games , or maybe their products take advantages both in lifelike graphics and some other aspects. Moreover , maybe their advertisement  are more attractive than those of Whirlwind. In these cases hardly can Whirlwind enjoy satisfying sale. Without enough information about competitors , the claim that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase rapidly.
      
        So, the reasoning in this argument can’t lead us to the ultimate conclusion presented in it. The credibility of the survey should be enhanced and other factors which will hamper the increase of sales of Whirlwind should be considered before the author can convince us that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

[ 本帖最后由 huaxinluobo 于 2007-5-5 11:32 编辑 ]

spring(丫丫)UID: 2293000

In this argument the speaker claims that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in    the next few months. To support this view, the author gives the result of a survey showing that video-game players prefer games with lifelike graphics. In addition, the author points out the fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old. However, this argumentation suffers from several critical flaws.
        
      Firstly , the result of the survey the author mentioned is not enough to convince us that lifelike graphics are the most important feature in video games. The speaker don’t give out the number of surveyors (这个词用的有点问题，应该是respondents吧）or their age (ages), income , career . Lacking these dates , the survey can not be valid. Perhaps they enjoy lifelike graphics , but most players like other features. In this case , the conclusion that the most wanted feature is lifelike graphics is unconvincing. Moreover, the survey didn’t shows (show) that people between 10 to 25 like lifelike graphics . Maybe these people like games about wars and sports but not lifelike graphics. If it is the case, then an extensive advertising campaign is unjustifiable. Unless more information about the survey is given, I am not convinced with (删去with) that it is profitable to sale lifelike graphics games to people between 10 to 25.
      
       Secondly , even if it is right the case that people between 10 to 25 like the feature of lifelike graphics , the editorial fails to consider whether the up-to-date computers are available to the average players because they usually cost a lot to get and young people usually do not have much money. So it is likely that most young players can not afford the new and expensive computers, if so, it is absolutely not profitable for companies including Whirlwind to sale these games.
      
      Thirdly , even if the games featured by lifelike graphic have great market , it is possible that Whirlwin d can not  thrive in competition. By concerning on Whirlwind ,the editorial ignores other companies in the same field . Maybe other companies also have or about to introduce （have introduced or are about to introduce）similar games , or maybe their products take advantages both in lifelike graphics and some other aspects. Moreover , maybe their advertisements  are more attractive than those of Whirlwind. In these cases hardly can Whirlwind enjoy satisfying sales. Without enough information about competitors , the claim that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase rapidly.(这句话没有写完啊)
      
        So, the reasoning in this argument can’t lead us to the ultimate conclusion presented in it. The credibility of the survey should be enhanced and other factors which will hamper the increase of sales of Whirlwind should be considered before the author can convince us that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.


对于开头复述题目,很多人是持反对意见的,可以看看IMONG斑竹的帖子
我也是觉得如果后面能展开的内容很多的话,尽量不要复述题目,以免浪费时间.
其他方面写的不错,句式也多样

[ 本帖最后由 spring(丫丫) 于 2007-5-7 23:17 编辑 ]