作文修改(续1)

x6xUID: 2180130

Independent Writting
The ability to cooperate well with others is more important today than in the past,  agree or disagree?
（再你们3月4日机经上找的）

There is a growing worldwide awearness that Rome was not built by one person. Nowadays With the fierce competetion in sports, scholl, business, political stage and all
other areas, the ability to cooperate well with others is more and more significant than in the past. So I agree with what is stated in the question. It's no easy job to furnish every reasons why cooperation is so important today, but, on the whole, three factors stand out from other, including making people think more carefully, making complicated job comleted easily and giving people encouragement.

To begin with, on no account can one thinks over everything carefully. "Three soldiers thinks as a general" That is how one of the great writer Hugo remarked once. People usually feel confused to find a solution for a problem, however, if they learn to cooperate with others, the problem will soon be solved. Through discussing, all possible sollutions will be analyzed. Finally, those soidiers may solve a problem one general can't do.

In addition, jobs today are so complicated that it needs different people to do different work. As a result, people should cooperate to avoid mistakes. For example, most software, such as MS Windows, MSN and OICQ, and websites, like Yahoo!, MSN.com, and Google, all are made not by a person or a few people. In fact, even more than 5000 people contributes to the Windows Vista. Since the amount of the work is so huge, different people should take different responsibilities. But if I write codes of a component which don't offer interfaces to yours, how can these components join together. Consequently, we must cooperate together through discussion, meeting and adjusting the plans.

Last but not least, cooperation can also mean muture understanding and encouragement. As a illustration, I'm the goalkeeper of my school's soccer team. In the first match of state's league match not long ago, I made many mistakes on the first half. In the half-match braek, facing the score 0:3, I was so frustrated that even son't dare to go togother with other teammates. However, the dean and some other teammates came near me. Surprisingly, istead of asking me how to do in the second half, they first criticised tehemselves and then encouraged me to show my common condition. Do you know what happened then? In the other half I showed perfextly and we finally win the match with the score 4:3!

Juging from the reasons presented above, we can safely conclude that the ability to cooperate well with others is more and more important than in the past.

昨晚交了一篇关于Telecommuting的文章
（你们的修改我刚看到 我会再修改的 ）
今天温习了一下模板句型 就写了这篇 再请帮修改
（打字不够快 用惯了笔记本键盘 最近找到大键盘 不习惯 惨！）

x6xUID: 2180130

It's hard for me to think some supperting ideas for this topic in a short time,
so I ask you all if there are some common method to find supporting ideas?

lintelleUID: 2297267

扩展思路的方法我昨天给你讲过了。李笑来比较重视版权，网上下载他的东西估计有点麻烦。赶快去买吧，盗版的都可以。做什么都要抓紧时间，你的时间也不多了。
我做完作业帮你看这篇。应该明天中午就能看到修改了。加油吧。

moondy74178945UID: 2231844

It is a tough part to everyone~
There`s some methods, include thinking about ur neighborhood/community, personality, social phenomenon, fashion topic.
But the question ask u use specific reason, therefore common point hardly earn a good score for ur essay.
:)

lintelleUID: 2297267

There is a growing worldwide awearness that Rome was not built by one person. （先声夺人啊~这里典故引用得很棒。）Nowadays With the fierce competetion in sports, scholl, business, political stage and all
other areas, the ability to cooperate well with others is more and more significant than in the past. So（不需要so） I agree with what is stated in the question. It's no easy job to furnish every reasons why cooperation is so important today, but, on the whole, three factors stand out from other, including making people think more carefully,（这里有点歧义了。合作不能让个人思维更加谨慎，但能让合作的成果出自谨慎的思维。你的表达让人感觉一合作大家就都成超人了） making complicated job comleted easily and giving people encouragement.

To begin with, on no account （短语误用。如果自己不是很确定的短语、单词，就不要用了。表意清楚最重要）can one thinks over everything carefully. "Three soldiers thinks as a general" That is how one of the great（这里用最高级比较好。） writer Hugo remarked once. People usually feel confused to find （while seeking） a solution for a problem, however, if they learn to cooperate with others, the problem will soon be solved. Through discussing, all possible sollutions will be analyzed. Finally, those soidiers may solve a problem one general can't do.

In addition, jobs today are so complicated that it needs different people to do different work. As a result, people should cooperate to avoid mistakes. For example, most software, such as MS Windows, MSN and OICQ, and websites, like Yahoo!, MSN.com, and Google, all are made not by a person or （nor）a few people. In fact, even (不需要)more than 5000 people contributes （people是复数名词。另外再加上their efforts比较好）to the Windows Vista. Since the amount of the work is so huge, different people should take different responsibilities. But if I write codes of a component which don't offer interfaces to yours, how can these components join together. Consequently, we must cooperate together through discussion, meeting and adjusting the plans.

Last but not least, cooperation can also mean muture understanding and encouragement. As a illustration, I'm the goalkeeper of my school's soccer team. In the first match of state's league match not long ago, I made many mistakes on the first half. In the half-match braek, facing the score 0:3, I was so frustrated that even son't （didn't even）dare to go togother with other teammates. However, the dean and some other teammates came near me. Surprisingly, istead of asking me how to do in the second half, (句义不连贯)they first criticised tehemselves and then encouraged me to show my common condition. Do you know what happened then? In the other half I showed perfextly and we finally win the match with the score 4:3!

Juging from the reasons presented above, we can safely conclude that the ability to cooperate well with others is more and more important than in the past.（尾段远远没有首段那么出彩。好作文的尾段也是很漂亮的，赶紧去看高分作文，长长语感。）

x6xUID: 2180130

高分作文 写到 多少词 最合适

wj78xxUID: 2241966

"There is a growing worldwide awearness that Rome was not built by one person. （先声夺人啊~这里典故引用得很棒。）"
Rome was not built in a day
lintelle is making such a fun.
revised version:
it is commonly acknowledged that Rome was not built in a day.
i intend to disagree,not to take revenge. i am wrong that i have not topped my post.thank you for reminding me.nevertheless, i should single out this for discussion.

[ 本帖最后由 lintelle 于 2007-5-16 09:36 编辑 ]