argument177 【07-10G superstar大帖】第三次作业 by xifenglie200

xifenglie200UID: 2331174

Argument 177
In this argument ,the argurer conclude that Membership in Oak City’s Civic club should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak city. To support the the conclution, the arguer points that people who do not live in Oak cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city even he or she work here. In addition,the arguer reasons that only residents pay city tax and therefore they understand how the money should be spent. What is more, the arguer also suppose such policies won’t be disappoint many of the nonresidents employed, because the neighbouring city ‘s club executed an open policy with only 25 nonresidents joined.Each argumentation suffers from critical fallacies.
Firstly, although some people working in Oak live outside the city, they spend most of one day’s time here, poured their sweat and devote their wit to the development of the city,they undergo and witness the city’s growth in themselves, without whom hardly could our city br so beautiful today. How can we say the cannot understand the business and politics of our city?
Secondly, rightly,only the residents pay tax. But it do not mean that the payer will know how the money should be spent. The two do not have nessisary business with each other. The club is a place in which wide proposition are concentrated to make decision,so it needs insights as wide as possible. Morever, some work is being done by people who are not residents.. If they didn’t take part in the decision-making, no man would know the practical situation and the money will not be spent efficiently.
Thirdly, the argur mentioned the situation in neighbouring city,but he doesn’t provide the total number of the menbership and such kind man working at that city. We should not look at the face number, but also the proportion they occupied and any other related information such as the position and career they engage and the like.
In conclution, the argur’s reasons for not let external workers join the club can’t be established. In order to make the club more efficient, to let the policies be more reasonable ,to change our city more developed, It is nessasary to involve more people who work in our city regardless whether they live here.

spring(丫丫)UID: 2293000

In this argument ,the argurer [arguer] conclude [注意单复数concludes]that Membership in Oak City’s Civic club should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak city. To support the the [the删去] conclution, the arguer points that people who do not live in Oak cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city even [即使 even if] he or she work [works]here [there]. In addition,the arguer reasons that only residents pay city tax and therefore they understand how the money should be spent. What is more, the arguer also suppose [supposes] such policies won’t be [去掉be, disappoint 使…失望] disappoint many of the nonresidents employed, because the neighbouring city ‘s club executed an open policy with only 25 nonresidents joined.Each argumentation suffers from critical fallacies.
Firstly, although some people working in Oak live outside the city, they spend most of one day’s time here [there] , poured their sweat and devote their wit to the development of the city,they undergo and witness the city’s growth in themselves, without whom hardly could our [the] city br [be吧] so beautiful today. How can we [the arguer] say the [they] cannot understand the business and politics of our [Oak] city? [不明白为什么你要用Oak city居民的口气来写, 以旁观者什么写不是更好吗?]
[从逻辑上讲的话，论证的不够充分。在OAK城工作而不是OAK居民的人虽然为建设城市作出了贡献，但是你还是没有讲这跟他们能真正理解该城政治，经济，知道怎样促进城市发展有关系。毕竟大城市中的民工的话也是象你上面说的情况，但是由于受教育程度等因素的限制，他们可能提不出什么有用的意见和建议]
Secondly, rightly,only the residents pay tax. But it do [does] not mean that the payer will know how the money should be spent. The two do not have nessisary [necessary] business [我觉得用relationship 更好一点]with each other. The club is a place in which wide proposition [要加s, 复数] are concentrated to make decision,so it needs insights as wide as possible. （Morever, some work is being done by people who are not residents.. If they didn’t take part in the decision-making, no man would know the practical situation and the money will not be spent efficiently.）[同样地，这部分论证不充分，难道民工不参加讨论，工地建设就不能进行下去了吗？]
Thirdly, the argur [arguer] mentioned the situation in neighbouring city,but he doesn’t provide the total number of the menbership and （such kind man working at that city. [and 后面半句话不通顺] We should not look at the face number, but also the proportion they occupied and any other related information such as the position and career they engage and the like.
In conclution [conclusion] , the argur’s [arguer’s] reasons for [not let external workers join the club] [我觉得这个地方有点别扭, 你看用restricted membership行不行]can’t be established. In order to make the club more efficient, to let the policies be more reasonable ,to change our [Oak] city more developed, It [it] is nessasary [necessary] to involve more people who work in our [the] city regardless whether they live here [there].
还有一个问题就是关于标点符号，是单词后面直接跟标点，然后再空格写下一个单词，你正好反了。

[ 本帖最后由 spring(丫丫) 于 2007-6-15 19:43 编辑 ]