ISSUE154 【0710G 五一互助小组】第二次作业

alps22UID: 2338541

ISSUE154. "Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

有保留的赞成。
提纲：
1.尽管学校教育占主导地位，但其他二者扮演了不同的角色。
2.父母是孩子的第一个老师，知道孩子的特殊需求，有很好的辅助作用，举例：爱因斯坦。
3．人具有社会性，社会引导孩子成长的方向，通过交流，孩子融入到社会中，才能获得社交能力。
4．反面论证，由于缺乏系统知识，父母教育无法替代学校的作用；由于社会方向的引导有好有坏，也无法替代学校。
5．总结

The emphasis on the significance of education is always not overshadowed since it does not only let human beings know tremendously about the laws and principles of the society and the nature, but also guarantees a nation to maintain its powerful competition and assures the society as a whole to attain achievements and progress. Consequently, how to make our education utmost effective becomes an everlasting topic. The statement above asserts that besides professional educators, parents and communities should be involved to pursue excellent education. I generally agree with the claim.

Look back on our history, at any country, and at any time, education means not only single receiving the authority of professional educators in school. As the speaker points out, the way of teaching has three essential parts. Compared with school learning, parents and communities, either plays a indispensable role and the significance should not be ignored. During a child or a student's growth process, time is generally spent on the three major parts: school, home and communication with the society. School, as it stands, tends to play a key role of education, however, could not take the place of other two's responsibility.

For most of the children, parents are the first educators that teach them speaking, walking, and the primary world view. Before a child go to school, staying with parents is most possible case, and most important and decisive phase are formed during that period according to experts' conclusion. Furthermore, parents who know that their children's particular need, usually decide what and how their children learn. Even when a child goes to school, the lack of parents' help, will undoubtedly overshadow the effect of education. A good illustration to reveal the importance of parents' participation in education is Albert Einstein, when little Einstein does not do well in school and is  reproached by his teacher, it is his great mother, who encourages him not to lose heart and teaches him, and finally helps Einstein to be a great professor and a respectful man.

Society also contributes to a child's education. Man is social animal, which means, when a person  walks out of home and school, he or she gets involved in the society and could not avoid communicating with others. Generally speaking, society will lead a child to a certain direction for it decides what is right and what is wrong. By communicating with others, one's mind and character was remolded since one's behavior and the way of thinking will dramatically influenced by the society .Besides, when influenced by others, at the same time, he or she has impact on others. So we can draw a conclusion that if a person cannot conform to the general norms and principles of society when it comes to morals, or any other area, it will probably that person being outcast or undesirable by others. Moreover, when a person wants to improve the sociability and to get himself prepared for the future career, the real and to some extent, the only way is stepping into society and communicating with others frequently.

However, the function of parents and communities should not be overrated. Parents, usually lacking systematical knowledge as professional educators do, will sometimes too subjective to decide what their children learn, and for most parents, the deficiency of knowledge makes a child  impossible to get well educated at home instead of going to school. For the society, since its influence imbued with non-mainstream or unhealthy ones, does not abase the significance of school, where, with professional educators well picked up , lead a child to the right direction.

In conclusion, without parents or communities, our education will not attain the expectant goals since the two are both significant to a child's growth discussed above. Yet, overrated function of the two will lead to another extreme. To make our education truly effective with less investment and more produce, the cooperation of the three parts is essentially needed.

PsychocandyUID: 171159

The emphasis on the significance of education is always not overshadowed since it does not only let human beings know tremendously about the laws and principles of the society and the nature, but also guarantees（强调教育的重要性就能guarantee什么呢？guarantee这个词感觉太强了） a nation to maintain its powerful competition（如果是强大的竞争力可以说competitiveness） and assures the society as a whole to attain achievements and progress. Consequently, how to make our education utmost（utmost只能作名词和形容词，放在effective这个形容词前不对,改成most） effective becomes an everlasting topic. The statement above asserts that besides professional educators, parents and communities should be involved to pursue excellent education. I generally agree with the claim.

Look back on our history, at any country, and at any time, education means not only single（receiving前      应该是副词） receiving the authority of professional educators in school. As the speaker points out, the way of teaching has three essential parts. Compared with school learning, parents and communities（如果后面是either，前面应该是or，如果前面是and，后面就both）, either plays（play，因为parents和communities都是复数） a indispensable role and the significance should not be ignored. During a child or a student's growth process, time is generally spent on the three major parts: school, home and communication with the society. School, as it stands, tends to play a key role of education, however, could not take the place of other two's responsibility.

For most of the children, parents are the first educators that teach them speaking, walking, and the primary world view. Before a child go（goes） to school, staying with parents is （the）most possible case, and most important and decisive phase are formed during that period according to experts' conclusion. Furthermore, parents who know that their children's particular need, usually decide what and how their children learn. Even when a child goes to school, the lack of parents' help, will undoubtedly overshadow the effect of education. A good illustration to reveal the importance of parents' participation in education is Albert Einstein, when little Einstein does not do well in school and is  reproached by his teacher, （还是过去时吧）it is his great mother, who encourages him not to lose heart and teaches him, and finally helps Einstein to be a great professor and a respectful（respectable？） man.

Society also contributes to a child's education. Man is social animal, which means, when a person walks out of home and school, he or she gets involved in the society and could not avoid communicating with others.（我觉得把school和社会分的这么开值得商榷，因为孩子的社会化很大程度上是在学校完成的） Generally speaking, society will lead a child to a certain direction for it decides what is right and what is wrong. By communicating with others, one's mind and character was（are） remolded since one's behavior and the way of thinking will（加be） dramatically influenced by the society .Besides, when influenced by others, at the same time, he or she has impact on others. So we can draw a conclusion that if a person cannot conform to the general norms and principles of society when it comes to morals, or any other area, it will probably that person being outcast or undesirable by others.（that person will probably be an outcast or undesirable person for others） Moreover, when a person wants to improve the sociability and to get himself prepared for the future career, the real and to some extent, the only way is stepping into society and communicating with others frequently.

However, the function of parents and communities should not be overrated. Parents, usually lacking systematical knowledge as professional educators do, will sometimes too subjective to decide（will sometimes too subjectively decide） what their children learn, and for most parents, the deficiency of knowledge makes a child  impossible to get well educated at home instead of going to school. For the society, since its influence imbued with non-mainstream or unhealthy ones, does not abase the significance of school, where, with professional educators well picked up , lead a child to the right direction.

In conclusion, without parents or communities, our education will not attain the expectant goals since the two are both significant to a child's growth discussed above. Yet, overrated function of the two will lead to another extreme. To make our education truly effective with less investment（我觉得不必再提到投入，三方都投入也许是更大的投入呢） and more produce, the cooperation of the three parts is essentially needed.

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

The emphasis on the significance of education is always not overshadowed since it does not only let human beings know tremendously about the laws and principles of the society and the nature, but also guarantees a nation to maintain its powerful competition and assures the society as a whole to attain achievements and progress. 这句和主题没关系啊.主题说家长.社会和学校的关系问题,并没有说教育的作用.Consequently, how to make our education utmost effective becomes an everlasting topic. The statement above asserts that besides professional educators, parents and communities should be involved to pursue excellent education. I generally agree with the claim.个人感觉这样的开头并不好,因为不够直接切入主题,太多的套话效果并不好.

Look back on our history, at any country, and at any time, education means not only single receiving the authority of professional educators in school. 还是没有必要把教育的作用说的那么多As the speaker points out, the way of teaching has three essential parts. Compared with school learning, parents and communities, either plays a indispensable role and the significance should not be ignored. During a child or a student's growthgrowing process, time is generally spent on the three major parts: school, home and communication with the society.这一句比较没有必要 School, as it stands, tends to play a key role of education, however, could not take the place of other two's responsibility.问题和开头一样,说了半天还是没有说出你的观点,之后最后一句大概有点自己观点的感觉.

For most of the children, parents are the first educators that teach them speaking, walking, and the primary world view. Before a child go goesto school, staying with parents is most possible case, and most important and decisive phase are formed during that period according to experts' conclusion哪来的专家的结论?. Furthermore, parents who know that their children's particular need, usually decide what and how their children learn. Even when a child goes to school, the lack of parents' help, will undoubtedly overshadow the effect of education. A good illustration to reveal the importance of parents' participation in education is Albert Einstein, 都应该用过去时吧when little Einstein does not do well in school and is  reproached by his teacher, it is his great mother, who encourages him not to lose heart and teaches him, and finally helps Einstein to be a great professor and a respectful man.and then?你的结论呢?

加几个连接词会让段落的层次感比较强.Society also contributes to a child's education. how?Man is social animal, which means, when a person  walks out of home and school, he or she gets involved in the society and could not avoid communicating with others. Generally speaking, society will lead a child to a certain direction for it decides what is right and what is wrong.有一点不明白这一段到底是着重人于人的交流还是社会的规范作用? By communicating with others, one's mind and character was remolded since one's behavior and the way of thinking will dramatically influenced by the society .Besides, when influenced by others, at the same time, he or she has impact on others. So we can draw a conclusion that if a person cannot conform to the general norms and principles of society when it comes to morals, or any other area, it will probably that person being outcast or undesirable by others. Moreover, when a person wants to improve the sociability and to get himself prepared for the future career, the real and to some extent, the only way is stepping into society and communicating with others frequently.and then? 而且这一段似乎在说社会上人与人之间交流的作用和教育也没有联系起来.

However, the function of parents and communities should not be overrated. Parents, usually lacking systematical knowledge as professional educators do, will sometimes too subjective to decide what their children learn, and for most parents, the deficiency of knowledge makes a child  impossible to get well educated at home instead of going to school. For the society, since its influence imbued with non-mainstream or unhealthy ones, does not abase the significance of school, where, with professional educators well picked up , lead a child to the right direction.只说了家长和社会的不足,没有说学校的优点啊,而且就算是让步段没有展开的话也是比较不能另人信服的.

In conclusion, without parents or communities, our education will not attain the expectant goals since the two are both significant to a child's growth discussed above. Yet, overrated function of the two will lead to another extreme. To make our education truly effective with less investment and more produce, the cooperation of the three parts is essentially needed.

个人感觉整篇文章有2个问题,第一每段结尾部分都不能得出自己的结论,而且因为你每段开头都没有鲜明的TS,所以别人会不太清楚你的观点到底是什么,第2作为论据的一些话都是表象的东西,这些东西说作为理由是完全可以质疑的,没有把深层次的原因找出来可以说是一个相对比较大的问题.
有时间拍一下我的,thx