argument65 [0710G Superstar小组]第四次作业

totalsm45518UID: 2286658

words:557  time:29 min  

In this argument, the president recommends that the best way to improve profits is to stop stocking many kinds of imported cheese and focus primarily on domestic cheeses, which seems to be more popular. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites that fact that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest sore of their company were all domestic cheddar cheeses produced by Wisconsin, along with a result coming from a survey taken by Cheeses of the World magazine. However, the argument is flaw in several aspects as it stands when we have a deeper observation on it.

In the first place, the arguer notes that fact happened in their newest store that domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin had taken all of the five top positions in the sale of cheeses last year, according to which, the arguer assumes that domestic cheeses has become more popular with consumers. However, the five best-seller cheeses are just all produced by Wisconsin, which cannot typify all the other brands and producers of cheeses at home. Maybe consumers only favor the quality and taste of Wisconsin’s cheeses but still cannot accept ones from other producers. Therefore, the assumption that there will absolutely be an increase of preference to the domestic cheeses is inconvincible.

In the second place, the arguer cites a responds from a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine, which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Nevertheless, there is no sufficient information about the whole procedure of the survey, including the background of respondents, the way of delivering those surveys and the whole number of subscribers that have participate in the survey, which make is less supportive to the arguer’s assumption. If the respondents are all consumers who prefer domestic much more than imported ones or there are only a few subscribers have answered the survey, the result of the survey is not authoritative and cannot represent the whole nation’s choice.

Finally, the arguer simply concludes that discontinuing most of the imported cheeses and concentrating primarily on domestic ones is the best way to improve profits in all stores of their chain, which is unwarranted. First, as the president has indicated that the best-seller domestic cheeses only happen in their newest store, which lacks of long experience and thus cannot ensure that all their stores in other places will have the same results. It is entirely possible that only the local citizens in the area which the newest store locates prefer domestic cheeses to imported ones. What’s more the arguer fails to prove that the selling domestic cheeses will certainly increase their profits. Though there is less room demanded for store, the arguer fails to provide the price difference between domestic cheeses and imported ones. Therefore, the simplified conclusion that profits will consequently be improved is unwarranted.

To sum up, the arguer fails to provide supportive and sufficient evidence to prove that there is an increase preference of domestic cheeses in all the places where their stores locates and the correlation between selling domestic cheeses and increase in profits. To better support the argument, the president should give more evidence to prove his or her assumption and also needs to take into account of other methods to improve their profits so that they can find the best way to develop and compete in the market.

laura001UID: 2295927

不好意思,给你改迟了


In this argument, the president recommends that the best way to improve profits is to stop stocking many kinds of imported cheese and focus primarily on domestic cheeses, which seems to be more popular. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites that the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest sore of their company were all domestic cheddar cheeses produced by Wisconsin, along with a result coming from a survey taken by Cheeses of the World magazine. However, the argument is flaw in several aspects as it stands when we have a deeper observation on it.


In the first place, the arguer notes that the fact happened in their newest store that domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin had taken all of the five top positions in the sale of cheeses last year, according to which, the arguer assumes that domestic cheeses has become more popular with consumers. However, the five best-seller cheeses are just all produced by Wisconsin, which cannot typify all the other brands and producers of cheeses at home. Maybe consumers only favor the quality and taste of Wisconsin’s cheeses but still cannot accept ones from other producers. （这段没有太明白，感觉有点跳跃了，你可以说可能这店刚好就在W里，所以那里的人喜欢吃自己家乡的东西，或来买的人刚好都喜欢吃W来的东西，………）Therefore, the assumption that there will absolutely be an increase of preference to the domestic cheeses is inconvincible.


In the second place, the arguer cites a responds from a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine, which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Nevertheless, there is no sufficient information about the whole procedure of the survey, including the background of respondents, the way of delivering those surveys and the whole number of subscribers that have participate in the survey, which make is less supportive to the arguer’s assumption. If the respondents are all consumers who prefer domestic much more than imported ones or there are only a few subscribers have answered the survey, the result of the survey is not authoritative and cannot represent the whole nation’s choice.

Finally, the arguer simply concludes that discontinuing most of the imported cheeses and concentrating primarily on domestic ones is the best way to improve profits in all stores of their chain, which is unwarranted. First, as the president has indicated that the best-seller domestic cheeses only happen in their newest store, which lacks of long experience and thus cannot ensure that all their stores in other places will have the same results. It is entirely possible that only the local citizens in the area which the newest store locates prefer domestic cheeses to imported ones. What’s more ，the arguer fails to prove that the selling domestic cheeses will certainly increase their profits. Though there is less room demanded for store, the arguer fails to provide the price difference between domestic cheeses and imported ones. Therefore, the simplified conclusion that profits will consequently be improved is unwarranted.


To sum up, the arguer fails to provide supportive and sufficient evidence to prove that there is an increase preference of domestic cheeses in all the places where their stores locates and the correlation between selling domestic cheeses and increase in profits. To better support the argument, the president should give more evidence to prove his or her assumption and also needs to take into account of other methods to improve their profits so that they can find the best way to develop and compete in the market.




总体上，写的挺好的，语言还是逻辑都基本没有问题．才开始写没有多久可以限制时间写出这样的文章~不错~
However，1，第2段我觉得可以饱满，有点思维跳跃了
                2，我认为这篇文章最大的批驳点就是不能用最新店的销售量来决定所有连锁店的情况，这方面你是写在第4段，还和另一个方面写在一起。能不能自己成一个独立段，专门批驳它？


这仅是个人观点，有什么问题，我们再继续讨论~~:)

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-5-28 22:49 编辑 ]