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[i习作temp] issue130 [0710G Vistors互助小组]第四次作业恳请大家拍板 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-5-25 22:13:34 |显示全部楼层

Issue130 ."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."


Is the destiny of society determined by how children are socialized today, as the speaker asserts? Haven’t we learned how to raise children who can society better, as the speaker claims? In fact, I couldn’t agree either of them. Both of them are poorly supported by empirical evidence.
  First of all, let’s pay attention to the claim that the destiny of society is determined by the socialization of children. I concede that unless a child is given sufficient opportunities to interact with healthy and positive peers, that child might grow to be a passive person, and that will result to the descend of the level on the society. Moreover, children learn naturally how to cooperate with as well as tolerant to the others at school. And they get consciousness from the harmless results, especially of fraud, laze and even anti-social behavior.
  Through the socialization of children can be useful in prompting their ability to cooperate and tolerant with the society, it can’t determines the destiny of society. In my point of view, it is not the most significant element to better society. Take Steven Hopkins’s example, whose social and physical ability were deprived by illness. But no one could deny his contributions to the society and the study of space physical was gained by his will to overcome physical disability. And Helen Kate’s contribution to the society was the result of her teacher’s influence and conviction.
  Then consider about the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who better society. At the last fifty years, the globalization has been more and more significant. Some prominent leaders and enterprises have created a better society by their contributions, particularly of invents like computer and the net of Internet. Can’t these evidences demonstrate the children had been raised to better society?
  In sum, when it comes to whether a child can better society, the most significant element isn’t socialization, but the other important facets, such as personal will, peer’s influence and conviction. So I disagree with the speaker’s simply allegiance.

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发表于 2007-5-26 20:21:22 |显示全部楼层
Is the destiny of society determined by how children are socialized today, as the speaker asserts? Haven’t we learned how to raise children who can society better, as the speaker claims? In fact, I couldn’t agree either of them. Both of them are poorly supported by empirical evidence.
  First of all, let’s pay attention to the claim that the destiny of society is determined by the socialization of children. I concede that unless a child is given sufficient opportunities to interact with healthy and positive peers, that child might grow to be a passive person, and that will result to the descend of the level on the society [这个用法不太好 degeneracy of society]. Moreover, children learn naturally how to cooperate with as well as tolerant to the others at school. And they get consciousness from the harmless results, especially of fraud, laze and even anti-social behavior.
  Through the socialization of children can be useful in prompting their ability to cooperate and tolerant with the society, it can’t determines[determine] the destiny of society. In my point of view, it is not the most significant element to better society. Take Steven Hopkins’[错了]s example, whose social and physical ability were deprived by illness. But no one could deny his contributions to the society and the study of space physical was gained by his will to overcome physical disability. And Helen Kate’s contribution to the society was the result of her teacher’s influence and conviction.
  Then consider about the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who[bring about] better society. At the last[past] fifty years, the globalization has been more and more significant. Some prominent leaders and enterprises have created a better society by their contributions, particularly of invents like computer and the net of Internet[internet]. Can’t these evidences demonstrate the children had been raised to better society?
  In sum, when it comes to whether a child can better society, the most significant element isn’t socialization, but the other important facets, such as personal will, peer’s influence and conviction. So I disagree with the speaker’s simply allegiance.



我的partner有事,所以就改你的了.  不错, 一起加油吧.

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发表于 2007-5-27 14:41:08 |显示全部楼层
呵呵,既然上面的改了,我就不改细节了,大体谈谈我的看法吧,你的整篇文章有ARGUMENT的倾向,好象是针对原论题的几个观点进行辩驳,这样是很危险的,你最好针对他的一个观点,提出自己的观点,并根据自己的观点提出分论点因为在你的这篇文章里,看不到你自己的总的论点,完全是顺着原来的论点展开的,以后要注意啦

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发表于 2007-5-27 15:23:25 |显示全部楼层
Thank you. I feel very hard to the issue 130,especially for its topic--society and edution. How do you think of them?
My computer haven't been repaired~

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发表于 2007-5-27 15:44:15 |显示全部楼层
both issue130 and 185 challenge me.

[ 本帖最后由 mmbee 于 2007-5-28 00:03 编辑 ]
Without practice, you will get nothing.

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RE: issue130 [0710G Vistors互助小组]第四次作业恳请大家拍板 [修改]

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issue130 [0710G Vistors互助小组]第四次作业恳请大家拍板
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