argument147 [sweetbox小组第一次作业]by jordan

wm23UID: 2245087

同样也是第一篇ARG,大家也一起拍吧!
argument147 [sweetbox小组第一次作业]by jordan
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."


    The conclusion of the author is that sales trend of video games of Whirlwind Company will change from declining to increasing. To support the conclusion, the author point out that a recent survey about what features are the most important in a video game. Furthermore, most players who take part in the survey think that lifelike graphics which require the most up-to-date computers is the most important element of game. What’s more, there are several games of Whirlwind Company which introduced with and extensive advertising campaign to players possessed that features. Depend on the result of survey and the features of games of Whirlwind Company, the author draw a conclusion that the sales of products of Whirlwind Company will increase in the next few months, but there are still several flaws that the author did not think about, which make the conclusion unreliable.
    Firstly, the result of survey is unreliable. The author fails to tell us how many players receive the survey, and where they are came from. We don’t know the quantity of players who take part in the survey, and the extent of the survey, so we can not accept the result of survey as an exactly statistical date. Consequently, the attitude toward video game of players who receive the survey can not represent the attitude of all players.
    The second problem is author should not judge sales trend only by the result of survey. We assume the survey is reliable and the result is absolutely precise, however, I think it is not enough to prove sales will increase. The player who receive the survey prefer games that provide lifelike graphics and we know that graphic is very important for a game, whereas, it is not mean the whole of game. Players do not want to buy a game that boring in content but brilliant in graphic. Similarly, you will not eat a nasty dish with a dedicate appearance.
    Thirdly, there are some other factors may affect the sales of game, but the author does not consider them. On the one hand, the result of survey tells us players prefer fine graphic in game, and that usually means a high system requirement. Hence, if the author can not assures every player has a most up-to-date computer, his conclusion will be more unreliable. Player will not choose a game that his computer can not achieve its system requirement. On the other hand, it is true that extensive advertising campaign can provide help to sale increase but the price of game, competitor, culture background etc. also will influence game sale. As we see, all of this was disregarded by the author.
    In sum, the author’s argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide evidence that the game of Whirlwind Company is really attractive and fit for players.

[ 本帖最后由 wm23 于 2007-5-25 23:51 编辑 ]

zoe797970UID: 2249886

The conclusion of the author is that sales trend of video games of Whirlwind Company will change from declining to increasing. To support the conclusion, the author point out that a recent survey about what features are the most important in a video game. Furthermore, most players who take part in the survey think that lifelike graphics which require the most up-to-date computers is the most important element of game. What’s more, there are several games of Whirlwind Company which introduced with and extensive advertising campaign to players possessed that features. Depend on the result of survey and the features of games of Whirlwind Company, the author draw a conclusion that the sales of products of Whirlwind Company will increase in the next few months, but there are still several flaws that the author did not think about, which make the conclusion unreliable.（嘿嘿，开头的句式借鉴得很好，不过我觉得在重申作者的观点和论据的时候要在不产生歧义的基础上再简洁一些:) ）
    Firstly, the result of survey is unreliable. The author fails to tell us how many players receive the survey, and where they are came from. We don’t know the quantity of players who take part in the survey, and the extent of the survey, so we can not accept the result of survey as an exactly statistical date. Consequently, the attitude toward video game of players who receive the survey can not represent the attitude of all players.（从调查容量上来击破固然很不错，不过个人认为这个调查的更大的纰漏在于它的调查者是否和最后结论适用者可能不一致）
    The second problem is author should not judge sales trend only by the result of survey. We assume the survey is reliable and the result is absolutely precise, however, I think it is not enough to prove sales will increase. The player who receive the survey prefer games that provide lifelike graphics and we know that graphic is very important for a game, whereas, it is not mean the whole of game（这句有点语法错误）. Players do not want to buy a game that （which is )boring in content but brilliant in graphic. Similarly, you will not eat a nasty dish with a dedicate appearance.(采用比喻的方式很好，很形象）
    Thirdly, there are some other factors may affect the sales of game, but the author does not consider them. On the one hand, the result of survey tells us players prefer fine graphic in game, and that usually means a high system requirement. Hence, if the author can not assures every player has a most up-to-date computer, his conclusion will be more unreliable. Player will not choose a game that his computer can not achieve its system requirement. On the other hand, it is true that extensive advertising campaign can provide help to sale increase but the price of game, competitor, culture background etc. also will influence game sale. As we see, all of this was disregarded by the author.
    In sum, the author’s argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide evidence that the game of Whirlwind Company is really attractive and fit for players.（第一次写到这样真的很不错的，呵呵，思路也是比较清晰的，一起加油吧！)