argument65 [0710G Superstar小组]第四次作业

xifenglie200UID: 2331174

ISSUE 36
提纲：
1 有些成就是短期行为，（原子弹）功在当代
2 有些成就是长期投资，（植树造林）利在千秋
3 对成就的评价应该既看当时，也看长远(伊拉克战争)
  In the long history, great individuals spring out one generation after another. They set great example in their own fields and send powerful impetus to the process of human history. What they achieved cast bright light to both the contemporary and the future. So on the issue that how to decide the individual’s greatness my oppion is that both the contemporaries and the successors have the rigtht to express their comment.
  Any great achivements will have its short-term siganificance as well as long term. From this sense , we should not treated them extreamly that a certain achievement only benefits the future for which only people who live after the creator can decide its assets. Of course , inside an individual’s achievement,there may be more short-term meaning or more long term’s which call us to consider on the base of practical circumstance.
  For example, at the late stage of World War Two, in order to end the war quickly, many famous scientists assembled in the USA and worked very hard and efficiently to product atomic bombs. The final result of its using was actually that it accelerate Japan to give up. All the scientists’efforts and fruits were considered very impotant and meaningful at that time with no doult. That is to say, in the contemporaries’ eyes the invention of atomic bomb was successful. But
after the war the danger caused by such bombs really made great harm to the world’s peace. Even so, we can’t erase the contribution devoted by those scientists for overcoming the fascist.
  Apart from the aboved situation,there are also some cases that the great individual’s achievements were acknowedged by people who live after them. In this case,surely the great individuals’ work must have much more significance in the long run than short. For instance, in 1980th China’s leadership decided to launch the Three North Defence Forest Project. Since then many forest workers plants trees at the sand area in north of china. Because it may well take sevaral years even to sevaral decades for a tree to grow up. So the projects’effect was not immediately saw and it brought no direct ecconomic benefits at that time. Now, more than 20 years have passed.some of the tree grow bigger, as a result, the atmosphere qualification has been greatly improved in Beijing which is a good news for the 2008 Olimpic Games. Now we can thick how great wisdom the decision maker bore.
  The two example aboved mainly inlustrated evaluating the greatness of individuals from the temporary and the future’s sight. Actually most greatness of individuals, as I have said above, have both long and short significance, consequently, its value can be decide both by the temporaries and the successors. In the year of 2003 Presendent Bush decided to urge the Iraq War. To estimate the war from the short-term.On the positive side,it ended the atrocious reign of Sadam. On the negative side, it caused many casualties. From the long term it will pave a way for the demecratic
institution development while it also set a bad example to solve national problems by weapon. In a word ,only should we consider the greatness of individual in this way can we arrive at a objective and just assessment.

冬天的鹰UID: 2191930

一个建议，尽量少写一些有争议性的论据，比如原子弹，比如伊拉克战争。并非这些不能写，但是这很容易影响到阅卷人的情绪，尤其是当阅卷人有着与你截然相反的观点并且很坚持他的观点的时候，就算他努力维持公正地去评分，但也不容易做到真正的公正，因为你的论据甚至论点，可能就被他忽略了，本来是可以为你加分的东西被漠视了。

学野UID: 2155973

  In the long history, great individuals spring out one generation after another. They set great example in their own fields and send powerful impetus to the process of human history. What they achieved cast bright light to both the contemporary and the future. So on 这里介词合适吗？as for 吧the issue that how to decide the individual’s greatness my oppion is that both the contemporaries and the successors have the rigtht to express their comment.其实谁都有权利decide关键在是否正确的decide  Any great achivements will have its short-term siganificance as well as long term. From this sense , we should not treated them extreamly that a certain achievement only benefits the future for which only people who live after the creator can decide its assets. Of course , inside an individual’s achievement,there may be more short-term meaning or more long term’s which call us to consider on the base of practical circumstance.  For example, at the late stage of World War Two, in order to end the war quickly, many famous scientists assembled in the USA and worked very hard and efficiently to product atomic bombs. The final result of its using was actually that it accelerate Japan to give up. All the scientists’efforts and fruits were considered very impotant and meaningful at that time with no doult. That is to say, in the contemporaries’ eyes the invention of atomic bomb was successful. Butafter the war the danger caused by such bombs really made great harm to the world’s peace. Even so, we can’t erase the contribution devoted by those scientists for overcoming the fascist.  Apart from the aboved situation,there are also some cases that the great individual’s achievements were acknowedged by people who live after them. In this case,surely the great individuals’ work must have much more significance in the long run than short. For instance, in 1980th China’s leadership decided to launch the Three North Defence Forest Project. Since then many forest workers plants trees at the sand area in north of china. Because it may well take sevaral years even to sevaral decades for a tree to grow up. So the projects’effect was not immediately saw and it brought no direct ecconomic benefits at that time. Now, more than 20 years have passed.some of the tree grow bigger, as a result, the atmosphere qualification has been greatly improved in Beijing which is a good news for the 2008 Olimpic Games. Now we can thick how great wisdom the decision maker bore.例子不错！展开得很好哈  The two example aboved mainly inlustrated evaluating the greatness of individuals from the temporary and the future’s sight. Actually most greatness of individuals, as I have said above, have both long and short significance, consequently, its value can be decide both by the temporaries and the successors. In the year of 2003 Presendent Bush decided to urge the Iraq War. To estimate the war from the short-term.On the positive side,it ended the atrocious reign of Sadam. On the negative side, it caused many casualties. From the long term it will pave a way for the demecraticinstitution development while it also set a bad example to solve national problems by weapon. In a word ,only should we consider the greatness of individual in this way can we arrive at a objective and just assessment.
逻辑挺清晰的，body3,4是以两个具体例子展开说明论点的，建议那两段开头分别来个分论点，我以为最后一段是个总结，没想到还有个具体例子，估计是想说short-term 与long-term正反两面复杂性，应全面对待，不能一概而论，不知理解的对否，这又是一个body， 最后还是来个in sum的总结吧，我不知道这种写法（没总结）可不可行。。。。
语言也挺好的，就是有很多拼写错误比较明显，其实写完可以放到word里查一查就都看出来了哈~我也不太会改作文，可能某些意见不太对，呵呵，共同讨论吧

xifenglie200UID: 2331174

谢谢拍转啊