Argument147 【METTLE小组】第二次作业 by werecat

werecatUID: 2289296

Argument147 [Mettle小组第二次作业]

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."



In this editorial the arguer claims that, according to a recent survey, the games with lifelike graphics will receive great applauds and thus witness great sales. Therefore, with the publishing of several stunning-looking games and some extensive advertising campaigns aiming at the most potential players' age-group--10-25 years old--the  Whirlwind Video Games(WVG) will surely reversed the two-year long recession and gain dramatic incomes in the coming few weeks. However, the arguer failed to notice a few problems which may lead to unpredictable results.
First of all, the whole conclusion of the editorial is deduced from a not-long-time-ago survey which lacks of some crucial information. We have no idea how many players were surveyed, so there exists the risk that only a small number of players, say less than 100, gave their opinions. If so, this survey is partial and incomplete and thus can not represent the general ideas of the majority of players. Even if sufficient number of players were queried, the ages or attitudes of them may not be various enough. No one can gurantee if all the players surveyed are older than 25 years old which may render the ambitious advertising campaign meaningless. Or may be all of them are hardcore First-Person-Shooting game fans, who accolade tremendous visual effects the most, then the survey is heavliy interested. Given any of the possibilities above, the survey goes worthless and the plan of WVG will not be fruitful.
Secondly, supposing that the survey is valid enough for video game companies to refer to, WVG still has other weaknesses and flaws in its plan. No information or explanation is provided for the declining of sales in the past two years, so we are not certain whether solely introducing some new awsome-looking games will pull the company out of deficit and achieve great success. As we all know, many factors can affect the sale of games and the performance of a video game company. For instance, if the reputation of WVG is notorious for its previous games, then hardly anyone will be alacrity to buy its new game be it really excellnet or still awful. Besides, the qualities of the new games is still in question, great graphics have no secure of great plots, great entertainments or great after-sale services. Furthermore, if the whole environment of video games is receding and all the video game companies are losing money, WVG will has little hope in earing much in the future. Since then, many factors must be taken into consideration before WVG can draw a optimisic conclusion.
Except for the two main problems mentioned above, there are still some other fallacies in the editorial. As the arguer wrote "Games that provide lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers", there comes the doubt that how many players have own the most advanced gears for playing these lifelike games? What if the very best hardwares(namely dual-processors, 4GB RAM, 2GB RAM video card and so on) are too expensive for the average players to purchase, then only a modicum of players may buy WVG's games. What's more, this editorial is published on some magazine which indicates that there may probably exists some invested interests in boasting for WVG.
To sum up, this editorial is not well reasoned and thus anything but persuasive. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer must provide the details of that recent survey to ensure its objectivity. We must also know more about the conditions of WVG to decide if the publising of some new games will be effective.

刚加入小组，所以直接做第二次作业了。这是我的第一篇Ａ，也是第一篇ＧＲＥ作文，花了１个多小时，颇有纪念意义。批改的同学不用留情，大家共同进步。

AndierUID: 2302600

In this editorial the arguer claims that, according to a recent survey, the games with lifelike graphics will receive great applauds and thus witness great sales. Therefore, with the publishing of several stunning-looking games and some extensive advertising campaigns aiming at the most potential players' age-group--10-25 years old--the  Whirlwind Video Games(WVG) will surely reversed the two-year long recession and gain dramatic incomes in the coming few weeks.However, the arguer failed to notice a few problems which may lead to unpredictable results.

// 开头感觉不错，把主要问题概述了一遍~

First of all, the whole conclusion of the editorial is deduced from a not-long-time-ago survey which lacks of some crucial information. We have no idea how many players were surveyed, so there exists the risk that only a small number of players, say less than 100, gave their opinions. If so, this survey is partial and incomplete and thus can not represent the general ideas of the majority of players. Even if sufficient number of players were queried, the ages or attitudes of them may not be various enough. No one can gurantee if all the players surveyed are older than 25 years old which may render the ambitious advertising campaign meaningless. Or may be all of them are hardcore First-Person-Shooting game fans, who accolade tremendous visual effects the most, then the survey is heavliy interested.(调查只吸引喜欢画面的玩家，似乎不是那么有说服力……) Given any of the possibilities above, the survey goes worthless and the plan of WVG will not be fruitful.

// 感觉最大的问题是：他们调查的年龄群，和advertise面对的年龄群交集多大~  少这么一句清楚明确的~

Secondly, supposing that the survey is valid enough for video game companies to refer to, WVG still has other weaknesses and flaws in its plan. No information or explanation is provided for the declining of sales in the past two years, so we are not certain whether solely introducing some new awsome-looking games will pull the company out of deficit and achieve great success. As we all know, many factors can affect the sale of games and the performance of a video game company. For instance, if the reputation of WVG is notorious for its previous games, then hardly anyone will be alacrity to buy its new game be it really excellnet or still awful. Besides, the qualities of the new games is still in question, great graphics have no secure of great plots, great entertainments or great after-sale services. Furthermore, if the whole environment of video games is receding and all the video game companies are losing money, WVG will has little hope in earing much in the future. Since then, many factors must be taken into consideration before WVG can draw a optimisic conclusion.

// 这段在说，以前销量不好可能因为其他原因，单单推出新的游戏不一定改善。后面列出了其他可能导致销量不好的原因
// 但第二条：这个新游戏的质量，感觉不属于以上原因吧？感觉主要要说 除了这个新游戏以外 的因素

Except for the two main problems mentioned above, there are still some other fallacies in the editorial. As the arguer wrote "Games that provide lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers", there comes the doubt that how many players have own the most advanced gears for playing these lifelike games? What if the very best hardwares(namely dual-processors, 4GB RAM, 2GB RAM video card and so on) are too expensive for the average players to purchase, then only a modicum of players may buy WVG's games. What's more, this editorial is published on some magazine which indicates that there may probably exists some invested interests in boasting for WVG.

// 这段没啥可改的：）

To sum up, this editorial is not well reasoned and thus anything but persuasive. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer must provide the details of that recent survey to ensure its objectivity. We must also know more about the conditions of WVG to decide if the publising of some new games will be effective.

总体感觉不错~ 完全看不出来是第一篇~　应该以前英文就很强吧？ 哈哈 继续加油！