Argument137 【07-10G Superstar大帖】第八次作文

desirermimiUID: 2108321

1、支持前提的论据不完善：人们很少使用M河作娱乐活动是因为水质。但可能人们很忙，虽然很喜欢这些水上活动，但是没有足够的时间。
2、支持前提的论据不完善：人们很少使用M河做娱乐活动。有可能是因为季节处于冬季，河水结冰了，并不适合进行游泳、钓鱼和划船等水上运动。
3、前提不完善：人们避免使用M河缘于对于水质的抱怨。不能作为支持居民不在河上进行活动的完全论据。因为对于水质的抱怨有可能是因为不适合于饮用水但是并不是说不适合那些娱乐活动，
4、假设的前提不成立：河水会干净。机构宣布了计划，不一定河水就能干净，污染程度还有工作效率，都不一定能达到标准。
5、假设的前提不一定成立：河水干净了河上娱乐会上升。尽管本地居民一直把水上运动列为他们最喜欢的运动，但由于长时间很少有人使用它，所以我们并不知道居民是否愿意在M河上进行这种娱乐。M河有可能并不适合。
7、结论不完善：改进公共场所，一定需要政府预算吗？有可能是私人投资。
8、结论：公共场所需要改进吗？不一定。本文没有充足考虑到当地情况，也不知道水质改善后的前景如何，这一决策需要综合考虑。

The author reasons that if quality of the Mason River is improved betterm,the recreational use of the river is likely to increase.Then he or she comes to the conclusion that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River.However,there are many aspects of this argument that he or she has overlooked to ignore.

Firstly,there is lacking evidence to support the assumption why Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity is river quality.We could suppose that the residents may be so busy that they have no time to play in the river although they rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation.It also may be season factor that influences the action of the residents.Apparently,swimming,fishing,and boating these water sports don't carry through in winter when the river water all freeze.

Secondly,neither the seldom use of the river nor the complaints about the quality of the water in the river indicates that the river is not clean enough for recreational activities. Not suitable for drinking but suitable for recreational activities be may the quality of water.
Thirdly,it's clearly that the author's assumpyion of cleanness of Mason River is uncertitude.Can the water become clean immediatly just because the agency responsible has announced plans to clean up it? Obviousely not,the pollution extent,work efficiency and so on could result in failing of treating water standard.

Finally,recreational use of the river is likely increase since the cleanness of the Mason River water which should be doubted.We could not get the couclusion that the residents would like to use the Mson River for any kind of recreational activity,just from the quality reason. Although surveys of the region' residents consistently rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation,long-term no use of the river may bring the residents to habits that play water sports in other rivers.Maybe there are many rivers are much suitablr for recreational activities than Mason River.

Besides,is it indispensable responsibility for Mason City council to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly lands along the Mason River?In socierty there are so many personal organizations who do care for the commonweal that they could contribute the money to the improvements.

Should the publicly owned lands along the Mason River improve is a complex question.The author doesn't consider the local conditions ,and the future of improving the water quality.In order to get a right decision,the committee should base on an overall consideration of various factors.

[ 本帖最后由 desirermimi 于 2007-6-17 20:11 编辑 ]

学野UID: 2155973

1、支持前提的论据不完善：人们很少使用M河作娱乐活动是因为水质。但可能人们很忙，虽然很喜欢这些水上活动，但是没有足够的时间。
2、支持前提的论据不完善：人们很少使用M河做娱乐活动。有可能是因为季节处于冬季，河水结冰了，并不适合进行游泳、钓鱼和划船等水上运动。
3、前提不完善：人们避免使用M河缘于对于水质的抱怨。不能作为支持居民不在河上进行活动的完全论据。因为对于水质的抱怨有可能是因为不适合于饮用水但是并不是说不适合那些娱乐活动，
4、假设的前提不成立：河水会干净。机构宣布了计划，不一定河水就能干净，污染程度还有工作效率，都不一定能达到标准。
5、假设的前提不一定成立：河水干净了河上娱乐会上升。尽管本地居民一直把水上运动列为他们最喜欢的运动，但由于长时间很少有人使用它，所以我们并不知道居民是否愿意在M河上进行这种娱乐。M河有可能并不适合。
7、结论不完善：改进公共场所，一定需要政府预算吗？有可能是私人投资。
8、结论：公共场所需要改进吗？不一定。本文没有充足考虑到当地情况，也不知道水质改善后的前景如何，这一决策需要综合考虑。

The author reasons that if quality of the Mason River is improved betterm,the recreational use of the river is likely to increase.Then he or she comes to the conclusion that the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River.However,there are many aspects of this argument that he or she has overlooked to ignore.这里的总攻击太软了，只说忽略，最好能说犯了some fallacies or facets, and thus the conclusion is undrounded

Firstly,there is lacking evidence to support the assumption why Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity is river quality.We could suppose that the residents may be so busy that they have no time to play in the river although they rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation.It also may be season factor that influences the action of the residents.Apparently,swimming,fishing,and boating these water sports don't carry through in winter when the river water all freeze.这里最好能在重申下作者没有rule out other explanations

Secondly,neither the seldom use of the river nor the complaints about the quality of the water in the river indicates that the river is not clean enough for recreational activities. Not suitable for drinking but suitable for recreational activities be may the quality of water.
Thirdly,it's clearly that the author's assumpyion of cleanness of Mason River is uncertitude好像没这个词？.Can the water become clean immediatly just because the agency responsible has announced plans to clean up it? Obviousely not,the pollution extent,work efficiency and so on could result in failing failureof treating water standard.

Finally,recreational use of the river is likely to increase since the cleanness of the Mason River water which should be doubted.We could not get the couclusion that the residents would like to use the Mson River for any kind of recreational activity,just from the quality reason. Although surveys of the region' residents consistently rank water sports as a favorite form of recreation,long-term no use of the river may bring the residents to habits是指养成习惯吗？form the habits that play water sports in other rivers.Maybe there are many rivers are much suitablr for recreational activities than Mason River反例能再具体一点比较好哈，如何更适合？mason river 怎么不适合？也许本身是条航运河？也许只是条比较浅的小河？

Besides,is it indispensable responsibility for Mason City council to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly lands along the Mason River?In socierty there are so many personal organizations who do care for the commonweal that they could contribute the money to the improvements.

Should the publicly owned lands along the Mason River improve is a complex question.The author doesn't consider the local conditions ,and the future of improving the water quality.In order to get a right decision,the committee should base on an overall consideration of various factors.
攻击的面面俱到，但是好像没有主次，而且攻击的顺序和段与段之间内在逻辑性不是很强。不过说实话，这道题目的论据之间就不是很有攻击的逻辑性，我自己也把握不好，至今也没能找到比较好的攻击顺序，以下是我的供给思路，你帮我看看怎么样，我们一起讨论哈~
1调查显示水上运动为主要兴趣不代表就要使用M河，也许有专门的水上运动场地满足居民兴趣，如大型游泳池，钓鱼场。既然无需求，再有兴趣也不一定就非要使用。
2 即使他们只能选择M河作为水上运动场所，又因为论据中有人抱怨水质问题，不代表水质就是唯一因素，水质标准没有定论，可能还有河的深浅，河内并无太多鱼（水至清则无鱼）等等
3 即使确实是因为水质不好人们不去，管理部门的计划也不能保证水质最终达到具名要求，影响因素众多：实施时间，工作效率等等
4 即使最终水质达到标准满足居民标准，政府出钱也非定论，其他个人公司可以进行竞标（bid for) 毕竟如果前面都满足的话，人们都来娱乐，两岸土地建成附属设施（食品店，泳装店）是非常有利可图的。
综上。。。。。