Argument145 [天道酬勤小组]第八次作业 求互拍啊

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 375          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-14 上午 11:16:35

The author cites the collected data of a new survey and a series of deduction of the proper consequence of snorers to claim that snorers are more likely to gain weight than average people. The reasoning seems tempting at the first blush, however, the argument relies on several unproven assumptions and draw the false relationship between the snoring and overweight of people.

First of all, the author fails to provide the exact proportion of people who suffer from sleep apnea out of the total amount of snorers. In our commonsense, not every snorer would lead to frequent interruption of breathing when sleeping in the evening since the chance may relate to the type and severity of snoring. If the cases are that only a small amount of snorers have the condition of sleep apnea, the sequential deduction is not representative enough to draw the general principle about the negative outcome of snorers. For that matter, the author’s recommendation to encourage all snorers to eat less and exercise more to avoiding overweight are not unconvincing as it stands.

In addition, there is no sufficient evidence to substantiate that snorers have less exercise than average people. It might be possible that people who suffer from snoring would place more value to exercise to keep fit and carry out exercise frequently, which may lead to the completely opposite trend. Thus lacking the detailed information about the attitude of snorers toward the necessity of practice and their real action of exercise, the author can not assess to the compelling conclusion that snorers are absence form exercise because of their snore.


Even if we concede that snorers may have less exercise, we are still unable to infer that they would be more likely to gain weight than average people since only the correlation between the condition of snore and overweight can be indicated from the argument rather than the identified causal relationship. However, there may be other possibilities that can lead to snorer’s obesity. The case might be that the snorer who seldom goes out for exercise is greatly concentrated on his or her job, which occupies almost all of his energy and time. For that matter, he would have less chance to be fat. Or perhaps, the outcome of overweight may results from other factors such as genetic effect, heart disease and living environment. Any of the above mentioned scenarios, if true, would cause considerable suspicion of the validity of author's assumption. Therefore the author falsely regards the correlation between snore and overweight as the definite causal relationship.

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out another fallacy that committed by author which weakens the logic of the argument. That is, the author confuses the cause and effect of snore and overweight, even if we admit the existence of their causal relationship. The argument asserts that it is the snore that contributes to the consequence of obesity, however, the case may go that it is the overweight of a person that leads to the snore of him. In the medicine circle, it has been widely accepted that the obese person are more likely to suffer tracheal straitness especially in the site of pharynx, which is recognized as the main cause of snore for its obstruction of air flow. Thus the author fails to convince us the exact cause and effect in his so-called relationship between snore and obesity.

In sum, the author's recommendation for snorers to eat less and practice more is unwarranted as it through the above discussion. To effectively bolster his claim, the author should offer more detailed information about the proportion of people who suffer sleep apnea and investigate the exact cause of snorers’ fatness so as to establish the correct relationship between the snoring and overweight.

surreal_stevenUID: 2239190

占～

PilotBearUID: 2269456

The author cites the collected data of a new survey and a series of deduction of the proper consequence of snorers to claim that snorers are more likely to gain weight than average people. The reasoning seems tempting at the first blush, however, the argument relies on several unproven assumptions and draw the false relationship between the snoring and overweight of people.

First of all, the author fails to provide the exact proportion of people who suffer from sleep apnea out of the total amount of snorers. In our commonsense, not every snorer would lead to frequent interruption of breathing when sleeping in the evening since the chance may relate to the type and severity of snoring. If the cases are that(这地方读着这点别扭) only a small amount of snorers have the condition of sleep apnea, the sequential deduction is not representative enough to draw the general principle about the negative outcome of snorers. For that matter, the author’s recommendation to encourage all snorers to eat less and exercise more to avoiding overweight are not unconvincing as it stands.（怎么直接说到最后的结论了。应该是你驳的问题所在。）

In addition, there is no sufficient evidence to substantiate that snorers have less exercise than average people. （文中有这话么？他是说，容易累）It might be possible that people who suffer from snoring would place more value to exercise to keep fit and carry out exercise frequently, which may lead to the completely opposite trend. Thus lacking the detailed information about the attitude of snorers toward the necessity of practice and their real action of exercise, the author can not assess to the compelling conclusion that snorers are absence form exercise because of their snore.


Even if we concede that snorers may have less exercise, we are still unable to infer that they would be more likely to gain weight than average people since only the correlation between the condition of snore and overweight can be indicated from the argument rather than the identified causal relationship. However, there may be other possibilities that can lead to snorer’s obesity. The case might be that the snorer who seldom goes out for exercise is greatly concentrated on his or her job, which occupies almost all of his energy and time. For that matter, he would have less chance to be fat. Or perhaps, the outcome of overweight may results from other factors such as genetic effect, heart disease and living environment. Any of the above mentioned scenarios, if true, would cause considerable suspicion of the validity of author's assumption. Therefore the author falsely regards the correlation between snore and overweight as the definite causal relationship.（这段写得比较好，其他段按这段写就好了）

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out another fallacy that committed by author which weakens the logic of the argument. That is, the author confuses the cause and effect of snore and overweight, even if we admit the existence of their causal relationship. The argument asserts that it is the snore that contributes to the consequence of obesity, however, the case may go that it is the overweight of a person that leads to the snore of him. In the medicine circle, it has been widely accepted that the obese person are more likely to suffer tracheal straitness especially in the site of pharynx, which is recognized as the main cause of snore for its obstruction of air flow. Thus the author fails to convince us the exact cause and effect in his so-called relationship between snore and obesity.（这段也不错）

In sum, the author's recommendation for snorers to eat less and practice more is unwarranted as it through the above discussion. To effectively bolster his claim, the author should offer more detailed information about the proportion of people who suffer sleep apnea and investigate the exact cause of snorers’ fatness so as to establish the correct relationship between the snoring and overweight.

感觉你argu写得不如Issue，你argument还是稍微多写写吧。加油！

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

回过头来看真是问题多多
第二段的结尾句没处理好，本来是想说没有提供具体比例，继而往下的推断就不具代表性，就没办法证明作者的建议是正确的，结尾一说就说多了，没强调重点，所以就很不恰当
第三段把打呼噜－疲劳－锻炼少的中间过程给忽略了，不应该，但是在处理类似问题的时候比如在同一段里面批驳几个连续的推断A--B--C 该怎么处理好呢，

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

一步一步说，还是挑重点直接忽略中间步骤