9月ibt第六次作业——optoAz

optoAzUID: 2313070

唉，写东西写的越来越浮躁了。。
而且自己回头一看，都能看出来很多中式英语和不合语法的表达方式。。。

俺的语法真的十分十分的恶劣。。。。=_= 咋办捏。。



写作：
Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Since the development of society and the rate of life continued to speed up, a great mass of people have showed their concern of the project and expressed their views of if people prefer to eat food at home or restaurants. It is clear that each point has lots of people to support, now that we have to make a decision, for myself, I think to eat at restaurants or food stands is a better choice.

It is time we explore the truth of "Time is money". So eating at restaurants, which saves more time and become more effective, will be the best choice in this accelerated era. One person could have a lunch in less than ten minutes at a small restaurant, which takes in home, however, about two hours at least. When you want to prepare some food at home, you have to buy some material first, and then clean the material, to say nothing of the time of cooking itself, or wash the plants and pan you used. What a waste of time! So why don not we save this lot of time to do something more significant and have meal more effective?

Effective is but one of the many effects, another reason for me to choose eat out home is that the restaurant has various type of food for you to eat. For example, you can have goose liver paste in French restaurants, or get delicious steak in American food stands, what's more, you can also tasting Chinese dishes, like Kongpao chicken, Mapo tofu, and dumplings, which is very famous in many countries now. But in contrast, when cooking meal in home, you can only have one or two kind of food, which will make you boring sooner or later. Since eating at restaurants can make you have more choice and offered you various food, why still we have food in home?

Although eating at home has it own advantages. Under this condition, the food you prepared for yourself can be increasingly clean and maybe more nutritious. But there is no deny that nothing is more important than efficiency and variety nowadays. In conclusion from what has been discussed above , I therefore reinforce my standpoint that I prefer having food in restaurants than in home.  (380)


口语:
Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Well, for myself, I think the water must be the most urgent resource to save in all kind of resources.
First of all, as everyone knows, nothing is more important than water for human beings to live in this planet. Without water, all kind of life will die in a short period of time. No matter plants, animals, or human beings ourselves, water is the essential apart of life.
What's more, the water resource has reduce rapidly in the last years. From pollution to salinization, every aspect of this makes water, a kind of non-renewable resources, disappearing so fast.
So, personally speaking, I think everyone on the earth should emphasize the importance of water, and make every effort to save it.(121)

optoAzUID: 2313070

另外，作文里举例子的时候，俺总是摆脱不了you you的用法，
（比如 When you want to prepare some food at home, you have to ...一直you来you去的。。）
上次有兄台给我指出来toefl作文举例子最好不要用you如何如何的。。
可是我不知道怎么改。。。。
求教哈。。。

sigtemUID: 2169461

没人改你的作文我来改吧，误导了别怪我

写作：
Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Since the development of society and the rate of life continued to speed up 我不确定这个rate of life是否用得合适，而且continue不应用过去时吧, a great mass of people have showed their concern of the project and expressed their views of if people prefer to eat food at home or restaurants 这句话和下面这句话好罗嗦啊，. It is clear that each point has lots of people to support, now that we have to make a decision, for myself, I think to eat at restaurants or food stands is a better choice. 后面这句话单句之间缺少连词
个人认为，英语里的长句只有在增加信息量时才是优美的，如果一个简洁的短句硬要拉成长句并且表达相同的意思，那只能是罗嗦和累赘. 建议第一段改为：As the rapid development of society and rising living standard, a great mass of people concern where to eat food, at home or restaurants. Many people prefer restaurants while others do not. In my point of view, eating at restaurants or food stands is a good choice.

It is time we explore the truth of "Time is money" 这句强调句同样缺乏连词，不符合英语习惯. So eating at restaurants, which saves more time and become more effective, will be the best choice in this accelerated era. One person could have a lunch in less than ten minutes at a small restaurant, which takes in at home, however, about two hours at least 这句话最好改为…which takes about two hours or more if at home. When when 改成if you want to prepare some food at home, you have to buy some material first, and then clean the material, to say nothing of the time of cooking itself, or wash the plants and pan you used. What a waste of time! So why don not we 这里直接用why not…即可 save this lot of time to do something more significant and have meal more effective? have meal more effective好像在这不合适，你讨论的是在哪吃饭的问题，而不是做饭的效率问题，如果仅仅是做饭效率不高导致你下馆子，那你应该考虑的是如何提高做饭效率。事实上即使做饭效率再高，你仍然会觉得自己做是一件花时间的事。

Effective effective不是名词 is but but能这样用吗？ one of the many effects, another reason for me to choose eat out home is that the restaurant has various type 用flavor好些 of food for you to eat 这句话又少了连词. For example, you can have goose liver paste in French restaurants, or get delicious steak in American food stands, what's more, you can also tasting taste Chinese dishes, like Kongpao chicken, Mapo tofu, and dumplings, which is are very famous in many countries now 这里which引导的从句没有很大的必要写. But in contrast but 就等于in contrast，重复了, when cooking meal in at home, you can only have one or two kind of 改为cook flavor food, which will make you boring sooner or later. Since eating at restaurants can make you have more choice and offered you various food, why still we have food in at home?

Although eating at home has it own advantages 这句话倒是多了个连词although，感觉像没说完. Under this condition, the food you prepared for yourself can be increasingly clean and maybe more nutritious. But there is no deny 没有这种用法吧，deny不是名词，应该是: It is undeniable… that nothing is more important than efficiency and variety 这里variety让读者不清楚指什么，而且放到这句话里，口味的多样有这么重要吗？ nowadays. In conclusion from what has been discussed above , I therefore reinforce my standpoint that I prefer having food in restaurants than in home 用prefer… to….  (380)

虽然我比较吹毛求疵，楼主的作文仍然属于ETS所说的acceptable English，而且行文逻辑也很好，分论点的论述很充分。值得注意的是，汉语是意合的语言，而英语是形合的语言，英语的单句之间必须有连词否则读者很难读懂。

[ 本帖最后由 sigtem 于 2007-7-25 13:32 编辑 ]

louyi871UID: 2298943

sigtem同学实在是高手，我看了都十分受益啊。。我觉得对于语法和句型问题我就不要再班门弄斧了。。。。
就说一下整体，lz举的例子和细节都不错。前后结构也很清晰。除了语法有一些错误。
sigtem同学的逻辑真是太严谨了。。。可能问题在于，个人觉得，这是一个选择性的问题，在论证时，要说明你不选的那个和你选的那个之间到底有什么差异，由此导致了你的选择。