Issu11【07-10G Superstar大帖】7.27 by Huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

没限时，狠狠拍吧

Should a global university designed to engage students in solving the persistent social problems be supported by all nations, as the speaker asserts? Generally I agree that a global university be built with financial support from countries all over the world. While I concede that the university will have positive influence on some social issues, due to some reasons by nature, the value and benefit of the university will be very limited.

Admittedly, the university will has much positive influence to our world in several aspects. One of the benefits involves the culture conflict in today’s world. It is undeniable that development in communication tech and transportation has greatly shorten the distance between continents and nations, enabled people far away to talk to each other instantly and made people before TV know events in other countries. However, the misunderstanding between some cultures are not eliminated but instead, are enlarged and I think by way of letting young people from different culture learning and living together for a long time may effectively help them get a deeper insight and step on to make understanding and balance toward the cultures they once dislike or hit. For example, in nowadays there are serious racial conflict between China and Japan in which lacking of inter understanding server as a chief reason. Since young people, especial students in collage and university, are usually curious and willing to get new idea, putting some students, even if only a small amount, from both countries together can contribute to solve these problems.

However, the effect of the university in solving social problem may be very limited due to two reasons. First one may lies in the different national constitution, religion, economy and technology development and so forth. According to my empirical experience, students from nations may affirmatively stand by their countries’ interest and value, then it is not hard to say that conflicts and debates are not inevitable in the campus of global university. And those debates are not likely to result in some constructive suggestions or coincidence like those in our daily classrooms. For example, students from communism countries like China, North Korea and Cuba may hold totally different opinion about democracy and wealth with students from Western nations, which may cause a endless conflict because any of the both are likely to abandon their ideas and accept the other’s. Or imagine what will happen when North Korea students and American students talk about the unclear weapons of Korea, which may be also not likely to result in some shared opinion. And if the university can manage to solve this problem, I can not hope it to solve those much bigger problems

The other reason involves in the influence of both the students and teachers of the global university. Although there may be some conflicts within the university, it is very possible that though hard work and discussion, members of the university could find some better ways, solutions or suggestions in solving certain social problems. But whether these works can be accepted and carried out is also a problem. Common sense tells me that any reform, policy- changing needs courage, bravery, sometimes sacrifice and most importantly, power. Since we can not expect students of the global university to become powerful politicians or leaders someday, and meanwhile accounting on students or professors to persuade those figures in power is also unrealistic, whether those works by global university can realize their value is highly uncertain. Fact shows that some good solutions to issues like reducing green-housing gas emission are until now not wildly put into practice by a few nations due to consideration of their own interests, let alone those ideas make by only a group of students and professors, which makes me more suspect about the value of the university.

To sum up, I can only partially agree with the speaker that a global university should be found. But different with the speaker’s assertion, we can not account much on the university to help solve persistent social problems.

desirermimiUID: 2108321

Should a global university designed to engage students in solving the persistent social problems be supported by all nations, as the speaker asserts? Generally I agree that a global university be built with financial support from countries all over the world. [你的论证部分是以反对为主，让步说还是有一定好处。所以这个开头部分应该先鲜明的提出你的反对观点，再however让步说好处。否则这样的开头，让人一开始读就误以为你是比较赞同的，在赞同的同时让步说它的不好。至少我读了有这样的感觉：D]

While I concede that the university will have positive influence on some social issues, due to some reasons by nature, the value and benefit of the university will be very limited.
Admittedly, the university will has much positive influence to our world in several aspects[such as what?觉得这个地方应该把几方面列举出来，否则就显得只是在说空话了，然后可以在这几个方面挑出一个进行具体论述，比如你接下来举的例子。]. One of the benefits involves the culture conflict in today’s world. It is undeniable that development in communication tech[technology] and transportation has greatly shorten the distance between continents and nations, enabled people far away to talk to each other instantly and made people before TV know events in other countries. However, the misunderstanding between some cultures are not eliminated but instead, are enlarged and[这之后你阐述的是让不同文化的人融合在一起的方式和好处，与前面说的意思是相对的，所以我觉得不应该and连接, 而该用yet 或but来转折进入另外的意思，这样才比较明晰] I think by way of letting young people from different culture learning and living together for a long time may effectively help them get a deeper insight and step on to make understanding and balance toward the cultures they once dislike or hit. For example, in nowadays there are serious racial conflict between China and Japan in which lacking of inter understanding server[serve] as a chief reason. Since young people, especial students in collage and university, are usually curious and willing to get new idea, [then,注意句子间的衔接，在官方范文评判里很注重这点]putting some students, even if only a small amount, from both countries together can contribute to solve these problems.

However, the effect of the university in solving social problem may be very limited due to two reasons. First one may lies in the different national constitution, religion, economy and technology development and so forth. According to my empirical experience, students from nations may affirmatively stand by their countries’ interest[interests] and value, then it is not hard to say that conflicts and debates are not inevitable in the campus of global university. And those debates are not likely to result in some constructive suggestions or coincidence like those in our daily classrooms. For example, students from communism countries like China, North Korea and Cuba may hold totally different opinion about democracy and wealth with students from Western nations, which may cause a[an] endless conflict because any of the both are likely to abandon their ideas and accept the other’s. [个人建议，最好不要写有关这种政治倾向的例子，特别是对老美的，虽然没有褒贬]Or imagine what will happen when North Korea students and American students talk about the unclear weapons of Korea, which may be also not likely to result in some shared opinion. And if the university can manage to solve this problem, I can not hope it to solve those much bigger problems[这最后的话啥意思？]

The other reason involves in the influence of both the students and teachers of the global university. Although there may be some conflicts within the university, it is very possible that though[through] hard work and discussion, members of the university could find some better ways, solutions or suggestions in solving certain social problems. But whether these works can be accepted and carried out is also a problem. Common sense tells me that any reform, policy- changing needs courage, bravery, sometimes sacrifice and most importantly, power. Since we can not expect students of the global university to become powerful politicians or leaders someday, and meanwhile accounting on students or professors to persuade those figures in power is also unrealistic, whether those works by global university can realize their value is highly uncertain. Fact shows that some good solutions to issues like reducing green-housing gas emission are until now not wildly put into practice[改成倒装句会比较好，fact shows until now are the some solutions to issues like reducing greenhouse gas emission not widely put into practice] by a few nations due to consideration of their own interests,[In this case,] let alone those ideas make by only a group of students and professors, which makes me more suspect about the value of the university.

To sum up, I can only partially agree with the speaker that a global university should be found. But different with the speaker’s assertion, we can not account much on[account for才是表原因的吧？我没找到account on] the university to help solve persistent social problems.[结尾可以长一些，比如可以把你的论证段稍微总结一下]

[小结：论证部分还是比较清晰的，用语也较流畅。
整体的论证思路进一步理清较好。
加油！：D]