Argument238 [Mettle] by werecat

werecatUID: 2289296

238The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.
"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."

In this memorandum the president of Mira Vista College(MV) highly recommended that the college should help graduates find employment by means of offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors. He indicates that the nearby Green Mountain College(GM) which opens more courses of business and offers more job counselors also have a higher number of employed graduates in the prospective employers than MV. However, the reason provided is unwarranted and vague under close scrutiny.

In the first place, the president suggest offering more courses in business and computer in order to better qualified their graduates due to GM's success of doing so. However, we can not find any direct and causal connections between taking the courses and getting hired. As no further information is provided, it is equally possible that the graduates from GM are relatively more qualified than those of MV's due to their better academic performance and the higher adimission threshold of GM. Still chances are that the graduates from GM are majored in some favourable field other than business and computer, so that the companies are more preferred to recruit them than MV's. What's more, the article does not warrant clearly the cause and effect relationship between the job counselors and graduates' employments. So there also exists the possibility that the companies do not care too much about the resumes and interviewing performances at all, but what they put much attention to is from which college or major do they graduate. If any of the scenario is true, then it is no use just adding some courses and job counselors in MV.

Secondly, the statistics reported by the nearby GM is still doubtful in some respects. As it is mentioned above, 90% of GM's graduates received offers from prospective employers, however, the term "prospective" is too vague to represent the whole employment situation. We may not exclude the possibility that those who were offered jobs had seeked companies for well over three months. Moreover, this statistic does not indicates the number of graduates who were employed in their majors, so it is still probable that even fewer percents of graduates remained in their major after graduated from GM than MV.

Thirdly, even if it is granted that some courses of business and computer and more job counselors do contribute positively to the graduates, we can not ignore the regional disparity. Given the situation that GM located in a thriving city with many big companies, while MV was established in a rather small town. Thus there are certainly more oppotunities for the graduates from GM.
In summary, this memorandum lacks certain details so that it turned out to biased and groundless. I have to suspend my credibility about the recommendation until the author provides the following evidence:(1) the detailed comparison between the employment of GM and MV (2)the distinctins between two places where two colleges situated. (3)The exact causal relationship between the courses and job counselors and the employment.

macawUID: 2291086

Argument238 [Mettle] by werecat
238The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.
"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."

In this memorandum the president of Mira Vista College(MV) highly recommended that the college should help graduates find employment by means of offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors. He indicates that the nearby Green Mountain College(GM) which opens more courses of business and offers more job counselors also have a higher number of employed graduates in the prospective employers than MV. However, the reason provided is unwarranted and vague under close scrutiny.

In the first place, the president suggest【暗示？我觉得应该换个词，这个词第N个意思才是暗示，似乎弱了】 offering more courses in business and computer in order to better qualified their graduates due to GM's success of doing so. However, we can not find any direct and causal connections between taking the courses and getting hired. As no further information is provided, it is equally possible that the graduates from GM are relatively more qualified than those of MV's due to their better academic performance and the higher admission threshold of GM. Still chances are that the graduates from GM are majored in some favorable field other than business and computer, so that the companies are more preferred to recruit them than MV's. What's more, the article does not warrant clearly the cause and effect relationship between the job counselors and graduates' employments. So there also exists the possibility that the companies do not care too much about the resumes and interviewing performances at all, but what they put much attention to is from which college or major do they graduate. If any of the scenarios is true, then it is no use just adding some courses and job counselors in MV.【这最后的一个可能性，有些绝对化】

Secondly, the statistics reported by the nearby GM is still doubtful in some respects. As it is mentioned above, 90% of GM's graduates received offers from prospective employers, however, the term "prospective" is too vague to represent the whole employment situation. We may not exclude the possibility that those who were offered jobs had sleeked companies for well over three months. Moreover, this statistic does not indicates the number of graduates who were employed in their majors, so it is still probable that even fewer percents of graduates remained in their major after graduated from GM than MV.
【这段着手点我认为应该放在MV上，而不是反过来攻击GM提供的数据，表达倒是一样的意思，看上去谦和，更有力度一点】

Thirdly, even if it is granted that some courses of business and computer and more job counselors do contribute positively to the graduates, we can not ignore the regional disparity. Given the situation that GM located in a thriving city with many big companies, while MV was established in a rather small town. Thus there are certainly more oppotunities for the graduates from GM. 【这段有些牵强，当然也是有可能的，不过我认为，既然说了nearby那可以默认为享受一个共同的人才市场】

In summary, this memorandum lacks certain details so that it turned out to biased and groundless. I have to suspend my credibility about the recommendation until the author provides the following evidence 1) the detailed comparison between the employment of GM and MV (2) the distinctions between two places where two colleges situated. (3)The exact causal relationship between the courses and job counselors and the employment.【第3点最重要，放前面好点】

就像昨天讨论的一样，我觉得有些地方入手点，似乎应该更偏向推论，而攻击对方的论据的真实性可以稍微放放。  ：）