Issu116【07-10G Superstar大帖 7.30 by Huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

TOPIC: ISSUE116 - "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society-including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences-will benefit greatly from international influences."
WORDS: 568          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-7-30

Will every aspect of society definitely benefit from international influence, as the speaker asserts? After consideration I can partially agree that. While I concede that the growth of global network is beneficial in many aspects, there are also some negative effects brought about by it and the situation varies in different fields.

First turn to the field of education. It is easy to see that modern technology in communication has significantly promoted the quality of education recently. By virtue of Internet, students can get any information they need but can not be find in textbooks or their school library. They can also communicate with their peers in other countries and regions, which help them know and step on to get a insight of other cultures better than those courses in classroom. At least talking with some foreigners on Internet by some software such as MSN can promote one's quality of learning foreign language.  With modern communication tools, Chinese students and their Japan counterparts are enabled to communicate directly, which help them to know and understand each culture and consequently the racial conflict declines at the same time. So in my view the net work of communication have great positive influence on education.

Then take a look at politics. Generally speaking, the network has both positive and negative effect on politics and governments all over the world. The positive side lies in that with more ties of trade and common interest, many countries stay closer and cooperate to solve many social problems. To illustrate this I will take China and US for example, with the rapidly increasing trade and economic relationship between the countries, the general relation between US and China steps up to a higher level than ever before. And conflicts in other political aspects have been mitigated significantly, which is beneficial to both the two nations and peoples. Besides, the negative effect of network lies in that modern communication may make certain countries to intervene with other countries' affairs for the interest of source and capital. And the increasing conflict on international trade between companies may often rise to the level of countries, in which developed countries often take advantage on developing countries and the relation between nations is usually greatly influenced. So, when talking about the influence of net work, the negative side can not be ignored when we emphasize positive one.

With respect to arts and sciences, I agree with the speaker that they will benefit with global network but there still exist some exceptions. With modern technology, artists and scientists can communicate with their peers about newest works and developments or ask for help with some problems, which could significantly promote the prosperity of art and science. While, there are some negative influence that we should not forget. For example, many countries' movie industry drops to a dangerous condition because of the impact of HOOLWOOD movies, which may not be a good thing to most nations. It means that those talented movie actors and actress may face great difficulty to show their talents in their own nations, and are forced to pursue their careers aboard.  So, in general, global network benefit the arts and sciences while in some cases hamper the development of arts in many countries.  

To sum up, the speaker's claim has merit in those four fields I mentioned above. But the speaker fails to take into account some exceptions that the global network may have negative effects. After all the positive side surpass the negative one.

laura001UID: 2295927

TOPIC: ISSUE116 - "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society-including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences-will benefit greatly from international influences."
WORDS: 568          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-7-30

Will every aspect of society definitely benefit from international influence, as the speaker asserts? After consideration I can partially agree that. While I concede that the growth of global network is beneficial in many aspects, there are also some negative effects brought about by it and the situation varies in different fields. 最好的开头或结尾能说具体点,比如在什么方面是有利,什么地方有害. 你 结尾和开头说的很泛.

First turn to the field of education. It is easy to see that modern technology in communication has significantly promoted the quality of education recently. By virtue of Internet, students can get any information they need but can not be find in textbooks or their school library. They can also communicate with their peers in other countries and regions, which help them know and step on to get a insight of other cultures better than those courses in classroom. At least talking with some foreigners on Internet by some software such as MSN can promote one's quality of learning foreign language.  With modern communication tools, Chinese students and their Japan counterparts are enabled to communicate directly, which help them to know and understand each culture and consequently the racial conflict declines at the same time. So in my view the net work of communication have great positive influence on education. 这段不错

Then take a look at politics. Generally speaking, the network has both positive and negative effect on politics and governments all over the world. The positive side lies in that with more ties of trade and common interest, many countries stay closer and cooperate to solve many social problems. To illustrate this I will take China and US(不要缩写) for example, with the rapidly increasing trade and economic relationship between the countries, the general relation between US and China steps up to a higher level than ever before. And conflicts in other political aspects have been mitigated significantly, which is beneficial to both the two nations and peoples. Besides,(后面讲到缺点,是转折的语气把，不是递进吧) the negative effect of network lies in that modern communication may make certain countries to intervene with other countries' affairs for the interest of source and capital. And the increasing conflict on international trade between companies may often rise to the level of countries, in which developed countries often take advantage on developing countries and the relation between nations is usually greatly influenced. So, when talking about the influence of net work, the negative side can not be ignored when we emphasize positive one.

With respect to arts and sciences, I agree with the speaker that they will benefit with global network but there still exist some exceptions. With modern technology, artists and scientists can communicate with their peers about newest works and developments or ask for help with some problems, which could significantly promote the prosperity of art and science. While, there are some negative influence that we should not forget. For example, many countries' movie industry drops to a dangerous condition because of the impact of HOOLWOOD (hollywood)movies, 这个没有说清楚,为什么HOOLYWOOD电影会影响其他国家的电影业呢? 比如大家为了赢利,开始模仿他们的方式,使的自己本国家的特色没有了...具体点)which may not be a good thing to most nations. It means that those talented movie actors and actress may face great difficulty to show their talents in their own nations, and are forced to pursue their careers aboard.  So, in general, global network benefit the arts and sciences while in some cases hamper the development of arts in many countries.  

To sum up, the speaker's claim has merit in those four fields I mentioned above. But the speaker fails to take into account some exceptions that the global network may have negative effects. After all the positive side surpass the negative one.


总体上写还不错呢,加油~继续保持下去,就可以拿高分了呢~

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-7-31 18:34 编辑 ]

desirermimiUID: 2108321

Will every aspect of society definitely benefit from international influence, as the speaker asserts? After consideration I can partially agree that. While I concede that the growth of global network is beneficial in many aspects, there are also some negative effects brought about by it and the situation varies in different fields.

First turn to the field of education. It is easy to see that modern technology in communication has significantly promoted the quality of education recently. By virtue of Internet, students can get any information they need but can not be find in textbooks or their school library. They can also communicate with their peers in other countries and regions, which help them know and step on to get a insight of other cultures better than those courses in classroom. At least talking with some foreigners on Internet by some software such as MSN can promote one's quality of learning foreign language.  With modern communication tools, Chinese students and their Japan counterparts are enabled to communicate directly, which help them to know and understand each culture and consequently the racial conflict declines at the same time. So in my view the net work of communication have great positive influence on education.

Then take a look at politics. Generally speaking, the network has both positive and negative effect on politics and governments all over the world. The positive side lies in that with more ties of trade and common interest, many countries stay closer and cooperate to solve many social problems. To illustrate this I will take China and US for example, with the rapidly increasing trade and economic relationship between the countries, the general relation between US and China steps up to a higher level than ever before. And[At the same time] conflicts in other political aspects have been mitigated significantly, which is beneficial to both the two nations and peoples. Besides, the negative effect of network lies in that modern communication may make certain countries to intervene with[这个例子说spy on窃取信息比较好吧？] other countries' affairs for the interest of source and capital. And the increasing conflict on international trade between companies may often rise to the level of countries, in which developed countries often take advantage on developing countries and the relation between nations is usually greatly influenced. So, when talking about the influence of net work, the negative side can not be ignored when we emphasize positive one.

With respect to arts and sciences, I agree with the speaker that they will benefit with global network but there still exist some exceptions. With modern technology, artists and scientists can communicate with their peers about newest works and developments or ask for help with some problems, which could significantly promote the prosperity of art and science. While, there are some negative influence that we should not forget. For example, many countries' movie industry drops to a dangerous condition because of the impact of HOOLWOOD movies, which may not be a good thing to most nations. It means that those talented movie actors and actress may face great difficulty to show their talents in their own nations, and are forced to pursue their careers aboard.  So, in general, global network benefit the arts and sciences while in some cases hamper the development of arts in many countries.  [这个例子很不错，呵呵]

To sum up, the speaker's claim has merit in those four fields I mentioned above. But the speaker fails to take into account some exceptions that the global network may have negative effects. After all the positive side surpass the negative one.

[小结：对于文章的整体构思，你在三四段采用的是对同一方面边褒边贬，但是我比较偏向于在同一个段落褒，也就是集中于积极的方面，再开一个段落来说消极方面的影响。你的应该是中间路线吧：D我可能只学会了同意或不同意/让步的方法。
整体感觉很不错，加油啊！挺棒的！用词过渡也精妙多了！]