issue11 [0710G ＋U Aug小组] 第8次作业 satanic

SatanicUID: 2362211

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
观点：有保留反对
行文：让步式
/*模版开头*/
/*紧扣world's most persistent social problem：1.right & terrestrial integrity Palestine Israel Jew*/
/*2.环境问题 风沙：灌溉农田 deforesting depasture*/
/*3.诚然，某些问题可以互相学习经验，比如教育*/
/*模版结尾*/
When asked whether it is right to develop a global university in solving the world's most persistent social problems, it is , surely, difficult to arrive to a consensus due to the different experience and conflicting values. As far as i am concerned, although there are lots of experiences on tough social problems for some nations to learn from others, i still hold a negative point on this issue.
First of all, the intrusive problem that disrupting most nations are the national right and terrestrial integrity, which varies from nations and it is almost impossible to develop a global university in the aim of solving it. As many other countries, the headache haunting the Chinese government is the terrestrial integrity problem, caused by Taiwan. As we Chinese know, Taiwan Island is a part of China hundreds of years ago from Ming Dynasty. But due to the history problem from civil war before 1949 and the far-reaching Taiwan strait, the government in Taiwan, especially some leaders in Democracy Party, insist on denying the fact that Taiwan island is a crucial part of China, both in terrestrial and politics. Although the Mainland government hold its unchangeable conclusion that Taiwan Island is one part of China not only in terrestrial but politics, the situation becomes complicated by the swaging attitude from the United States and the disrupting force of Japan. Most nations do not agree to give a united-nation seat for Taiwan, therefore some of them are under the command of the United States. In one word, the problem on national right and terrestrial integrity should not be solved by the global university.
Additionally, the environmental problem is a serious problem for many countries and because of the different reasons, it is unseemly to establish a global university in solving it. The cause of environmental problems varies from countries. That of the United States mainly focuses on the air pollution caused by automobiles and petrol disseminating industry, while the reason in China lies in the deserting -- over pasturing and deforestation.  The economical reasons drive the idle peasants to pasturing on grass land. Sheep and cows devour the grass and the soil is disclosing to surface. The strong wind and even hurricane pull the sand up to the air which causes the sand wind in Beijing. The aggravating sand wind phenomena attracts the government's attention and several suggestions as well as the professional methods are adopted. Different problems happen within different countries. How can the scholars be familiar with the problems of other counties'? And the only way to resolve it is that the government puts much attention on it and receives the suggestion from civilian and professors.
However, I can not draw a presumptuous conclusion that all social problems in a nation should be deal with all by itself. Comparing with the education in the United States, that situation in China is in a primitive state and need much more progress. The administer of the government and teachers in educating can learn a lot of experiences from those in the United States and the progress in China is in our eyes. I cites this example to illustrate that the social problems varies from counties and most them should be resolved by themselves while several ones can learn the experience from outsiders. However, the establishment of a social school is somewhat ridiculous in the situation that the people from other counties are not familiar with the puzzles in ours.
In summary, it is very likely that people are different in background and will never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking into account all the dimensions discussed in the above analysis might be a decisive step out of dilemma.


同事带了几个人来家里又吵又闹。我想骂人，但下不了口，我想骂自己，也下不了口
今天约一MM去逛街，居然拒绝我，很少人拒绝我的 哼
虽然快崩溃，还是写完了，请大家coffee iris斧正
8.1诸事不易 还好过去了



[ 本帖最后由 Satanic 于 2007-8-2 00:06 编辑 ]

icefirekkUID: 2293126

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations shouldhelp support the development of a global university designed to engagestudents in the process of solving the world's most persistent socialproblems."
观点：有保留反对
行文：让步式
/*模版开头*/
/*紧扣world's most persistent social problem：1.right & terrestrial integrity Palestine Israel Jew*/
/*2.环境问题 风沙：灌溉农田 deforesting depasture*/
/*3.诚然，某些问题可以互相学习经验，比如教育*/
/*模版结尾*/
When asked whether it is right todevelop a global university in solving the world's most persistentsocial problems, it is , surely, difficult to arrive to a consensusdue to the different experience and conflicting values. As far as i amconcerned, although there are lots of experiences on tough socialproblems for some nations to learn from others, i still hold a negativepoint on this issue.（开头其实还不错，模板用的好。点明自己的观点是反对意见。）

First of all, the intrusive problemthat disrupting（disrupt) most nations are the national right and terrestrialintegrity, which varies from nations and it is almost impossible todevelop a global university in the aim of solving it. As many othercountries, the headache haunting theChinese government is the terrestrial integrity problem, caused byTaiwan. As we Chinese know, Taiwan Island is a part of China hundredsof years ago from(since) Ming Dynasty. But due to the history problem from civil war before 1949 and the far-reaching(不当，不能根据字面猜词义的） Taiwan strait, the government in Taiwan, especially some leaders in Democracy Party, insist on denying the fact that Taiwan island is a crucial part of China, both in terrestrial and politics. Although the Mainland government hold its unchangeableconclusion that Taiwan Island is one part of China not only interrestrial but politics, the situation becomes complicated by theswaging（我认为应该是swagger这个词吧） attitude from the United States and the disrupting force ofJapan. Most nations do not agree to give a united-nation(United Nations) seat forTaiwan, therefore some of them are under the command of the UnitedStates. In one word, the problem on national right and terrestrialintegrity should not be solved by the global university.  （举例还可以，但能不能顺便提一句别的国家面临的社会问题。比如非洲的饥荒。你说了每个国家有不同的问题侧重，但只举了一个例子：中国的）

Additionally, the environmental problem is a serious problem for many countries and because of the different reasons, it is unseemlyto establish a global university in solving it. The cause ofenvironmental problems varies from countries. That of the United Statesmainly focuses on the air pollution caused by automobiles and petroldisseminating industry, while the reason in China lies in the deserting-- over pasturing（我认为不妥，overgrazing 才是过度放牧的意思。） and deforestation.  The economical reasons drive the idle peasants to pasturing on grass land. Sheep and cows devour the grass and the soil is disclosingto surface. The strong wind and even hurricane pull（blow不是更直接吗） the sand up to theair which causes the sand wind in Beijing. The aggravating sand wind phenomenaattracts the government's attention and several suggestions as well asthe professional methods are adopted. Different problems happen withindifferent countries. How can the scholars be familiar with the problemsof other counties'? And the only way to resolve it is that thegovernment puts much attention on it and receives the suggestion fromcivilian and professors.（例子也充分证明global university的没必要）
However, I can not draw apresumptuous conclusion that all social problems in a nation should bedeal with all by itself. Comparing（compared) with the education in the UnitedStates, that situation in China is in a primitive state and need muchmore progress. The administer of thegovernment and teachers in educating can learn a lot of experiencesfrom those in the United States and the progress in China is in oureyes(?). I cites this example to illustrate that the social problemsvaries from counties and most(of) them should be resolved by themselveswhile several ones can learn the experience from outsiders. However,the establishment of a social school is somewhat ridiculous in thesituation that the people from other counties are not familiar with thepuzzles in ours.(让步使文章更加有效，不是一味的攻击）
In summary, it is very likely thatpeople are different in background and will never be able to arrive atthe same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking intoaccount all the dimensions discussed in the above analysis might be adecisive step out of dilemma.（无任何实质话语啊，不过根据范文来看，好象结尾没有也影响不大。如果你不是赶时间，还是写句象样的，至少扯上主题一句）
所有的论点完整，文章思路也清晰。但关于词汇的运用需注意尽量避免容易出歧义的“自造”的词
用简单的词将意思表达清楚，高档的词汇对分数也许影响不是非常大。

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

When asked whether it is right to develop a global university in solving the world's most persistent social problems, it is , surely, difficult to arrive to a consensus due to the different experience and conflicting values. As far as i am concerned, although there are lots of experiences on tough social problems for some nations to learn from others, i still hold a negative point on this issue.
First of all, the intrusive problem that disrupting[是想说困扰吧，这个词不太恰当] most nations are the national right and terrestrial integrity, which varies from nations and it is almost impossible to develop a global university in the aim of solving it[in the aim of 没见过，搂主制造的？]. As many other countries, the headache haunting the Chinese government is the terrestrial integrity problem, caused by Taiwan. As we Chinese know,[议论文中少用I think, we know 这类的表达] Taiwan Island is a part of China hundreds of years ago from[改成since] Ming Dynasty. But due to the history problem from civil war before 1949 and the far-reaching Taiwan strait[语义不明], the government in Taiwan, especially some leaders in Democracy Party, insist on denying the fact that Taiwan island is a crucial part of China, both in terrestrial and politics. Although the Mainland government hold its unchangeable conclusion that Taiwan Island is one part of China not only in terrestrial but politics, the situation becomes complicated by the swaging attitude from[of] the United States and the disrupting force of Japan. Most nations do not agree to give a united-nation seat for[to] Taiwan, therefore some of them are under the command of the United States[后半句语意不明]. [两句之间最好衔接过渡一下]In one word, the problem on national right and terrestrial integrity should not be solved by the global university.
Additionally, the environmental problem is a serious problem for many countries and because of the different reasons, it is unseemly to establish a global university in solving it. The cause of environmental problems varies from countries. That of the United States mainly focuses on the air pollution caused by automobiles and petrol disseminating industry, while the reason in China lies in the deserting -- over pasturing and deforestation.  The economical reasons drive the idle peasants to pasturing on grass land. Sheep and cows devour the grass and the soil is disclosing to surface. The strong wind and even hurricane pull the sand up to the air which causes the sand wind in Beijing. The aggravating sand wind phenomena attracts the government's attention and several suggestions as well as the professional methods are adopted. Different problems happen within different countries. How can the scholars be familiar with the problems of other counties'? And the only way to resolve it is that the government puts much attention on it and receives the suggestion from civilian and professors.
However, I can not draw a presumptuous conclusion that all social problems in a nation should be deal with all by itself. Comparing with the education in the United States, that situation[明确为education] in China is in a primitive state and need much more progress. The administer of the government and teachers in educating can learn a lot of experiences from those in the United States and the progress in China is in our eyes[中式表达]. I cites this example to illustrate that the social problems varies from counties and most [of] them should be resolved by themselves[在这不能指代国家] while several ones can learn the experience from outsiders. However, the establishment of a social school is somewhat ridiculous in the situation that the people from other counties are not familiar with the puzzles in ours.
In summary, it is very likely that people are different in background and will never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking into account all the dimensions discussed in the above analysis might be a decisive step out of dilemma.
[总评：
正文一矛头直指老美啊，希望判官是个政治温和派。最好在选取例子时避免容易受政治倾向波及的方面。
正文二有比较对比，论证非常充分，如楼上所说，正文一也确实缺个比较。
正文三稍嫌单薄，不过限时的话，也确实难以周全。
建议头尾的模板句式改用一些有实际内容的。]

bbgUID: 2373668

When asked whether it is right to develop a global university in solving the world's most persistent social problems, it is , surely, difficult to arrive to a consensus due to the different experience and conflicting values. As far as i am concerned, although there are lots of experiences on tough social problems for some nations to learn from others, i still hold a negative point on this issue.
First of all, the intrusive problem that disrupting most nations are the national right and terrestrial integrity, which varies from nations and it is almost impossible to develop a global university in the aim of solving it. As many other countries, the headache haunting the Chinese government is the terrestrial integrity problem, caused by Taiwan.( As we Chinese know, Taiwan Island is a part of China hundreds of years ago from Ming Dynasty. But due to the history problem from civil war before 1949 and the far-reaching Taiwan strait, the government in Taiwan, especially some leaders in Democracy Party, insist on denying the fact that Taiwan island is a crucial part of China, both in terrestrial and politics. )--->[Due to Chinaese civil war in 1949 and the far-reaching(?) distance issue, Taiwan,a traditional inner domain of China, has become the more and more indeterminable and unsafty region ,because of the present so-called goverment ,particularly some leader in XX. 觉得这么写好些，反正这个例子用了见光死，除非是大陆去的移民后代]Although the Mainland government hold its unchangeable conclusion that Taiwan Island is one part of China not only in terrestrial but politics, the situation becomes complicated by the swaging attitude from the United States and the disrupting force of Japan. Most nations do not agree to give a united-nation seat for Taiwan, therefore some of them are under the command of the United States. In one word, the problem on national right and terrestrial integrity should not be solved by the global university.
[中间首段举例有些controversial, 实在想写这类的可以写科威特和伊拉克阿，那个写了肯定加分，而且论点有争议，no evidence to prove that the global persistant society problem is about nation right and terristrial integrity,not objective]


Additionally, the environmental problem is a serious problem for many countries and because of the different reasons, it is unseemly to establish a global university in solving it. The cause of environmental problems varies from countries. That of the United States mainly focuses on the air pollution caused by automobiles and petrol disseminating industry, while the reason in China lies in the deserting -- over pasturing and deforestation.  The economical reasons drive the idle peasants to pasturing on grass land. Sheep and cows devour the grass and the soil is disclosing to surface. The strong wind and even hurricane pull the sand up to the air which causes the sand wind in Beijing. The aggravating sand wind phenomena attracts the government's attention and several suggestions as well as the professional methods are adopted. Different problems happen within different countries. How can the scholars be familiar with the problems of other counties'? And the only way to resolve it is that the government puts much attention on it and receives the suggestion from civilian and professors.
However, I can not draw a presumptuous conclusion that all social problems in a nation should be deal with all by itself. Comparing with the education in the United States, that situation in China is in a primitive state and need much more progress. The administer of the government and teachers in educating can learn a lot of experiences from those in the United States and the progress in China is in our eyes. I cites this example to illustrate that the social problems varies from counties and most them should be resolved by themselves while several ones can learn the experience from outsiders. However, the establishment of a social school is somewhat ridiculous in the situation that the people from other counties are not familiar with the puzzles in ours.
[Do evironment events be belong to the society events or link with it?]
In summary, it is very likely that people are different in background and will never be able to arrive at the same conclusion on this controversial issue. However, taking into account all the dimensions discussed in the above analysis might be a decisive step out of dilemma.

personal idea:
1. not objective, 个人觉得大而范比较安全，society problem is hard to define and the influence of ideology distinguish is sensitive
2. 举例比较controversial and dangerous
3.no keen viewpoint to distill your argument.
我也是鲜虾，很关心这个文章可以打几分？