argument28【07-10G Superstar大帖】8月5日作文by huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

OPIC: ARGUMENT28 - The following is a memo from the superintendent of the Mylar school district.

"A recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Clearly, eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. It is also well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. Therefore, in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide breakfasts for all students before each school day."
WORDS: 409          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-8-5

In this argument the memo suggests that breakfasts should be offered to all students before each school day. To get support the memo cites the result of a recent study. However, after scrutiny I find the suggestion unconvincing due to a few flaws.

Firstly, the suggestion rests on the conclusion that offering breakfasts to students may reduce the absenteeism and being late for school. However, the study can not prove the assumption due to lack of more detail information about the students who take part in the plan. It is possible that students who join the plan are those who work hard and usually less likely to be late or absent, if so, then the result of study makes little sense. So, unless the memo provides more evidence to justify that offering breakfasts can reduce absenteeism, I can not be convinced that the suggestion is effective if carried out.

Secondly, the writer draws a false causal relationship between eating healthful breakfast and better performance in school. The memo offers no evidence to prove this relationship. For that matter, maybe students who eat healthful breakfasts are just those who wake up early, work hard and thus are less likely to absent from school. This, if true, can diminish the assumption that healthful breakfasts are responsible for the better performance. So, unless the memo consider and rule out other possible reasons that contribute to better performance, the memo can not convince me that the suggestion can promote performance in school.

Thirdly, the memo gets to the suggestion with too narrow consideration. Even if it is proved that offering breakfast can reduce absenteeism and promote performance of students in elementary schools, no evidence has been give to prove that the measure is also applicable to secondary school students. Differences between the schools may rend the measure ineffective in secondary schools. Moreover, the writer fails to take into consideration that whether the plan will be popular in students, if students resist the plan, then the suggestion is merely a poor advice.

To sum up, because of a few flaws the memo fails to convince me that the suggestion can promote performance and reduce absenteeism.  To better support it the writer needs to provide more evidence that the conclusion of the study is reliable, and that eating healthy breakfast lead to better performance in schools. Moreover, evidence that the plan will be popular and applicable to all schools is also needed.

lijiesteveUID: 2456610

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