Issue208 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组】第九次作业

doris_gxcUID：2370933

1. The appearance and behavior of individuals can reflect their attitudes and interests to some degree.
exception: restrain by occasion
引出 reflect society standard（物质层）
2. Similarly…（个性反映共性，从个性能够体现共性）(因为社会影响个人)
individual’s values can reflect consensus
对Bill Gates等人的崇拜体现美国社会的价值观
对Confucius的尊崇体现中国的ethic
3. In fact, formation of a society is due to the common places embedded in most of its members. （更深入地说，共性源于个性）

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 493          TIME: 01:17:00          DATE: 2007-8-8 12:36:21

The appearance and behavior of individuals could reflect the ideas and values of a society because personal attitudes revealed from their outlook and act has strong correlations with the social consensus. Individuals' ideas may illustrate the common sense and the society is formed through those influences of individuals in return.

To begin with, the appearance and behavior of individual can reflect their attitudes to some degree. Those who dress in fashion wearing could be open and easy to accept new ideas; those who looks unchanged everyday might be stubborn or lack of creativity; and those who only do what they like may cherish freedom to a considerable extend. Stemmed from the fact that the choices on these dresses and actions are made under the decision from the personal attitudes towards life and the outside world, there should be no doubt to say people's ideas can be inferred from their appearance and behavior. Nevertheless, under certain social restriction that must be obeyed, people's real interests can not be told from appearance. For example, in those formal occasion people must wear formal dresses, no matter how strongly one loves T-shirt and jeans. Thus the common idea of what to wear in those occasions can be reflected from each one' wearing.

Similarly, individuals' values can reflect consensus. The American dream can strongly support this point. Bill Gates is well known to everyone may not due to his personal enchantment but people's firmly belief that one can succeed from his own efforts. The admiration of Bill Gates thus could show the society's value in America. Quite different, Chinese's morality can be concluded from people's respect of Confucius. The personal agreements on Confucius's ideas actually compose the social ideas of China. Therefore the values of a society could be told by the understanding of individuals' attitudes and morality standards which are prove to have certain possibilities to be revealed from their appearance and behavior.

In fact, formation of a society is due to the common places embedded in most of its members. Since the consensus represents the ideas of majority, no wonder individuals' values can reflect common sense. An event on history could be taken to illustrate the essence of social idea. Before the Mayflower reached Plymouth that is far from their original planed destination, all the adults gather in the cabin, signed their names on the Mayflower Compact for the same dream they owned. Hence the ideas belong to each of the adults on the ship became the consensus and latterly the values of their society. From this instance, it could be clarified that society’s value is derived from individuals’ attitudes and therefore it can be reflected from personal interests.

In the conclusion, society’s ideas and values can be found from members’ appearances and behaviors because of two premises. One is that personal attitudes can be revealed from their dress and act, and the other is the fact that those common values are formed from individuals’ ideas.

SavileRowUID：2284947

The appearance and behavior of individuals could reflect the ideas and values of a society because personal attitudes revealed from their outlook and act has strong correlations with the social consensus（我觉得这个词用得不是很准确，是想表达“社会大多数人的思想”这个意思？）. Individuals' ideas may illustrate the common sense and the society is formed through those influences of individuals in return.
第一句话和第二句话之间的关系是什么？并列？递进？解释？如果有个关联词连接，关系会更明确些。如果快速浏览过去只能看出第一句和第二句是差不多的，因为关键词不突出。要仔细看了之后才粪便出第一句是对题目的回应，第二句是表明个人观点。如果能明确的用一个短语或句式强烈的暗示读者我要摆明观点了效果会好些。

To begin with, the appearance and behavior of individual can reflect their attitudes to some degree. Those who dress （加个themselves，dress及物） in fashion wearing could be open and easy to accept new ideas; those who looks unchanged everyday might be stubborn or lack of creativity; and those who only do what they like may cherish freedom to a considerable extend. Stemmed from the fact that the choices on these dresses（作为表示衣物的体名词，clothes或者attire更恰当些，dress偏向女装） and actions are made under the decision from the personal attitudes towards life and the outside world, there should be no doubt to say people's ideas can be inferred from their appearance and behavior. Nevertheless, under certain social restriction that must be obeyed, people's real interests can not be told from appearance. For example, in those formal occasion（复数） people must wear formal dresses（同前）, no matter how strongly one loves T-shirt and jeans. Thus the common idea of what to wear in those occasions can be reflected from each one' wearing.最后一句话我不是很理解，它跟前面一句怎么构成因果关系？举反例的时候只写了衣着方面，如果再点出在正式场合行为受到抑制这一点，就更能跟正面例子相对。

Similarly, individuals' values can reflect consensus.The American dream can strongly support this point. Bill Gates is well known to everyone may not due to his personal enchantment but people's firmly belief that one can succeed from his own efforts. The admiration of Bill Gates thus could show the society's value in America. Quite different, Chinese's morality can be concluded from people's respect of Confucius. The personal agreements on Confucius's ideas actually compose the social ideas of China. Therefore the values of a society could be told by the understanding of individuals' attitudes and morality standards which are prove to have certain possibilities to be revealed from their appearance and behavior.
第一个例子：美国梦和Gates什么联系？没点出来。这样举例的引导句子和例子之间就脱节了。
这一段的第二个例子：对儒家的推崇具体反映了中国人的什么价值观？没写明白，这样论证力量就不够强，要摆出来儒家思想是什么，中国人价值观是什么，读者两相对比，才能自然得出结论——对儒家的推崇体现了中国人的价值观。
总体来说，我觉得这一段的例子不怎么恰当，或者说和分论点不是很关联。分论点是说个人体现社会，而两个例子中的崇拜行为都已经是群体性社会性的了，无所谓个人和社会的关系。

In fact（如果要表达“更深入”的意思，deep down更合适些）, formation of a society is due to the common places embedded in most of its members. Since the consensus represents the ideas of majority, no wonder individuals' values can reflect common sense. An event on history could be taken to illustrate the essence of social idea. Before the Mayflower reached Plymouth that is far from their original planed destination, all the adults gather in the cabin, signed their names on the Mayflower Compact for the same dream they owned. Hence the ideas belong to each of the adults on the ship became the consensus and latterly the values of their society. From this instance, it could be clarified that society’s value is derived from individuals’ attitudes and therefore it can be reflected from personal interests.
例子的表述不是很到位，因为除开本段最后一句话不看，我所读到的就是：个人价值观一致――全船价值观一致――全社会价值观一致，没有体现出社会价值如何从个人价值提炼出来这个思想。而且五月花公约里具体体现了什么价值，没有点出来。
可能是我理解能力不行，我没看懂Since the consensus represents the ideas of majority, no wonder individuals' values can reflect common sense.这句话：民意代表的是大多数人的思想，因此个人价值观反映共性也就不足为奇了？单纯这句话而没有进一步论述和解释，我对这个分论点不能接受。如果加上进一步论述来支撑这个论点后再引用例子，可能会效果好些。

In the conclusion, society’s ideas and values can be found from members’ appearances and behaviors because of two premises. One is that personal attitudes can be revealed from their dress and act, and the other is the fact that those common values are formed from individuals’ ideas.
结尾有些弱了，如果再加上一句对文章论述进行拔高的话会更好些。

总体来说，优点我就不细数了，挺多。
值得改进的地方我认为有：
1 对例子的表述
2 论述的发展和支撑，尤其体现在第3点论点

[ 本帖最后由 SavileRow 于 2007-8-9 20:18 编辑 ]

doris_gxcUID：2370933

感动ing～
努力改！