Argument200 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组】第九次作业

doris_gxcUID：2370933

1.调查不可信
2. faint do not necessarily indicate distress
3.广告无效

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 400         TIME: 00:45:04          DATE: 2007-8-8 15:35:07

Before suggesting on what to advertise the author should clarify the factors that affect on choosing dentists. Moreover the assumption that men suffer more pains than women is based a doubtable  statistics about the times of faint without giving sufficient evidence on the causation of distress and faint.

To begin with, the times people faint at the dentists may not necessarily indicate the degree they suffered from distressing. It is possible that women may feel more pain but they do not easily faint until the feels strengthening to certain extend. In addition, men seem more likely to faint may not due to they are afraid of distress. It could be a kind of chemical substances in their body that led to this phenomenon. Therefore the assumption that faint stems from distress stands on nothing.

In fact, the statistics itself is fallacious. Since the total number of the men and women who has been to dentist has not been provided, the compare of the two genders is inconclusive. If the sum of men who go to dentist is larger than women, the three times faint should be attributed to that total number rather than the assumption that men get easier to faint. Thus the statistics could be unreliable.

Finally, the suggestion on advertising is arguable. The focus group, men, mention by the author may not believe those advertisement, or they hardly notice those advertising. Hence, the advertising focus on men may not be effective even if men are the right group they should target on. Besides, the contents of the adverting recommended by the author are controversial as well. The sensitivity of their stuff to nervous or suffering patients means nothing, since the discerning of those who feel pain could not relieve them. Actually, the main factors a patient care about may be excluded from those contents. Their choices may depend on the cleanness of the clinic, friendliness of the dentists, or even facility of the parking. Therefore, the effectiveness of the advertising strategy is groundless.

In sum, the fact that faint happened among men is three times more than women can not cause me believe men suffer more distress, unless evidence can prove the causation and the reliable of the statistic could be assured. What is more, the author needs to do a research on the factors that affect people’s choice on dentists to make his suggestion on advertising persuasive.

SavileRowUID：2284947

Before suggesting on what to advertise the author should clarify the factors that affect on(可以去掉，affect及物) choosing dentists. Moreover the assumption that men suffer more pains（pain，复数是The pangs of childbirth.或Great care or effort:的意思） than women is based （加on）a （去掉）doubtable  statistics about the times of faint without giving(given?) sufficient evidence on the causation of distress and faint.

To begin with, the times people faint at the dentists may not necessarily indicate the degree they suffered from distressing. （是不是应该加一句“缺乏相关证据”之类的话？缺乏支持作者观点的证据，这样才能展开推论法进行反驳）It is possible that women may feel more pain but they do not easily faint until the feels strengthening to certain extend. In addition, men seem more likely to faint may not due to they are afraid of distress. It could be a kind of chemical substances in their body that led to this phenomenon. Therefore the assumption that faint stems from distress stands on nothing.
从我看的那个中文翻译版本来看three times more men than women fain这句话翻译成 昏倒的男性比女性多三倍，是指人数而不是次数。

In fact, the statistics itself（themselves，前一个词是复数形式） is fallacious. Since the total number of the men and women who has been to dentist has not been provided, the compare of the two genders is inconclusive. If the sum of men who go to dentist is larger than women, the three times faint should be attributed to that total number rather than the assumption that men get easier to faint. Thus the statistics could be unreliable.
错误不在于数据本身，而在于作者没有在充分交待调查其他数据的情况下作出推论。

Finally, the suggestion on advertising is arguable. （加一句总述“广告定位人群值得商榷”的句子比较好）The focus group, men, mention（mentioned） by the author may not believe those advertisement, or they hardly notice those advertising. Hence, the advertising focus on men may not be effective even if men are the right group they should target on. Besides, the contents of the adverting recommended by the author are controversial as well. The sensitivity of their stuff to nervous or suffering patients means nothing, since the discerning of those who feel pain could not relieve them（这个them是指代痛还是人？relieve的宾语一般不是人）. Actually, the main factors a patient care about may be excluded from those contents. Their choices may depend on the cleanness of the clinic, friendliness of the dentists, or even facility of the parking. Therefore, the effectiveness of the advertising strategy is groundless.
这一段的论述最充分，比其他两段要好。

In sum, the fact that faint happened among men is three times more than women can not cause（这个词不怎么准确吧，make好些） me believe men suffer more distress, unless evidence can prove the causation and the reliable of the statistic could be assured. What is more, the author needs to do a research on the factors that affect people’s choice on dentists to make his suggestion on advertising persuasive.

[ 本帖最后由 SavileRow 于 2007-8-9 20:20 编辑 ]