CRACK 9T小组第十八次作业---lizzy

lizzy1986UID: 2281654

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.

I prefer to live in university dormitories even if I have an alternative choice to live in the spacious apartments in the community.

Primarily, providing that I live in university dormitories it's much more convenient for me to go to classroom. As we all know, in university, some popular lectures or seminars are too fascinating to get a seat, therefore we have to arrive in the classroom as early as possible in order to occupy a space in the crowd. If we live in the on-campus rooms, it enables us arrive the classroom in less time. Time and energy are saved for us.

Also, compared with off-campus whose security is responsible for the police maybe several miles away, the on-campus dormitories are safer. An example can serve to illustrate my point. My sister used to live in an apartment in the community alone on account of its spacious room and location which is close to some entertainment clubs. At a midnight last month, a thief broke into her apartment quietly without being noticed and stole my sister's laptop computer away. The same thing is barely possible to occur in the college dormitories. On one hand, even if one person is sleeping deeply, there's no chance that his or her roommate cannot be aware of something unusual. On the other hand, the patrol police is on duty for 24 hours every day in order to inhibit any possible disturbances.

Admittedly, some might argue that the apartment in the community is advantageous in owning privacy, gaining a quiet atmosphere, and the like. Nevertheless, since the chief function of university is preparing us for the society and learning how to find balance between cooperation and competition, the advantages of living in college outweigh those of living outside.

In sum, I prefer to live in university dormitories as the reasons mentioned above: its convenience of attending various lectures or seminars in time, its relatively safe circumstance and its usefulness in improving my cooperative spirits and competition sense.

照例，小星GG踢两脚，小宝踢三脚，组长和兔子DD虽然不是故意的顶了贴子就要踢一脚。累。谢谢组长修改。;d:

[ 本帖最后由 lizzy1986 于 2007-8-20 21:18 编辑 ]

小马家家UID: 2247022

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:o

Tony.kUID: 2181670

;)

Tony.kUID: 2181670

这可是小山你自己说的啊,那我谴责了:o 咳咳

lizzy1986UID: 2281654

小星GG你真素个不HD的人

还有楼上的小宝和兔子DD……汗……我马上看集HOUSE就写

leadenskyUID: 2251888

开始我看到回复5，以为已经被N个人改过了，我可以不用改了
结果。。。

leadenskyUID: 2251888

I prefer to live in university dormitories even if I have an alternative choice to live in the spacious apartments in the community.
第一段就一句话？

Primarily, providing that I live in university dormitories it's much more convenient for me to go to classroom. As we all know, in university, some popular lectures or seminars are too fascinating(我觉得attractive更合适) to get a seat, therefore we have to arrive in the classroom as early as possible in order to occupy a space in the crowd(尽可能的早去还是只能站着上课？是否有点夸张). If we live in the on-campus rooms, it enables(helps) us arrive the classroom in less time. Time and energy are saved for us.

Also, compared with off-campus whose security is responsible for the police maybe several miles away, the on-campus dormitories are safer. An example can serve to illustrate my point. My sister used to live in an apartment in the community alone on account of its spacious room and location which is close to some entertainment clubs. At a midnight last month, a thief broke into her apartment quietly without being noticed and stole my sister's laptop computer away. (来点过渡)The same thing is barely possible to occur in the college dormitories. On one hand, even if one person is sleeping deeply, there's no chance that his or her roommate cannot be aware of something unusual. On the other hand, the patrol police is on duty for 24 hours every day in order to inhibit any possible disturbances.(on one hand 和on the other hand感觉出现的好突然，只是2个简单的理由在这里不合适)

Admittedly, some might argue that the apartment in the community is advantageous in owning(maintaining) privacy, gaining a quiet atmosphere, and the like. Nevertheless, since the chief function of university is preparing us for the society and learning how to find balance between cooperation and competition, the advantages of living in college outweigh those of living outside.

In sum, I prefer to live in university dormitories as the reasons mentioned above: its convenience of attending various lectures or seminars in time, its relatively safe circumstance(environment) and its usefulness(helpfulness) in improving my cooperative spirits and competition sense.

整体来说很不错，层次清楚，观点明确，用词比较丰富，只是有点小问题。

yeren7722UID: 2297829

顶一下...;d:

lizzy1986UID: 2281654

谢谢组长修改。师兄你也跑来捣乱了。

westlifezsUID: 2141777

嗯，写的不错，原来只举一个例子也可以的。。。恍然大悟

lizzy1986UID: 2281654

汗……谢谢厚爱……居然分页了……T版人气真素高……

Tony.kUID: 2181670

结尾有些生硬,是不是受了argue的影响?

lizzy1986UID: 2281654

恩,前段练习的时候都没有写结尾,突然加上有些不习惯,明晚写的时候注意一些
倒是我的开头,小星GG有没有觉得太简短了,需要加几句话不?

谢谢小星GG每次都看我的作文;d:

Tony.kUID: 2181670

我是习惯开头结尾完完整整的,不过这个因人而易啦.
不过你这个也...太开门见山了...
建议看点范文找找写开头感觉