Argument170 Spring－第三次作业

shanxinhpUID: 2311857

Argument 170
For the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oyster from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. This trend began shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters. But scientists have now devised a process for killing the bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters. But scientists have now devised a process for killing the bacteria. Once consumers are made aware of the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are likely to be willing to pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters, and greater profits for Gulf Coast oyster producers will follow.
word:520          time:1 hour

In this argument, the arguer recommends that once consumers are made aware of increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters by scientist devised a process for killing the bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters, they should pay for Gulf Coast oysters as the same price as Atlantic oysters, thus take greater profits for Gulf Coast oysters producers. This recommendation is based on the observation that consumers in California willing to pay twice as much for oysters form northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters due to harmful bacteria were found in a few row Gulf Coast oysters.

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation relies is that customers willing to buy Atlantic oysters at higher price because of there are harmful bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters. However, the auger provided no information about the other difference between oysters from two areas. It is true that Gulf Coast oysters contain less bacteria than before by following a process, but there may exist fundamental different between oysters come from two area: comparing with Gulf Coast oysters, ones from Atlantic is much more delicious, or have a good look, there are other factors impact consumer tend. What is more, as we know people tend is the decisive factor, and consumers in Californian is tend to such taste regardless of price. Without accounting for these and other possible factors impact consumers’ incline to assume people will be incline to Gulf Coast oysters is unreasonable.

Even assuming that consumer inclined to Atlantic Coast oysters are attributable to the harmful bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters, the assumption that a process for killing these bacteria ban be efficient, It is true that this method is efficient on certain bacteria have been found out, but may be helpless to handle other bacteria which may be more harmful and have not been discovered, once these bacteria are found we cannot promise the similar thing happen. Since the argument fails to rule out this and other alternation explanation we cannot get conclusion. Furthermore, the auger overlooked an important factor that predisposition have been formatted and may go along with people not only five or seven years but through one’s life, it could not be rectified by a reported that a process can kill the bacteria. They may conserve prejudice and remind themselves this brand is harmful.

Furthermore, even consumers turn to buy Gulf Coast oysters, the assumption that Gulf Coast oyster producers will get greater profits is unreasonable, for it is entirely possible that the cost of Gulf Coast oysters may increase greater than ever before because of this new process for killing bacteria which was devised by scientists. In the process of research, adding machines and workers in killing bacteria through product oysters require external fund, it is entirely possible that profit they get from new oysters is counteracted or even descend. So we cannot predict the profit can increase.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands, to strengthen it the argument’s proponent must provide evidence that other factors affecting Gulf Coast oysters sales declined, what is more, one should make plans based on individual condition, however before any final decision are made we should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes.

hongdanUID: 2228730

In this argument, the arguer recommends that once consumers are made aware of increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters by scientist devised a process for killing the bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters（这与前面联系不上）, they should pay for Gulf Coast oysters as the same price as Atlantic oysters,（加上and）thus take greater profits for Gulf Coast oysters producers. This recommendation is based on the observation that consumers in California （加上are）willing to pay twice as much for oysters form northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters due to harmful bacteria were found in a few row Gulf Coast oysters.

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation relies is that customers（加上are） willing to buy Atlantic oysters at higher price because of there are harmful bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters. However, the auger provided no information about the other difference between oysters from two areas. It is true that Gulf Coast oysters contain less bacteria than before by following a process, but there may exist fundamental different（differences）between oysters come(coming) from two area(areas): comparing with Gulf Coast oysters, ones from Atlantic is much more delicious, or have a good look, there are other factors impact consumer tend. What is more, as we know people tend is the decisive factor, and consumers in Californian is tend to such taste regardless of price. Without accounting for these and other possible factors impact consumers’ incline to assume people will be incline to Gulf Coast oysters is unreasonable.

Even assuming that consumer inclined to Atlantic Coast oysters are（is） attributable to the harmful bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters, the assumption that a process for killing these bacteria ban be efficient(这句话连不上), It is true that this method is efficient on certain bacteria have been found out, but may be helpless to handle other bacteria which may be more harmful and have not been discovered, once these bacteria are found we cannot promise the similar thing happen. Since the argument fails to rule out this and other alternation explanation we cannot get conclusion. Furthermore, the auger overlooked an important factor that predisposition have been formatted and may go along with people not only five or seven years but through one’s life, it could not be rectified by a reported that a process can kill the bacteria. They may conserve prejudice and remind themselves this brand is harmful.

Furthermore, even consumers turn to buy Gulf Coast oysters, the assumption that Gulf Coast oyster producers will get greater profits is unreasonable, for it is entirely possible that the cost of Gulf Coast oysters may increase greater than ever before because of this new process for killing bacteria which was devised by scientists. In the process of research, adding machines and workers in killing bacteria through product oysters require external fund, it is entirely possible that profit they get from new oysters is counteracted or even descend. So we cannot predict the profit can increase.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands, to strengthen it the argument’s proponent must provide evidence that other factors affecting Gulf Coast oysters sales declined, what is more, one should make plans based on individual condition, however before any final decision（decisions） are made we should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes.
感觉全文的语法错误比较多，语言表达的不是很清楚。建议楼主多看看范文。
整篇文章的主要逻辑错误已经找出，觉得有些句式稍加变化本文能更好的。
一起多看看范文，一起加油吧。