Argument241【0806G-Sunbird小组】第7次作业

alicia0530UID: 2152226

写的脑子有点乱，虽然注意语言不要乱七八糟，估计还是有很大的问题呃。写到最后都没有逻辑了，结构就更不用说了。唯一好的就是时间又少了五分钟，哎，还是没法半个小时搞定，太恐怖了。

谢谢大家，帮我提提意见哈。。。

Argument 241
The following appeared in a memo at the XYZ company.
'When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating resumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine.'

Date: Nov.28, 2007    Time: 55min     Words: 630

The conclusion generated from the memo at the XYZ company claims that the XYZ company should continue to pay for Delany Personnel Firm to help with the workers they laid off to find a job efficiently.  With several examples the memo listed aiming at clarify its perspective on choosing Delany Personnel Firm, which I found rather plausible and futile, the memo failed to found a solid argument for bolster its choice.

The memo begins with the narration that "laid-off employees found jobs much more quickly last year by using Delany than those who did not".  With this situation put forward, the author tries to claim the efficacy of Delany of handling the job hunting requirements. Whereas, the author fails to realize that the premise of employees with different working backgrounds call for the various job vacancies, which, most of the time, would not be available for all to be settled.  Maybe a certain kind of workers would be demanded, while others are not in a shortage of.  Or rather, the time for unemployed people to find a satisfied job varies, for the reason that probably some are not so urged to find a job as soon as possible.

Then the memo mentions the proposal of using the less-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm instead of Delany should be abandoned, for the reason that Walsh helped only half of the workers unemployed to find a job within a year eight years ago.  Since eight years is such a long period from now on, whether this example could be persuasive enough is unknown.  Then, "half of the unemployed" is mentioned as a relative number whereas the possibility of the absolute number of unemployed workers Walsh have helped with solving the jobs' hunting is much larger than any company did at that time.  There may be other exceptions such as the changes of social requirement of a certain series of skilled workers, or rather the employment of there laid-off workers are more likely to find their suitable jobs year after.

By the third memoir the author tries to present is that Delany has a bigger staff and larger number of branch offices, which could guarantee its service for its clients when comparing with Walsh.  This time the author intends to emphasize the perspective that large scale of the company as the pledge of a better working efficiency.  Simply put, the working efficiency has nothing to do with the scale of the agency, but the impact of pushing much more number of unemployed workers to get employed with the help of the agency. Thus, even the company with a smaller scale could sovle more hiring problems with the laid-off workers, the company should be recommended without doubt.

Last but not least, the memo presents the last aspect that the Delany's clients took less time than the Walsh's to find job, in order to announce the efficacy of Delany's work.  However, the author fails to consider the premises of this phenomenon.  Consider there may be some circumstances, for instance, the time for the unemployed to find a suitable job is much more related with their working experiences, the working abilities, the workers' expectations on certain jobs, and also the social requirement of a certain period or working realm, etc.  Otherwise, whether the unemployed are in a hurry to find a job is not presented, either.  Thereby, the author fails to discover the omitted premise which sustains the conclusions argued about.

To better present this perspective of whether to choose the Delany for the laid-off workers, the author should give out a more detailed research of the explicit number of employed workers; and also materials of the two companies' records with job hunting during much longer period are required for a further accurate comparison.

liouvilleUID: 2412940

The conclusion generated from(in) the memo at the XYZ company claims that the XYZ company should continue to pay for Delany Personnel Firm to(for) helpingwith the workers they laid off to find a job efficiently.  With several examples (evidences seems better) the memo listed aiming at clarifying its perspective on choosing Delany Personnel Firm, which I found rather plausible and futile, the memo failed to found a solid argument for(to) bolster its choice.The memo begins with the narration that "laid-off employees found jobs much more quickly last year by using Delany than those who did not".  With this situation put forward, the author tries to claim the efficacy of Delany of handling the job hunting requirements. Whereas, the author fails to realize that the premise of employees with different working backgrounds call for the various job vacancies, which, most of the time, would not be available for all to be settled.  Maybe a certain kind of workers would be demanded, while others are not in a shortage of.  Or rather, the proper time for unemployed people to find a satisfied job varies, for the reason that probably some are not so urged to find a job as soon as possible. (Precluding the working background, you can mention the intrinsic skill ability differences between them)Then the memo mentions the proposal of using the less-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm instead of Delany should be abandoned, for the reason that Walsh helped only half of the workers unemployed to find a job within a year eight years ago.  Since eight years is such a long period from now on, whether this example could be persuasive enough is unknown (here you can have a in-depth analysis, like the employment situation eight years ago).  Then, "half of the unemployed" is mentioned as a relative number whereas the possibility of(that) the absolute number of unemployed workers Walsh have helped with solving the jobs' hunting is much larger than that of any other company did at that time(great point, I did not find out it in my argument).  There may be other exceptions such as the changes of social requirement of a certain series of skilled workers, or rather the employment of there laid-off workers are more likely to find their suitable jobs year after. (The author also forgot to mention the performance of Delany to have a comparison)By the third memoir (what does this word mean here?) the author tries to present is that Delany has a bigger staff and larger number of branch offices, which could guarantee its service for its clients when comparing with Walsh.  This time the author intends to emphasize the perspective that larger scale of the company as (is or means) the pledge of a better working efficiency.  Simply put(I have seen this phrase before but I do not the meaning of it), the working efficiency has nothing to do with the scale of the agency, but the impact of (I think you want to say “不用说”， if it is, this expression is not good, you can try “let alone”) pushing much more number of unemployed workers to get employed with the help of the agency. Thus, even(if only) the company with a smaller scale could solve more hiring problems with(for) the laid-off workers, the company should be recommended without doubt.Last but not least, the memo presents the last aspect that the Delany's clients took less average time than the Walsh's to find jobslast year, in order to announce the efficacy of Delany's work.  However, the author fails to consider the premises of this phenomenon.  Considering there may be some circumstances, for instance, the time(the success rate) for the unemployed to find a suitable job is much more related with their working experiences, the working abilities, the workers' expectations on certain jobs, and also the social requirement of a certain period or working realm, etc.  Otherwise, whether the unemployed are in a hurry to find a job is not presented, either.  Thereby, the author fails to discover the omitted premise which sustains the conclusions argued about. (Good analysis)To better present this perspective of whether to choose the Delany for the laid-off workers, the author should give out a more detailed research of(on) the explicit number of employed workers; and also detailed materials of the two companies' records with job hunting during much longer period are required for a further accurate comparison.


这篇文章还是挺不错的，我能看到的就是列出来的这些问题了。