快考了，求拍！Issue207—Spring 第七次作业

dairuxin512UID: 2178329

Issue 207
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.
字数：520  用时：1小时

I agree with the speaker that rituals and ceremonies, as special cultural heritage, are able to identify culture. However, in my view the initial purpose of rituals and ceremonies are not for cultural identity but for spiritual belief. Moreover, the speaker overlooks alternative forms can also stand for a culture.

At first, rituals and ceremonies are both important cultural heritage that are representative a unique culture and any races of people all have a basic psychological to possess identity group. Native American tribes, for example, cling tenaciously to their traditional rituals and ceremonies. In order to preserve these tribal heritages, they have struggled against assimilation, even extinction, at the hand of European intruders for more than 500 years. And an outward display of traditional customs and distinct heritages to put the world on notice that each tribe is a distinct and autonomous people, with unique culture, values and ideas. Moreover, when people usually travel to some regions or countries, what they hope to watch first are those special rituals and ceremonies which are typical in the regions or countries, and at the same time, people in these regions are devoted to preserve their traditional customs not only for attracting more travelers, but more importantly for identify themselves.

Nevertheless, preserving cultural identity is not the only purpose of ritual and ceremony. From my observation, even in previous time with less assimilation, people of various races insist on their special rituals and ceremonies, which seem more complex and formal than today. In fact, the initial purpose of ritual and ceremony is rooted not for cultural identity but rather for superstition and spiritual belief. These spiritual hopes reflect on a serious behavior prayer, such as for a favorable weather condition to bring bountiful harvests, to frighten away evil spirits, or to entreat the gods for a family member’s safe back or for victory in battle. Even today some primitive cultures engage in rituals mainly for such reasons, like Chinese bride holding an apple in wedding to guarantee happiness life, or burring dead people in a place surrounding with rivers and hills to denote dead people would lead a better life in another world.

Nor are ritual and ceremony the only means of preserving cultural identity. For example, some western races, like Hasidic Jews, set themselves apart from others by their dress and dietary habits. Or some African tribes distinguish themselves today by their manner of speech and gesture. But meanwhile, they also have their own typical ways to cerebrating events such as weddings, funerals, or coming of age. Yet ritual and ceremony are trial part of their heritage which preserved by their ancestor in order to identify their culture,

In sum, any races in various regions with a unique culture should maintain and display that heritage—by way of ritual and ceremony. What we need is not a homogenous or assimilation world, but a multi-cultural one. Nevertheless, ritual and ceremony are not just for cultural identity, but original for spiritual functions. Moreover, many other forms, like dresses, habits and manners, would also be measures to preserve cultural identity, like ritual and ceremony do.

gloriaguo1986UID: 2232808

　　　I agree with the speaker that rituals and ceremonies, as special cultural heritage, are able to identify culture. However, in my view the initial purpose of rituals and ceremonies are not for cultural identity but for spiritual belief. （一开始没注意“initial”,然后看第2段末句第３段首句还以为你存在逻辑上的矛盾，后来看明白了，呵呵:loveliness: ~从我个人第一感觉来看，我觉得将第3段首句的意思放在这儿可能比较好）Moreover, the speaker overlooks alternative forms can also stand for a culture.（首段简洁明了，ＯＫ！）　　　　　　　　　　　

　　　At first, rituals and ceremonies are both important cultural heritage that are representative to (少词）a unique culture and any races of people(people of any race?顺序)all have a basic psychological need (少词）to possess identity group. Native American tribes, for example, cling tenaciously to their traditional rituals and ceremonies. In order to preserve these tribal heritages, they have struggled against assimilation, even extinction, at the hand of European intruders for more than 500 years.（例子好！） And an outward display of traditional customs and distinct heritages to put the world on notice that each tribe is a distinct and autonomous people, with unique culture, values and ideas. Moreover, when people usually travel to some regions or countries, what they hope to watch first are those special rituals and ceremonies which are typical in the regions or countries, and at the same time, people in these regions are devoted to preserve their traditional customs not only for attracting more travelers, but more importantly for identify themselves.　

　　　Nevertheless, preserving cultural identity is not the only purpose of ritual and ceremony. From my observation, even in previous time with less assimilation, people of various races insist on their special rituals and ceremonies, which seem more complex and formal than today. In fact, the initial purpose of ritual and ceremony is rooted not for cultural identity but rather for superstition and spiritual belief. These spiritual hopes reflect on a serious behavior prayer, such as for a favorable weather condition to bring bountiful harvests, to frighten away evil spirits, or to entreat the gods for a family member’s safe back or for victory in battle.（闪光句！Good!:) ） Even today some primitive cultures engage in rituals mainly for such reasons, like Chinese bride holding an apple in wedding to guarantee happiness life, or burring (应该是burying吧) dead people in a place surrounding with rivers and hills to denote dead people would lead a better life in another world.　　　

　　　Nor are ritual and ceremony the only means of preserving cultural identity. For example, some western races, like Hasidic Jews, set themselves apart from others by their dress and dietary habits. Or some African tribes distinguish themselves today by their manner of speech and gesture. But meanwhile, they also have their own typical ways to cerebrating events such as weddings, funerals, or coming of age. Yet ritual and ceremony are trial part of their heritage which preserved by their ancestor in order to identify their culture,（此段是北美范文的改写，个人觉得改写得很好！只是不知会否被判雷同（我自己也存在这个问题:handshake ），也许把“Hasidic Jews、African tribes”这么熟悉的字眼换换，什么“in some eastern countries”随便扯吧~首句末句也可以换换。）　　　

　　　In sum, any race（s） in various regions with a unique culture should maintain and display that heritage—by way of ritual and ceremony. What we need is not a homogenous or assimilation world, but a multi-cultural one. Nevertheless, ritual and ceremony are not just for cultural identity, but original for spiritual functions. Moreover, many other forms, like dresses, habits and manners, would also be measures to preserve cultural identity, like ritual and ceremony do. （好结尾！）

小结：

1、  总体感觉很顺畅，结构也很清晰，语言也很地道（有些小错误还需注意），例证也很充足（外国的例子比我多:) ），很好！个人觉得有高分基础~
2、  楼主的逻辑也很好！很值得学习！那个我在首段指出的逻辑上的小问题可能是我个人的问题，仅供参考:) ~
3、  请教下：楼主是脱“稿”（只有大脑、双手和没打开其他资料的电脑）完成的吗？我很困惑，到时候我怎么能在45分钟内完成一篇自己虽然有所准备的ISSUE？我现在练习的时候该脱“稿”吗？另外楼主背“北美”吗？

[ 本帖最后由 gloriaguo1986 于 2007-12-10 20:56 编辑 ]