Issue243 第一次作业

hziu2UID: 2326409

Issue243 "The true value of a civilization is reflectedin its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."

The statement assets that the value of a civilization is reflected its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments. I don’t agree with the statement. Although the art can reflect the value of a civilization, we can’t deny that scientific accomplishments also evaluate a civilization.
   Art being a carrier of spirituality represents the height of human’s thought. Archeologist always evaluates the development of a society by looking the achievement of art of this society. The Tang dynasty is famous for its developed art. Both of poetry and painting achieve a unprecedented peak. On the Tang dynasty, varied thought spread upon this period and glitter wise.
A civilization full of artic creation is a amazing society that give an outlook of true meaning about human, about universe , and so on. Through art , we can look into the inside of the civilization and understand that how the civilization to explain the world it exists.
We admit that the artic creation reflects the value of a civilization, but we can’t deny the devotion of scientific accomplishments. How we can image that what the world would be without electric? How we can tolerance the lagging information if we went back to the dynasty that people only used horse being a traveling tool. Scientific accomplishment brings energy to civilization. Industry revolution bought people into the new period of industry. After that the society develops with an unprecedented speed. Now, people enjoy the civilization full of the convenience and speedy and abundant information which result from scientific accomplishments.
Meanwhile, we can’t separate the artistic creation and scientific accomplishments. Art is a higher goal fundament of material. People must assure that they shouldn’t suffer hunger and chilly, and then they can turn their head to the art. And scientific accomplishment provide new thing into art and give new tool to art creation.
In short, It is unilateral to look upon the value of a civilization just with artistic creations or scientific accomplishments. A civilization’s value no only is reflected in artistic creations but also in scientific achievement. We should combine this two thing and then understand a society thoroughly.

zhyangelUID: 2434683

首先说明一下，我批注的符号含义：

下划线表示原文被替换内容，红色文字表示推荐使用的词或者句子。如：“this the”表示this 改为 the

蓝色文字表示补充的词。斜体字表示应该删除的词或者有疑问的词句。

The statement assets that the value of a civilization is reflected its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments. I don’t agree with the statement. Although the art can reflect the value of a civilization, we can’t deny that scientific accomplishments also evaluate a civilization.

   Art being a carrier of spirituality represents the height of human’s thought. Archeologist always evaluates the development of a society by looking the achievement of art of this the society. The Tang dynasty is famous for its developed art. Both of poetry and painting achieve a an unprecedented peak. On the Tang dynasty, varied thought spread upon this period and glitter wise.( I did not catch the idea of this sentence. I think it might be like this: “varied thoughts full of rays of wisdom spread widely ” )

A civilization full of artic creation is a amazing society that give an outlook of true meaning about human, about universe , and so on. Through art , we can look into the inside of the civilization and understand that how the civilization to explain the world it exists. ( Why is this paragraph separated from the above one, while all of them say the same thing that artistic creations reflect the value of a civilization? )

We admit that the artic creation reflects the value of a civilization, but we can’t deny the devotion of scientific accomplishments. How we can can we image that what the world would be without electric? How we can can we tolerance the lagging information if we went back to the dynasty that people only used horse being a traveling tool. Scientific accomplishment brings energy to civilization. Industry revolution bought people into the new period of industry. After that the society develops with an unprecedented speed. Now, people enjoy the civilization full of the convenience and speedy and abundant information which result from scientific accomplishments.

Meanwhile, we can’t separate the artistic creation and scientific accomplishments. Art is a higher goal comparing to fundament of material. People must assure that they shouldn’t suffer hunger and chilly, and then they can turn their head to the art. And scientific accomplishment provide new thing into art and give new tool to help develop art creation.

In short, It is unilateral to look upon the value of a civilization just with artistic creations or scientific accomplishments. A civilization’s value is not only is reflected in artistic creations but also in scientific achievement. We should combine this two thing and then understand a society thoroughly.

总结：

优点：整篇文章的构思很完善，思路也很清晰，先说艺术，再说科学，再说艺术和科学的关系，最后总结两者缺一不可。观点很好。开头和结尾也表达的很清楚，让人一看就能明白作者要表达什么观点。

缺点：可能和我本人的作文水平有关，我感觉整篇文章里用语有点太汉语化，我看的时候，要把整句翻译出来才能看得懂，而且翻译出来的意思居然和我们汉语的习惯很符合，这种感觉和我看英文文章的感觉有点差距。也有可能是我自己水平太有限，看不懂作者的习惯句式用法。不过里面很多复杂句，看得出来是经过一番思考才写出来的，要赞一个。另外，虽然没有大的语法错误，但反复出现的一个小语法错误就是，单复数问题，很多句子里都没注意哦，是不是时间太紧，赶的太急了呀~呵呵

我说话比较直接哦，由于自己水平有限，所以肯定有很多说的不妥的地方，请不要介意哦~

[ 本帖最后由 zhyangel 于 2007-12-15 23:39 编辑 ]

zhuzhiweiUID: 2438616

The statement assets （asserts）that the value of a civilization is reflected (in)its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments. I don’t agree with the statement. Although the art can reflect the value of a civilization, we can’t deny that scientific accomplishments also evaluate a civilization.    Art being a carrier of spirituality represents the height of human’s thought. Archeologist always evaluates the development of a society by looking(换个词吧，LOOKING不是ARCHEOLOGIST的动作。T_T) the achievement of art of this society. (这里有个过渡要好些，FOR INSTANCE 啊 等等，太突兀了``直接就来唐朝了)The Tang dynasty is famous for its developed art. Both of poetry and painting achieve a unprecedented （remarkble）peak. On the Tang dynasty, varied thought spread upon this period and (as well as )glitter wise. A civilization full of artic creation is a amazing society that give an outlook of true meaning about human, about universe , and so on. Through art , we can look into the inside of the civilization and understand that 不要 how the civilization to explain the world it exists（exisitent of  the world）. We (I)admit that the artic creation reflects the value of a civilization, but we can’t deny the devotion of scientific accomplishments. How we can image (imagine)that what the world would be without electric? How we can tolerance the lagging information if we went back to the dynasty that people only used horse being   as a traveling tool.(method) Scientific accomplishment brings energy to civilization. Industry revolution bought people into the new period of industry. After that the society develops with an unprecedented speed. Now, people enjoy the civilization  society full of the convenience and speedy and abundant information which result from scientific accomplishments. Meanwhile MOREOVER we can’t separate the artistic creation and scientific accomplishments. Art is a higher goal fundament of material. People must assure that they shouldn’t suffer hunger and chilly, and then they can turn their head (不地道)to the art. And scientific accomplishment provide new thing into art and give new tool to art creation. In short, It is unilateral to look upon the value of a civilization just with (by its)artistic creations or scientific accomplishments. A civilization’s value no only is reflected in artistic creations but also in scientific achievement. We should combine this two thing and then understand  the value of the a civilization thoroughly. 建议还是先多看看范文。 本人水平也比较低。加油吧。