Issue185[Aero小组]第六次作业

xuj401UID: 2434494

issue第185题
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.



    The speaker asserts that the scandals is useful for the reason that it could draw our attention that the speaker or the reformer couldn't.In my point of view, I agree with the speaker's claimination.Admmitedly,the scandals could make us focus the attention on problems we seldom notice.Yet,the scandals just show the bad aspect of the problem,so it bring us to unfulliy understanding of things.

   
   The scandals undoubtlly spured the interesting of the problems in many areas such as politics,academia,education and so on.Few peaple have the desire to know the positive news,but for the scandals which under that news is absorbing,even the thing hapened in acadenical area which we liitle noticed.A good case in point that the Woo Suk Hwang,the father of clone called in Kerean,have deceited the science area that he have reach the result of the creation of embryonic stem cells from the adult tissue.For such thing,majority of peaple,who didn't know the sience area,began to pocus their attention on  the academical things.

  However,it should be confessed that the scandals are the negotive aspect of things,and the unprofessional peaple could not know the whole of the things.The result of such sandals is making peaple believe the world is full of bad things.And peaple began to abandon seeing the world in positive view,and some even learn them.We could not exclude some scandals even be created intended.It obversely be noticed that peaple began to make some scandal about themselves to make themselves famous.In the circle of entertainment,such example is not unusal.

  In sum ,from what have been discussed above,we may finally draw the conclusion that without the scandals our lives might be confined in a little circle,because we did no have  interesting to notice the other thing that isn't relative to ourselves.The scandals,however,also get peaple farthur to the things itself by the reason of half-baked realizasion to the integral whole.

freemankevin776UID: 2423220

语法错误没改，单词错了没改
文章太短，表述偏中文化

可乐加冰84UID: 2221571

    The speaker asserts that the scandals is(are) useful for the reason that it could draw our attention that the speaker or the reformer couldn't (could not).In my point of view, I agree with the speaker's claimination(claim). Admmitedly(Admittedly), the scandals could make us focus the attention on problems we seldom notice. Yet,the scandals just show the bad aspect of the problem, so it bring us to unfulliy(incompletely) understanding of(the) things.

   
   The scandals undoubtlly(undoubtedly) spured(spur用的不合理,increase) the interesting of the problems in many areas such as politics, academia, education and so on. Few people(people) have the desire(are willing) to know the positive news, but for the scandals which under that news is absorbing,even the thing hapened(happened) in acadenical(??) area which we liitle(??) noticed.(这个句子有问题。)A good case in point that the Woo Suk Hwang, (called) the father of clone called(省去) in Korean, have deceited(词性问题deceived) the science area(field) that he have reached the result of the creation of embryonic stem cells from the adult tissue. For such thing, majority of peaple(people), (even) who didn't know the sience area, began to pocus(focus) their attention on  the academical(academic) things.

  However, it should be confessed that the scandals are the negotive(negative) aspect(s) of things, and the unprofessional peaple (people) could not know the whole of the things. The result(s) of such sandals is(are) making peaple (people) believe the world is full of bad things. And peaple(people) began to abandon seeing the world in positive view, and some even learn them. We could not exclude some scandals even be created intended. It obversely(obviously) be noticed that peaple(people) began to make some scandal(s) about themselves (and) to make themselves (be) famous. In the circle of entertainment, such example is not unusal(unusual).

  In sum ,from what have been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that without the scandals our lives might be confined in a little circle, because we did no(not) have  interesting to notice the other thing that isn't relative to ourselves. The scandals, however, also get peaple (people) farthur(further) to the things itself by the reason of half-baked realizasion(realization) to the integral (thing).

文章的措辞问题较大，语句的变化方式不够丰富，论证结构不是很有说服力，楼主慢慢来，先去练习写写提纲，或者试着写一些模板。一起加油啊！

liruixinsnakeUID: 2373729

issue第185题
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

The speaker asserts that the scandals is useful for the reason that it could draw our attention that the speaker or the reformer couldn't. In my point of view, I agree with the speaker's claimination. Admmitedly, the scandals could make us focus the attention on problems we seldom notice. Yet, the scandals just show the bad aspect of the problem, so it bring us to unfulliy understanding of things.
（第一段确实表达出了自己的观点，但是因为词汇拼写问题的疏忽导致一些观点表达不清晰，如最后一个句子。）
   
   The scandals undoubtlly spured the interesting of the problems in many areas such as politics, academia, education and so on. Few peaple have the desire to know the positive news, but for the scandals which（are） under that news is （are）absorbing, even the thing hapened in acadenical area which we liitle noticed（which we rarely focused）. A good case in point that the Woo Suk Hwang, the father of clone called in Kerean, have deceited the science area that he have reach the result of the creation of embryonic stem cells from the adult tissue. For such thing, majority of peaple, who didn't know the sience area, began to pocus their attention on  the academical things.
（例子不错，支持你的这段观点，）
  However, it should be confessed that the scandals are the negotive aspect of things,
(这句话说得不好，太绝对了，我认为你想表达的意思是丑闻在另一方面来讲对社会有负面影响，应该说的婉转一点，避免绝对化) and the unprofessional peaple could not know the whole of the things. The result of such sandals is making peaple believe the world is full of bad things. And peaple began to abandon seeing the world in positive view, and some even learn them. We could not exclude some scandals even be created intended. It obversely be noticed that peaple began to make some scandal about themselves to make themselves famous. In the circle of entertainment, such example is not unusal.

  In sum（to sum up） ,from what have been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that （句式很好，继续保持）without the scandals our lives might be confined in a little circle, because we did no have  interesting to notice the other thing that isn't relative to ourselves.（句式有问题？看不懂） The scandals, however, also get peaple farthur to the things itself by the reason of half-baked realizasion to the integral whole.

总结：拼写错误严重，影响到理解了！
              很多句式很好，值得学习！
              逻辑结构还可以，但应该再充分一些，丰富作文的结构！


另外： 非常严重的跟楼主说明： people 一定要注意拼写，你都写成peaple了。。。。。不要犯这种错误！

[ 本帖最后由 liruixinsnake 于 2008-1-20 11:45 编辑 ]