Issue208 习作，求拍，谢谢！

huangleyiUID: 2196520

Issue208 我的第一篇
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

We can hear of people's attitudes and interests in coversation with them. But there are occassions when no first-hand information is available. The only method we can learn about their attitudes and interest is to observe the way they look, dress, and act.

A lawyer representing a black man in a case would prefer a jury made up of people of color, who, more likely show mercy on his client; A hostess could expect a female guest who wears a veil and a loose-fitting dress to be Muslim and thus take an aversion for pork; Moreover, we have generally accepted such body language as a frown suggesting frustration, a shrug indicating uncertainty, and etc.

As a matter of fact, we lean heavily on observation of the way people look, dress, and act to acquire their attitudes and interests. The police owe a lot to observation of people's look, dress, and act, which plays an important role in discerning guilt or innocence, and eventually cracking criminal cases. So does the service industry which perceives its customers' preference by observing the way they look, dress, and act, and accordingly offers high quality sevices catering to individual taste. Furthermore, what we regard as acumen or considerateness in our daily life, is often coexistent with a keen sense of observation over the way people look, dress, and act and an excellent ability to analyze the evidence for their attitudes and interests.

However, we can not correctly judge people's attitudes and interests from the way they look, dress, and act every time. Sometimes what people look, dress, and act outside is totally different from the inside, especially when they have sordid motives or are driven by vanity. What we get from outside -- look, dress, and act, then, is merely an illustion which distorts the overall picture of people's attitudes and interests. Besides, different cultural background may as well lead to misunderstanding in interpreting people's look, dress, and act. Americans, for instance, take it for granted that head-nod indicates yes, while in Nepal it means no in effect.

When it comes to people within a society, in some sense, you can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. This effect has been reinforced by knowledge of social background and cross-social comparisons.

There are some parts of the world where even now people, wrapped in leaves, furs and feathers, ditribute food, which comes mainly from hunting and gathering, uniformly among the community. Based on observation of their simple clothing, tool kit, and lifestyle, we could reach a tentative conlusion that they are a very primitive people and share acommon set of ideas and values prevailing in primitive societies.

Women's garment today is given much more bold dashes of design than even one hundred years ago. Such a change in the style of dress also indicates women's liberation in general. Obviously we now live in a society which puts on more emphasis on gender equality than ever before.

Taking a look at the behavior - involvement in social activities, for example - of black people in America in early nighteen century and nowadays, from slaves in plantations to citizens with the right to vote, the social and economic status of the black people has been upgraded significantly, which suggests that racial discrimination has been withdrawn from mainstream American ideas and values at present.

This advantage, however, is gradually being undermined with a growing trend of individuality and the third wave of globalization. Instead of conforming to certain criterion, appearance and bebevior of people today appear to be rich and varied. Besides, people with different social background dress themselves in the same fashion  and share the similar experience of work, study, entertainmen with the helpe of modern communication technology and mass global media. All these facts manifest that now it has become more and more difficult to find in appearance and behavior of people similarities within one society and distinction between different ones and consequently abstract a society's ideas and values.

While the way people look, dress, and act does reveal their attitudes and interests to some extent and by observing the appearance and behavior of its people you can, indeed, tell much about a society's ideas and values, no one can hope to arrive a full and true understanding of people's attitude and interest as well as a society's ideas and value by only observing people's appearance and behavior. It merely provides a possible access to them. And for in-depth look, other aspects of people and society such as speech, publication, legal system, historical background should also be taken into account. All in all then observation of people's appearance and behavior, together with other approaches, contributes to our understanding of people and society profoundly and significantly.

[ 本帖最后由 huangleyi 于 2008-1-21 15:56 编辑 ]

iq28UID: 2152875

Issue208 我的第一篇
"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

We can hear of people's attitudes and interests in coversation with them. But there are occassions when no first-hand information is available. The only (不必要说得这么绝对来支持题目的论点) method we can learn about their attitudes and interest is to observe the way they look, dress, and act. （题目分为两个层次，首先是个人的态度和兴趣，第二层是社会的价值和理念。而作为文章的开头仅仅提到了个人，似乎不是很妥当，尽管你下面将整个题目都回应了。）

A lawyer representing a black man in a case would prefer a jury made up of people of color, who, more likely show mercy on his client; A hostess could expect a female guest who wears a veil and a loose-fitting dress to be Muslim and thus take an aversion for pork; （两个例子其实选择都不错，可惜句式的问题使得两个例子读起来更加像是在支持别的论点。主语和谓语强调了某些人对于什么样的人会取选择，而不是强调了这些人的特性是由他们的行为穿着所表现出来的）Moreover, we have generally accepted such body language as a frown suggesting frustration, a shrug indicating uncertainty, and etc.
（上下两个段落之间是什么关系呢？）
As a matter of fact, we lean heavily on observation of the way people look, dress, and act to acquire their attitudes and interests. The police owe a lot to observation of people's look, dress, and act, which plays an important role in discerning guilt or innocence, and eventually cracking criminal cases. So does the service industry which perceives its customers' preference by observing the way they look, dress, and act, and accordingly offers high quality sevices catering to individual taste. （这段两个例子的表述就要好很多）Furthermore, （可以不用furthermore，这里可以用这个很有新意的观念作为对于整个段落的总结）what we regard as acumen or considerateness in our daily life, is often coexistent with a keen sense of observation over the way people look, dress, and act and an excellent ability to analyze the evidence for their attitudes and interests.（这一段赞）

However, we can not correctly judge people's attitudes and interests from the way they look, dress, and act every time. （划线部分可以提前至not处，表意更加清晰）Sometimes what people look, dress, and act outside is totally different from the inside, especially when they have sordid motives or are driven by vanity. What we get from outside -- look, dress, and act, then, is merely an illustion which distorts the overall picture of people's attitudes and interests. （和上一句重了，基本没什么意义）Besides, different cultural background may as well lead to misunderstanding in interpreting people's look, dress, and act. Americans, for instance, take it for granted that head-nod indicates yes, while in Nepal it means no in effect.
（段内论证其实已经相当成熟了。段间还是有些问题，比如，楼主只是将题目中的各个点逐一陈述，这个确实清晰但不是很出彩。）

When it comes to people within a society, in some sense, you can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people. This effect has been reinforced by knowledge of social background and cross-social comparisons.

There are some parts of the world where even now people, wrapped in leaves, furs and feathers, ditribute food, which comes mainly from hunting and gathering, uniformly among the community. Based on observation of their simple clothing, tool kit, and lifestyle, we could reach a tentative conlusion that they are a very primitive people and share acommon set of ideas and values prevailing in primitive societies.

Women's garment today is given much more bold dashes of design than even one hundred years ago. Such a change in the style of dress also indicates women's liberation in general. Obviously we now live in a society which puts on more emphasis on gender equality than ever before.

Taking a look at the behavior - involvement in social activities, for example - of black people in America in early nighteen century and nowadays, from slaves in plantations to citizens with the right to vote, the social and economic status of the black people has been upgraded significantly, which suggests that racial discrimination has been withdrawn from mainstream American ideas and values at present.（这段也是，跟最前面的段有些像。同样的例子用不同的表述方法可以将重心偏向不同的论点，楼主可以在琢磨琢磨）

This advantage, however, is gradually being undermined with a growing trend of individuality and the third wave of globalization. Instead of conforming to certain criterion, appearance and bebevior of people today appear to be rich and varied. （这句如果不展开无法支持论点。如果展开，这段可以分成个小论点：1，大家的行为举止太多样化，没法统计出一个社会的情况；2，另外的一个极端，现在全球化导致大家都一样，也没法区分出各个不同社会的区别。1和2两个分论点，微观过于无序无法归纳出宏观有序的东西，微观过于有序无法归纳出宏观之间的无序。）Besides, people with different social background dress themselves in the same fashion  and share the similar experience of work, study, entertainmen with the helpe of modern communication technology and mass global media. All these facts manifest that now it has become more and more difficult to find in appearance and behavior of people similarities within one society and distinction between different ones and consequently abstract a society's ideas and values.（终于来了一段说理的论述，讲得也相当不错）

While the way people look, dress, and act does reveal their attitudes and interests to some extent and by observing the appearance and behavior of its people you can, indeed, tell much about a society's ideas and values, no one can hope to arrive a full and true understanding of people's attitude and interest as well as a society's ideas and value by only observing people's appearance and behavior. （针对前文论述给出鲜明而合理的态度，赞）It merely provides a possible access to them. And for in-depth look, other aspects of people and society such as speech, publication, legal system, historical background should also be taken into account. All in all then observation of people's appearance and behavior, together with other approaches, contributes to our understanding of people and society profoundly and significantly.

issue208，作为我当时备考时最无语的一篇issue，楼主写时能旁征博引给出很多丰富的例子和思路，已经做得相当成功了。
除了某些例子的表述可能有改进空间，别的我都是在吹毛求疵了。well done！

hyunnaraUID: 2381361

牛人都是笔试词汇 论证也有力 五分选手