issue47

hziu2UID: 2326409

If not for systematical reasoning and other cognitive skills developed by generations  of scientists and thinkers, the modern industrial world couldn't have come into being. In recognition to this, our society has put greater emphasis on the intellect in order to sustain development, at times to extent of neglecting non-intellectual skills.
   Actually, our society has placed too much emphasis on the intellect skills. As we look back to our childhood, all kinds of book for helping our learning or improving the ability of study filled our memory. Begin with the primary school, so much exercise left by teachers make little children sleepless. This situation lasts to the end of black July. And then, students could relax their nervous brain. During this time. basis education emphasizes on the students intellect learning, All kinds of exams and tests revolve the learning of students  and the teaching of teachers. Students' abilities such as reasoning and other cognitive sense are fully practiced. Especially the mathematics.
    But our society does not place enough emphasis on the non-intellectual skills. Under our base-oriented education, it appears that so many students with high mark but low ability for living and so many colleges isolated with their classmates. Those phenomenons are all resulted by the ignorance of non- intellectual skills.
   In a sense, intellectual skills and non-intellectual skills are somewhat like skeleton and flesh of a body. Rational and rigid, the intellectual skeleton provides steadfast support to the body. Whether or not the bones are strong decides the strength and puissance of the organic body. Non- intellectual flesh encompasses and fills the body, enriching it and endowing life to the otherwise numb frame. Intellectual quality is important. And the non-intellectual quality that we also called emotional quality (EQ) is important as well. The non-intellectual quality contains skills such as communicate skill, serving skill and so on. The non-intellectual quality help us how to get along with the people around, how to look after ourselves well without our parents and even how to survive in this world. Even, as people know more about the important of the EQ, socialist discover that the people with high EQ have more opportunity to achieve successes even they are not smartest than the other people.
So, the society should give more emphasis to the non-intellectual skills. After all, human is not just a intellectual created but also social create. People should balance their intellectual and non-intellectual quality and then go to a homonym society.

m2zhyUID: 2440721

If not for systematical reasoning and other cognitive skills developed by generations of scientists and thinkers, the modern industrial world couldn't have come into being. In recognition to this, our society has put greater emphasis on the intellect in order to sustain development, at times to extent of neglecting non-intellectual skills.   

Actually, our society has placed too much emphasis on the intellect skills. As we looking back to our childhood, all kinds of book for helping our learning or improving the ability of study filled our memory. Begin with the primary school, so much exercise left by teachers make little children sleepless. This situation lasts to the end of black July. And then, students could relax their nervous brain. During this time, basis education emphasizes on the students intellect learning. All kinds of exams and tests revolve(involve) the learning of students and the teaching of teachers. Students' abilities such as reasoning and other cognitive sense are fully practiced, especially(大写改称小写) the mathematics.    

But our society does not place enough emphasis on the non-intellectual skills. Under our base-oriented education, it appears that so many students with high mark but low ability for living and so many colleges isolated with their classmates. Those phenomenons are (This phenomenon is, phenomenon不可数) all resulted by the ignorance of non- intellectual skills.   

In a sense, intellectual skills and non-intellectual skills are somewhat like skeleton and flesh of a body. Rational and rigid, the intellectual skeleton provides steadfast support to the body. Whether or not the bones are strong decides the strength and puissance of the organic body. Non- intellectual flesh encompasses and fills the body, enriching it and endowing life to the otherwise numb frame. Intellectual quality is important. And the non-intellectual quality that we also called emotional quality (EQ) is important as well. The non-intellectual quality contains skills such as communicate skill, serving skill and so on. The non-intellectual quality help us how to get along with the people around, how to look after ourselves well without our parents and even how to survive in this world. Even, as people know more about the important of the EQ, socialist discover that the people with high EQ have more opportunity to achieve successes even they are not smartest than the other people.

So, the society should give more emphasis to the non-intellectual skills. After all, human is not just an intellectual created(creature) but also social create(creature). People should balance their intellectual and non-intellectual quality and then go to a homonym society.

搂主MM，以下所言恐怕要伤到你了，看在G的薄面上，还请见谅~
总评：
      这篇文章放在G的Issue里面算是很不合格的一篇了，如果拿来对付T可能还有用武之地。晚上刚得知MM即将考T，所以，看到MM这篇文章也就不奇怪了。我想，搂主大概还不是十分清楚G的Issue和托福作文的区别。G的要求是研究性的文章，要尽量避开举生活琐事做例子，如某人小学时候怎样，中学又怎样，大学终于怎样之类的。
      语法和句子方面，楼主的语法没什么问题，语言和词汇上还比较欠缺，与G的要求还有段距离。
      文章结构方面，比较的混乱，另外直接借用了小宝的原句，很不妥。
      建议楼主先多看看Issue范文，不要把托福作文和G的作文搞混了。

[ 本帖最后由 m2zhy 于 2008-1-24 23:50 编辑 ]