ARGUMENT192[spring小组]第14次作业

julia_tian.m007UID: 2450531

ARGUMENT192
    “Despite opposition from some residents of West Roseville, the arguments in favor of merging the township of Roseville and West Roseville are overwhelming. First, residents in both townships are confused about which authority to contact when they need a service; for example, the police department in Roseville receives many calls from residents of West Roseville. This sort of confusing would be eliminated with the merger. Second, the savings in administrative costs would be enormous, since services would no longer be duplicated; we would have only one fire chief, one tax department, one major, and so on. And no jobs in city government would be lost-employees could simply be reassigned. Most importantly, the merger will undoubtedly attract business investments as it did when the townships of Hamden and North Hamden merged ten years ago.”
    尽管West Roseville 的一些居民持反对意见，支持合并Roseville和West Roseville 的呼声还是占了上风。首先，两地区的居民经常搞不清楚在需要服务的时候应该和哪个政府联系；举例来说，Roseville 的警署接到过很多West Roseville 居民的电话。这种混乱可以通过合并来消除。其次，管理开支将会得到很大节省，因为服务不再重复：我们将只有一个消防局，一个税务局，一个市长，以及其他等等。市政府的工作岗位并不会减少，雇员可以被重新委任。最重要的是，合并无疑会吸引更多的商务投资，就像Hamden 和 North Hamden 在十年前合并时所发生的那样。
WORDS：512                           TIME：1hour
    The author argues that the Roseville and West Roseville should be merged, although some residents of West Roseville are opposite about it. To support this recommend, the author assumes three circumstances as: the residents of the two townships are confusing of which government should be contact when they need services; and the administrative costs would be enormous if there is only one government; also, the merging would attract business investments as Hamden and North Hamden merged ten years ago. Unfortunately, there is no enough evidence to support these assumptions.
    In the first place, the author assumes one of the reasons of the two townships should be merged is many residents are confusing of which government should be contact when they need services. However, this is not necessarily the case. It is entirely possible that the telephone numbers of the two police departments are extremely similarity of each other. That is easy lead to the residents to dial the wrong number. Even if the residents are indeed find help from the Roseville police department, there are some other ways to solve it simply. Such as enlarge the number of local police man, or improve the efficient of the police departments.
    In the second place, even if the confusing of governments need to eliminate, the author assumed that the administrative costs would be enormous if there is just one government. Nevertheless, the author didn’t provide enough evidences to prove this assuming. It is perhaps that, merging the two townships will entirely enlarge the workload of government. It is truly that there is only one government after merging, but, it may bring more works and more administrative costs. And also, it may reduce the work efficiency. And eliminated a government will definitely lead to lay off employees, that was contradiction with the author’s assuming that the employees would be reassigned.
    Finally, the author the merging of the two townships would attractive business investments based on the evidence that the merging of Hamden and North Hamden ten years ago. However, this is not necessarily the case. The author fails to provide any evidence to support this idea. It is possible that the conditions of Hamden and North Hamden are totally different to the Roseville and West Roseville townships. There are so many reasons to attractive business investment, such as the labor, the bargaining policy. Therefore, the merging of Hamden and North Hamden can’t be a case to justify the merge of Roseville wills also attractive business investment. Moreover, the merge of Hamden and North Hamden was ten years ago, there are so many alterations during the ten years.
    In sum, the recommendation of merging the Roseville and West Roseville is fail to support. To convince me, the author must provide enough statistics evidences about the confusing of government need to eliminate only by the way of merging. And how to reassign the employees who are lay-off by eliminate the government? Better to evaluate this recommends, the author need to provide statistics about the business investment of Hamden and North Hamden have directly relationship with their merging.  

machelleUID: 2348066

The author argues that the Roseville and West Roseville should be merged, although some residents of West Roseville are opposite about it. To support this recommend, the author assumes three circumstances as: the residents of the two townships are confusing of which government should be contact when they need services; and the administrative costs would be enormous if there is only one government; also, the merging would attract business investments as Hamden and North Hamden merged ten years ago. Unfortunately, there is no enough evidence to support these assumptions.
    In the first place, the author assumes one of the reasons of the two townships should be merged is many residents are confusing of 【1】which government should be contact【2】（加上with） when they need services. However, this is not necessarily the case. It is entirely possible that the telephone numbers of the two police departments are extremely similarity of each other. That is easy lead to【3】 the residents to dial the wrong number. Even if the residents are indeed find（不通顺） help from the Roseville police department, there are some other ways to solve it simply. Such as enlarge the number of local police man, or improve the efficient of the police departments. 【4】
    In the second place, even if the confusing of governments need to eliminate, the author assumed that the administrative costs would be enormous if there is just one government. Nevertheless, the author didn’t provide enough evidences to prove this assuming. It is perhaps that, merging the two townships will entirely enlarge the workload of government. It is truly that there is only one government after merging, but, it may bring more works and more administrative costs. And also, it may reduce the work efficiency. And eliminated a government will definitely lead to lay off employees, that was contradiction with the author’s assuming that the employees would be reassigned.
    Finally, the author the merging of the two townships would attractive business investments based on the evidence that the merging of Hamden and North Hamden ten years ago. However, this is not necessarily the case. The author fails to provide any evidence to support this idea. It is possible that the conditions of Hamden and North Hamden are totally different to the Roseville and West Roseville townships. There are so many reasons to attractive business investment, such as the labor, the bargaining policy. Therefore, the merging of Hamden and North Hamden can’t be a case to justify the merge of Roseville wills also attractive business investment. Moreover, the merge of Hamden and North Hamden was ten years ago, there are so many alterations during the ten years.
    In sum, the recommendation of merging the Roseville and West Roseville is fail to support. To convince me, the author must provide enough statistics evidences about the confusing of government need to eliminate only by the way of merging. And how to reassign the employees who are lay-off by eliminate the government? Better to evaluate this recommends, the author need to provide statistics about the business investment of Hamden and North Hamden have directly relationship with their merging
【1】confuse 似乎没有和 of搭配的用法
【3】语法不通顺，lead to 可以直接当谓语
【4】这一段还可以指出reduce confusion的其他可行的方法，以及merging的坏处，比如若两个township离得比较远，那么merging之后的办公地点问题，至少会对其中一方的居民带来不利
【小结】
作者基本上找出了逻辑错误，但是很多时候作者套用了一些常用的句型，很有可能被判为雷同，这一点我和你一样，大家一起努力克服
写作的时候切忌用一些自己不熟悉的短语，注意一些明显的语法错误