Argument147

jflycaiUID: 2452449

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appearedin an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind videogames have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-gameplayers suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The surveyasked video-game players what features they thought were most important in avideo game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelikegraphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introducedseveral such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows,then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increasedramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 271          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-2-11下午 04:02:05

This editorial claims that there is likelyto be a significant increase in the sales of Whirlwind video games. To supportthis claim, the author cites a survey suggested that the declining trend inWhirlwind’s sales is about to be reversed, and that several new video gamesWhirlwind has introduced are catering the demand of most likely game players.Close scrutiny of each of these facts reveals that none of them lends crediblesupport to the author's statement.

To begin with, the author of this editorialunfairly assumes that the decreasing in sales of Whirlwind video game will beover according to a survey of which validity is doubtful. He fails to point outhow the survey is conducted, how many game players are surveyed and that ofrespondents. Lacking such details, it is entirely possible that such surveyonly interview a small group of video game players and their preference canhardly represent that of the majority. Or perhaps, questions are not wellprepared and even leading, respondents might echo with expected answers, thusthe results would be greatly unconvincing. If so, this survey dose notsubstantiates the claim that the declining trend will be stopped, let alone theWhirlwind’s sales will be improved.

Even if the survey indicates the mostprevalent games are those require the most up-to-date computer, the authorfurther assumes that Whirlwind introduces such games is profitable. Althoughalmost every game players intent to play such games, they dose not because mostof them can not afford to pursue the personal computer with the most powerfulchip inside. Perhaps even their middle class parents would thinks twice beforebuying such high requirement video games as a birthday gift, especiallyconsidering the annual budget.

Finally, given games required high performancecomputer share a considerable portion of video market, it dose no necessarilyindicates Whirlwind’s introducing such games is profitable. The editorial haslittle information about games that Whirlwind sells. Perhaps they are in factbored the player due to lacking worthiness as amusement and electronic entertainmentand too complex to play. Consequently players gain nothing but headache andfrustrating form it. If any of these scenarios is the case, introducing such gamesis not a wise advice to Whirlwind.

In sum, although this editorial provides areasonable argument at the first glance, it actually committed several logicalfallacies as mentioned. Therefore, the author can not justify his claim aboutWhirlwind on the basis of scant evidence provided in the editorial. To bolsterthis claim, he must provide better evidence such as concrete number of playerinterviewed in the survey, and their feeling about those games that Whirlwindintroduced.

[ 本帖最后由 liyue24 于 2008-2-14 14:31 编辑 ]

katu1204UID: 2355887

This editorial claims that there is likely to be a significant increase in the sales of Whirlwind video games. To support this claim, the author cites a survey suggested that the declining trend in Whirlwind’s sales is about to be reversed, and that several new video games Whirlwind has introduced are catering the demand of most likely game players. Close scrutiny of each of these facts reveals that none of them lends credible support to the author's statement.

To begin with, the author of this editorial unfairly assumes that the decreasing in sales of Whirlwind video game will be over according to a survey of which validity is doubtful. He fails to point out how the survey is conducted, how many game players are surveyed (and that of respondents)[看不懂]. Lacking such details, it is entirely possible that such survey only interview a small group of video game players and their preference can hardly represent that of the majority. Or perhaps, questions are not well prepared and even leading[一个词leading 有点含糊，leading the respondents to answer], respondents might echo with expected answers, thus the results would be greatly unconvincing. If so, this survey dose not substantiates the claim that the declining trend will be stopped, let alone the Whirlwind’s sales will be improved.

Even if the survey indicates the most prevalent games are those require the most up-to-date computer[调查指出的是lifelike graphic game 最受欢迎,"those require the most up-to-date computer"这里用这个短语有点做作的感觉], the author further assumes that Whirlwind introduces such games is profitable[even if 后面应该转折，让步什么的吧，这里没有]. Although almost every game players intent to play such games, they dose not because most of them can not afford to pursue the personal computer with the most powerful chip inside[感觉because后可以自成一句看起来更自然]. Perhaps even their middle class parents would thinks twice before buying such (high requirement video games)[改为video games requiring up-to-date computer，这个词组是自己照的吗？用新词时可以在google里搜索一哈看有这种用法不] as a birthday gift, especially considering the annual budget.

Finally, given games required high performance computer（学习了，好短语） share a considerable portion of video market, it dose no necessarily indicates Whirlwind’s introducing such games is profitable. The editorial has little information about games that Whirlwind sells. Perhaps they are in fact bored the player due to lacking worthiness as amusement and electronic entertainment and too complex to play. Consequently players gain nothing but headache and frustrating form it. If any of these scenarios is the case, introducing such games is not a wise advice to Whirlwind.

In sum, although this editorial provides a reasonable argument at the first glance, it actually committed several logical fallacies as mentioned. Therefore, the author can not justify his claim about Whirlwind on the basis of scant evidence provided in the editorial. To bolster this claim, he must provide better evidence such as concrete number of player interviewed in the survey, and their feeling about those games that Whirlwind introduced.

感觉你首尾两段较模板的语言流畅性明显高于中间三段，语句的组织还需要加强。
评论的有些地方可能不对，请见谅。

liuyang_zanUID: 2456614

Argument 147

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appearedin an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind videogames have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-gameplayers suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The surveyasked video-game players what features they thought were most important in avideo game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelikegraphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introducedseveral such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows,then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increasedramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 271          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-2-11下午 04:02:05

This editorial claims that there is likelyto be a significant increase in the sales of Whirlwind video games. To supportthis claim, the author cites a survey suggested that the declining trend inWhirlwind’s sales is about to be reversed,（这一句感觉没必要再说了吧） and that several new video gamesWhirlwind has introduced are catering （for ）the demand of most likely game players.Close scrutiny of each of these facts reveals that none of them lends credible support to the author's statement.

To begin with, the author of this editorialunfairly assumes that the decreasing in sales of Whirlwind video game will be over according to a survey of which validity is doubtful. He（the author） fails to point out how the survey is conducted, how many game players are surveyed and that ofrespondents. Lacking such details, it is entirely possible that such survey only interview a small group of video game players and their preference can hardly represent that of the majority. Or perhaps, questions are not well prepared and even leading, respondents might echo with expected answers, thus the results would be greatly unconvincing. If so, this survey dose not substantiates the claim that the declining trend will be stopped, let alone theWhirlwind’s sales will be improved.

Even if the survey indicates the most prevalent games are those(that) require the most up-to-date computer, the authorfurther assumes that Whirlwind introduces such games is profitable. (这句好像不太通顺吧)Although almost every game players intent to play such games, they dose not because mostof them can not afford to pursue the personal computer with the most powerful chip inside. Perhaps even their middle class parents would thinks twice beforebuying such high requirement video games as a birthday gift, especiallyconsidering the annual budget.

Finally, given games required high performancecomputer share a considerable portion of video market, it dose no necessarily indicates Whirlwind’s introducing such games is profitable. The editorial haslittle information about games that Whirlwind sells. Perhaps they are in fact bored the player due to lacking worthiness as amusement and electronic entertainment （请问这两个词是指什么啊）and too complex to play. Consequently players gain nothing but headache and frustrating form it. If any of these scenarios is the case, introducing such gamesis not a wise advice to Whirlwind.

In sum, although this editorial provides areasonable argument at the first glance, it actually committed several logical fallacies as mentioned. Therefore, the author can not justify his claim aboutWhirlwind on the basis of scant evidence provided in the editorial. To bolsterthis claim, he must provide better evidence such as concrete number of playerinterviewed in the survey, and their feeling about those games that Whirlwindintroduced.

jflycaiUID: 2452449

TOPIC: ISSUE40 - "Scholars andresearchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes acontribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue theirindividual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

I agree with the speaker’s assertion thatit is unnecessary for scholars and researchers to concern much that whethertheir work contribute to larger society or not. As I see it, it is unpractical todetermine exactly whether a scientist is working driven by good willing orpersonal preference. However, scholars and researchers should put a higherpriority to projects which bring benefit to most people. In most cases, unusualindividual interest is not a long lasting impetus when it comes to scientific research,especially considering its great cost of time and energy.

To begin with, it is reasonable andsometimes necessary to conduct research on specific field in which it severs onlya minority of people. Understandably, there are only a few discover orinvention providing improvement of every human life in this planet. Although mostof the efforts directly improve health, security, or other demand of theminority, it is worth doing so even just minority share its outcome. Onestriking example has to do with medical treatment, there are patients sufferingdiseases only a small faction of people have compared to total population. Someof them are born with genetic flaws, which lead to physical and mental suffering.If no medical scientists work on these fields, those who had such disease couldnot do anything but praising for a death in peace.

Another reason why I approve scientistsshould conduct researches that bring benefits to who amount for a relativelynarrow proportion of total population, is that these benefits may be obtainedin future. A striking example has to do with the Internet, which is widely usedby people from all over the world. It is well known that the Internet evolvedfrom a military communication network which developed by the defense departmentof the United Statesin the 1960s. At that time, only the US army stuff had the permissionuse it to exchange massage or data, general public did not allow using it. Infact, most of them even have not idea what Internet is. If the congress did notpermit such project, it is entirely possible we still sending mail with realenvelop and letter sheet.

On the other hand is a compelling argument againstplacing a duty on scholars to work for others rather than their own enthusiasm.Admittedly, personal interest often serves as the best instructor and impetusfor success. In the middle of nineteenth century, many discoveries andinventions come into emergence in this way.

Even today we human still have aconsiderable of pressing social problems such as poverty, environment pollutionand species extinction, and so forth. With limited resource and manpower, it iseffective and economical to focus on project involves government investment. Asto those researches sponsored by private foundations, they have right todiscover unknown fields as long as it is legal.

[ 本帖最后由 jflycai 于 2008-2-16 18:20 编辑 ]

victkidUID: 2326283

I agree with the speaker’s assertion that it is unnecessary for scholars and researchers to concern much that whether their work contribute to larger society or not. As I see it, it is unpractical to determine exactly whether a scientist is working driven by good willing or personal preference. However, scholars and researchers should put a higher priority to projects which bring benefit to most people. In most cases, unusual individual interest is not a long lasting impetus when it comes to scientific research, especially considering its great cost of time and energy.

To begin with, it is reasonable and sometimes necessary to conduct research on specific field in which it severs only a minority of people.（观点有问题，似乎跑题） Understandably, there are only a few discover or invention providing improvement of every human life in this planet. Although most of the efforts directly improve health, security, or other demand of the minority, it is worth doing so even just minority share its outcome. One striking example has to do with medical treatment, there are patients suffering diseases only a small faction of people have compared to total population. Some of them are born with genetic flaws, which lead to physical and mental suffering. If no medical scientists work on these fields, those who had such disease could not do anything but praising for a death in peace.

Another reason why I approve scientists should conduct researches is that bring benefits to who amount for a relatively narrow proportion of total population, is that these benefits may be obtainedin future. A striking example has to do with the Internet, which is widely usedby people from all over the world. It is well known that the Internet evolved from a military communication network which developed by the defense department of the United Statesin the 1960s. At that time, only the US army stuff had the permissionuse it to exchange massage or data, general public did not allow using it删掉. Infact, most of them even have not idea what Internet is. If the congress did notpermit such project, it is entirely possible we still sending mail with realenvelop and letter sheet.（这一段似乎也跑题了，看不出来有什么关系。）
On the other hand is a compelling argument against placing a duty on scholars to work for others rather than their own enthusiasm. Admittedly, personal interest often serves as the best instructor and impetus for success. In the middle of nineteenth century, many discoveries and inventions come into emergence in this way. （这段还可以多写，太少了。）

Even today we human still have a considerable of pressing social problems such as poverty, environment pollution and species extinction, and so forth. With limited resource and manpower, it is effective and economical to focus on project involves government investment. As to those researches sponsored by private foundations, they have right to discover unknown fields as long as it is legal.

语言还不错。但是思路不太清晰。观点也有些跑题

[ 本帖最后由 victkid 于 2008-2-18 00:34 编辑 ]

jflycaiUID: 2452449

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 207          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-2-14 上午 11:13:28

This newsletter recommends that all patients have muscle strain should take antibiotics as a part of treatment. To support this recommendation, the author cites a study involves two groups of such patients. According to the study, patients who took antibiotics healed quicker than those who take sugar pills instead. After close scrutinizing the study reveals, I find that it dose not provide credible support to the author's claim.

To begin with, the author of this medical newsletter unfairly assumes that it is the antibiotics influent the recuperation time of muscle injuries rather than other factors. As I see it, there are at least two possible explanations serves to the result of the study. The first has to do with the conditions of patients involved. The merely facts letter provides is that they are divided into two groups. Without extra information, it is possible patients in Dr. Newland's group suffer minor muscle injuries. Or perhaps most of them are young athletes with fit body. If any of these scenarios is true, it would definitely undermine the author’s clinical recommendation.

Even if the patients are in equally the same body condition, it is also possible that ability of doctor that affect the healing course most than any other potential factors, like infection as the author's assumption. According to the letter, Dr. Newland specialized in sports medicine, so it is not uncommon to believe that he would give patient a better treatment than Dr. Alton who is just a general physician. Without adequate information about how they treat patients, it is entirely possible that Dr. Newland's ability and effort influent the result of the study.

Even if patient and doctor's condition of the two groups are almost the same, the result dose not necessary indicates that all patients should be treated in the same way when it comes to muscle injuries. The letter fails to provide how many patients are involving. If the number of patients is no more than 50, it is hardly to be representative of most patients. Moreover, perhaps some of them do not have secondary infection. If so, to take antibiotics dose not lends any benefit for healing them and it is in fact thorough wasting medical resource. Since some the condition of patients varies, it is possible that some patients are allergy with specific antibiotics. If so, it is actually harm the patient rather than healing him.

In sum, the author intent to substantiate his claims with a clinical study, yet this study dose not demonstrates that taking antibiotics correlates to the quickly recover form muscle strain, let alone lends support to his recommended. Unless he provides additional evidences about muscle injuries treatment, I am not persuaded by his statement in the letter.

jflycaiUID: 2452449

TOPIC: ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
WORDS: 284          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-2-17 下午 12:59:23

This memo claims that a Health Council discovers a novel way of cold prevention, taking a supplement called Ichthaid which is derived from fish oil, and it brings lower absenteeism as well. To support this recommendation, the council cites a study which shows people form high fish consumption region are less likely to have a cold. Also, members in the council claim that cold is a primary reason for absences form school and work. I scrutinized the cited study and find it lends little credible support to the author's recommendation.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that East Meria residents who consume fish regularly are healthier, as they go to hospital no more than twice yearly. This assumption relies on a study which is to vague to be informative. The memo failed to point out how the study was conducted, how many residents involved in it. If the questionnaire in the study is not well prepared or even leading, it is impossible to access the validity of its results which indicates a causal relationship between the amount of fish consumption and the number in patients treated cold in local hospital. Perhaps, most East Meria residents lead to health life style, so they do exercises regularly and have healthy diet as well. Maybe East Meria is coastal city with warm and comfortable climate, as a result its habitants are more healthier. Any of these scenarios, if true, will definitely undermine the author's conclusion about cold treatment.

Even if to eat fish is proved to be an effective measure to prevent cold in East Meria, it is unjustified to generalize this conclusion to the whole country before any further studies. The memo does not provide adequate explanation why fish help residents healthier. Perhaps a special ingredient form a certain kind of fish, which lives in a river nearby East Meria, improves health. As to those do not contain such ingredient, no matter how much one eats, he would not receive expected effect. Without additional evidence, it is not wise to draw conclusion that eating fish serves to prevention of cold.

The council also unfairly assumes that having cold is the main factors contribute to absent from school and work. This means preventing colds would result in decrease in the number of absentees, therefore assure the attending rate. Lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, it is entirely possible that having cold is no more than an excuse. Perhaps in most case, man dose not go to work or school for his laziness or other personal affairs, such as dating. Unless the council provides exact evidence, I can not accept any conclusion drawn about cold and absent occurrence.

In sum, this memo present a sound argument at the first glance, the author does not substantiates his recommendation with evidence. To bolster this argument, the memo should provide additional evidences, such as what kind of fish did resident consumes most, their style of living, and so forth. Lacking such evidence, I can not accept any conclusions about the effect of eating fish, let alone decrease the incidence of absence from study and work.