issue53 [Jet小组第五次作业]

txjlionUID: 2445370

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.


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By comparing a group of 25 participants, who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli they were infants, with others, and the differentiation between these 25 participants and others when they were 13 years old, the arguer arrives at the conclusion that it is because of a hormone which product by their mother when they were pregnant. Plausible as the reasoning may be, the author has concentrated too much on this sole possibility and neglected others and therefore cannot make his argument convincing.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that existent of the hormone, produced by their mothers, bears some relation to the signs of mild distress is true. However, the author provides no evidence to support that this is not the case, nor he or she establish a causal relationship between the hormone and the signs of mild distress. We are not told about whether the hormone will effect the infants or not.

Next, it is without justification to assume that the sighs of shyness would continues into later life. The character of one person could change a lot, because the people, who he contact, friends, colleagues or some others, may
affect him a lot. And with the time passing, the people around him are changing. And almost the same when it comes to working and living environment, which also effect a person greatly.

Finally, these children , who thought themselves to be shy, may not truly be shy. The result about the character of these children is not based on a accurate study, but a simple inquiry to their own opinion. Obviously, the result is unwarranted. For example, many people think they are poor, which are not actually. Some of them have a great many of clothes, a nice car and big house. In fact, they are just not rich enough as they want to be.

In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide reliable evidence support the causal relationship between the hormone and the shyness of those people. To enhance the argument, other factors that give rise to the shyness of those children should be ruled out.

觉得这个题目没什么可说的，好像题目逻辑太混乱了，反而无从下手了。

欢迎猛批。

x6xUID: 2180130

By comparing a group of 25 participants, who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli they were infants, with others, and the differentiation between these 25 participants and others when they were 13 years old, the arguer arrives at the conclusion that it is because of a hormone which product by their mother when they were pregnant. (对argu的概括可以再精练些)Plausible as the reasoning may be, the author has concentrated too much on this sole possibility and neglected others and therefore cannot make his argument convincing.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that existent of the hormone, produced by their mothers, bears some relation to the signs of mild distress is true. However, the author provides no evidence to support that this is not the case, nor he or she establish a causal relationship between the hormone and the signs of mild distress. We are not told about whether the hormone will effect the infants or not.

Next, it is without justification to assume that the sighs of shyness would continues into later life. The character of one person could change a lot, because the people, who he contact, friends, colleagues or some others, may
affect him a lot. And with the time passing, the people around him are changing. And(连用两个and? 缺主语) almost the same when it comes to working and living environment, which also effect a person greatly.

Finally, these children , who thought themselves to be shy, may not truly be shy. The result about the character of these children is not based on a accurate study, but a simple inquiry to their own opinion. Obviously, the result is unwarranted. For example, many people think they are poor, which are not actually. Some of them have a great many of clothes, a nice car and big house. In fact, they are just not rich enough as they want to be.(这段论述的很好,类比例子举的不错)

In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide reliable evidence support the causal relationship between the hormone and the shyness of those people. To enhance the argument, other factors that give rise to the shyness of those children should be ruled out.

本文写的不错,原文找错都找对了,结构也很清晰