|
issue17 "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
In a long listory, the lwas dividen into two groups of which one is just and the other is unjust, there hans always been a discussion that ,besides obeying the just lwas ,wether the individuals or society as a whole should follow the unfair. Somebody announce that the obeisance to the unjust laws is ridiculous. However, some others more calm, at least it seems to me, insist that both just and unjust laws shoud be obeyed, and the unfaire should be changed by legal ways.
On ome hand, the laws of justice should definitely followed by everyone in the society. There is an old saying in the oriental culture that” simply in concepts, yet difficult in practise”. And in the fields of lwas , compared to legislation, execution usually needs more efforts and stuggles. A good case in point is the equality of humenrights among the groups of different colours. After the Civil War , the United States has defined that any individuals, not matter colors and white, has the same rights as a American citizen in the laws, but until the last century, segregation policy was still widely administrated in many states or areas in the US, such as the ufaire financial supports and the discrimination to the colors espacially to the African American. And this fact mentioned ahead (above?) proved the importance of the abidancy. 这一段要论证the importance of the abidancy，但只是说明“守法比立法更难”，本来是个新颖的视角，但是由于你没有提到为什么要遵守法律？不然后果会如何？所以仅仅说“遵守法律”难，并不等于论证了守法的必要性。所以在我看来，更完整的结构应该是： 1， 个人obey just laws很有必要，因为laws关系到社会的稳定，利益的平衡，不遵守就会…… 2， 因为法律的实行比立法更难，所以更有必要强调每一个公民要遵守just laws，不然就有悖于法律的要义和阻碍社会的进步。 例子有一些疑问：civil war确立了人人平等，但是直到上个世纪有些州还在施行隔离制度。文章讨论的是个人要不要遵守法律的问题，而例子提到的是各个州还在施行隔离制度，不是个体行为；而且各个州对于隔离制度的规定也是一种法律，更是一些unjust laws。所以，在我看来，例子需要稍稍修改：虽然civil war确立人人平等，但是几个世纪以来，人们对黑人的歧视依然存在，人们的个体行为并没有完全摈弃种族歧视。例如他们不雇佣黑人，嘲笑黑人……进一步阐述：在obey just laws的道路上，有很长的路要走，不但要服从法律的规定，更要将法的精神融入到自己的言行中。
On the other hand, even if some laws or rules are unfaire, sometimes it is also needed to abide by them or it might lead to the no confidence to the law itself. Socrates ,the founder of the westen laws , wrote in his books “the highest standard of law is trust”. As it known, the laws are a kind of social contact（social contract）and basing on the believe to it , the laws regularise the behaviors of the each and the public(有这种表述么？).（这句话的表达，起码basing on就应该改为被动：based on the belief of which, 另写一句供你参考As is well known, laws are a kind of social contracts, for which the behaviors of each public can be regulated ）Once the disobedience appears, the respect to the laws will be denigrated and the people or the society may converts their believle to the other ways including violence and cheat, which is more harmful than the unjustice itself. 这一段论证：即使unjust laws，有时候也要遵守。法作为一种社会契约，调节着人们的行为。不遵守法律，就损害了法律的权威，人们就会诉诸于暴力、欺骗。
Admittedly, the obeydience of the unjust laws does not mean they will no longer changed and the people will concede to them. In the countries of democracy ,the citizens could improve and abolish the evil laws by an effcetive legislation.In this way, both the repsect and the justice of the laws could be confirmed. 承接上一段陈述：对不公正法律的遵守，并不意味着不要改变它们，要利用合法的手段废除它们 Admittedly改成However，Admittedly是一种让步，承认事实；however，表示转折。
In sum ,except the following to the just laws ,the abiding by to the unjust ones is hard to accepted.But as the development of human society, there always some laws are waving between justice or unjustice .The negative resist rather than positive change by legal ways will creates more truoble than it reduces.
注意except与besides的用法差别。 1，文章的大体思路清楚，观点表达明确，在一些细节、例子上要修缮。 2，请你用word检查拼写和语法。文中太多的拼写错误，仅仅是laws就写错了多次，这会给人留下不好的印象，在以后的训练中，你应该要注意。一些简单的语法错误要避免 批得有些狠，见谅！其实你写的比我好，起码观点鲜明多了。加油！
[ 本帖最后由 ljc-dream 于 2008-2-20 12:28 编辑 ] | 
发表于 2008-2-18 23:31:56
回应
签到领寄托币
GO
转发
