argument18【Chasing For "6" Score】第一次作业

springelfUID: 2458536

TOPIC: ARGUMENT18 - The following appeared in an editorial in a Prunty County newspaper.

"In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County recently lowered its speed limit from 55 miles per hour to 45 on all major county roads. But the 55 mph limit should be restored, because this safety effort has failed. Most drivers are exceeding the new speed limit and the accident rate throughout Prunty County has decreased only slightly. If we want to improve the safety of our roads, we should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago: increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads. Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago."
WORDS: 382          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-2-29 18:50:17

中文提纲：1.首先，所提供的大多数司机超过新的限速的数据可能是不准确的。
         2 其次，认为限速后事故没有降低的情况并没有考虑到其他情况。
         3 PC和BC是否具有可比性。


In this argument, the editorial suggested that we should restore the new speed limit , increase the land widths and resurface the rough roads. In order to support its suggestion, the arguer cites many evidence, such as the driver's exceeding speed and the success of the Butler Country(BC). However, careful examination of his evidence, I find none of them are persuasive.

Firstly, the arguer suggest cancel the new speed limit, because most drivers exceed the speed. The evidence may be from a survey of the drivers. However the arguer provides no evidence about the source of the survey, the scientific of the survey and so on. It is entirely possible that the data of the survey is inaccurate, and in fact there are few drivers exceed the speed. If so, the evidence that most drivers exceed the new speed limit is persuasive.

Secondly, the other evidence of suggesting restoring the limited speed is the accident rate has decreased only slightly. And likewise, the evidence can bolster nothing significant. Because the happening of accident is related to many factor. if the road is very rough, the lane is very narrow, or the weather is too bad, the accident will increase. Yet, the arguer provides no information about these aspects. Perhaps, the Prunty Country (PC) was repairing the road; or the PC's climate was very bad, full of raining and foggy, and so the accident was not declining. Without ruling out other factor which can result to the increase of accident, the arguer cannot convince me that the safety effort has failed.

And finally, the arguer suggests doing something as the BC did five years ago. However the arguer neglects a premise that whether the condition of road is as same as the one of BC. Perhaps, the road lane of PC is wide enough, and the road surface is very smooth now. If it is the case, the suggestion that undertaking the same kind of road improvement project as BC is nothing significant. Therefore, the incredible suggestion cannot convince me to accept.

In sum, the suggestion has few evidence to support that it is unpersuadable. In order to support his suggestion, the arguer must provide more information that the condition of road in PC now, the climate of PC, the similarity of PC and BC, and so on.

[ 本帖最后由 springelf 于 2008-3-3 10:22 编辑 ]

headmonkeyUID: 2457387

In this argument, the editorial suggested that we should restore the new speed limit,
【But the 55 mph limit should be restored 原文中的话是这样的，说明restore的应该不是the new speed limit】increase the land widths and resurface the rough roads.【加个in PC?】 In order to support its suggestion, the arguer cites many evidence, such as the driver's exceeding speed and the success of the Butler Country(BC).【the success of BC’ new road policy会不会好点，不然BC的什么成功不明确】 However, careful examination of his evidencewith careful examination, I find none of them are persuasive.【全部没有说服力是不是太绝对了？some of them are unpersuasive 会不会好一点】

Firstly, the arguer suggest cancel the new speed limitsuggested canceling, because most drivers exceed the speed. The evidence may be from a survey of the drivers. However the arguer provides no evidence about the source of the survey, the scientific of the survey and so on. It is entirely possible that the data of the survey is inaccurate, and in fact there are few drivers exceed the speed. If so, the evidence that most drivers exceed the new speed limit is persuasive. 【springelf在这段攻击了作者提供的关于超速数据的不准确性，另外可以做个让步，即使这个数据准确，这个数据是对于所有路段来说，而PC仅在主要路段实施了限速，所以并不能说明该限速措施是否成功. Ps:前几天看到一个帖子说 作者提供的一些根据数据，尽量不要去攻击其本身的精确性，不知道是不是该这样…不过我想即使攻击，也是属于弱攻击吧，不考虑首先攻击？…呃…我也是第一次写，想请教下这个问题。】

Secondly, the other 【another】 evidence of suggesting restoring the limited speed is the accident rate has decreased only slightly. And likewise, the evidence can bolster nothing significant. Because the happening of accident is related to many factor. if the road is very rough, the lane is very narrow, or the weather is too bad, the accident will increase. Yet, the arguer provides no information about these aspects. Perhaps, the Prunty Country (PC) was repairing the road; or the PC's climate was very bad, full of raining and foggy, and so the accident was not declining. Without ruling out other factor 加swhich can result【lead】 to the increase of accident, the arguer cannot convince me that the safety effort has failed.

And finally, the arguer suggests【suggested】 doing something as the BC did 【说 emulating BC’s road measures 会不会好点。北美上看的。不过这里说做BC五年前做的（什么东西？）没说清楚，所以建议改下】 five years ago. However【but/yet/nevertheless】 the arguer neglects a premise that whether the condition加s of road【+s】 is【are】 as same as the one【those】 of BC. Perhaps, the road lane of PC is wide enough, and the road surface is very smooth now. If it is the case, the suggestion that undertaking the same kind of road improvement project as BC is nothing significant. Therefore, the incredible suggestion cannot convince me to accept.【accept 什么东西是不是该写下去？】

In sum, the suggestion has few evidence to support that it is unpersuadable.【unpersuasive】  In order to support his suggestion, the arguer must provide more information that the condition of road in PC now, the climate of PC,【such as the road conditions and the climate of PC】  the similarity of PC and BC, and so on.【To better assess the problem, I would also need to know …..】
【最后一段有点草草收笔，the similarity of PC and BC很模糊，不如直接在前面路况和天气后面加 of both countries. 另外还需要提出需要知道那个测量的精确性吧？因为正文第一段攻击的就是这个】



springelf 半个小时搞定这篇argu，要向你学习啊..我第一次写A写了3个多小时,还直接套的模板
也可能是你时间不够的原因，有些地方写的有点草率，比如每段最后都可以再踩一脚说without 什么什么，我们不能推出或相信什么，当然你有几段也都这样写了。还有就是最后一段总结的有点不够，没有根据前面几段的内容来。
逻辑结构应该还好吧，偶也是第一次所以改的能力有限，有些地方可能说错了请见谅:)

springelfUID: 2458536

谢谢headmonkey的评价，我以后会注意的。写的时候一限时就不知道要怎么写了……:loveliness: