issue130 APRIL小组 第一次作业

soulsurvivorUID: 2412280

While it is justifiable that how children are socialized destine the future of society, however, in some respects is an over-statement at best. Furthermore, the assertion that we have not yet learned how to raise children to better society is vaguely supported by subjective evidence.

The author's claim that the destiny of society is dominated by how children are socialized is proper to some ways of thinking. While the children are grown into a world of development, negotiation and cooperation, it is essential for adolescents to build up for themselves a clear view of life and value. Unless a child is given enough time and opportunities to learn how to communicate with others and to exchange ideas with peers, the child is inclined to shape into an adult without the ability to deal with the rights and wrongs. In order to make children become socialized citizens, people need to pay attention to how their schools and families train themselves to evaluate, assert and respect themselves and others. All of these can form a ingenuous atmosphere in which children will grow into upright citizens and powerful leaders.

Nevertheless, socialization is only one factor concerning the extent to which a member will contribute to a better society. In addition, to be an ultimate leader who can determine the future of society, one needs not only socialization, but also intelligence, assiduity, and insight. Consider famous leaders who have made significant contribution to better society. Bill Clinton's dedication to the States based fundamentally on his ability to make prime time for American economy, without his great commitment to society, he won't be honored to great extent no matter how he is socialized. Another remarkable example was Coco Chanel, when she first claimed women need to be taken more care of and thus designed many stylish clothes, the concept of "vogue" is newly defined--the concept of women is also observed in a new perspective. These stories fully illustrate the wheels driving society go straight forward consist of many elements, rather than socialization.

Turning to the author's claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society, fortunately, people have already learned the effective ways to cultivate children to be ready for society. If we define a better society as a world with greater acceptance of different ideas and different people, narrow gap between various cultures, then the children from an innovative epoch are making efforts to construct a better society. Our century has been consider as an era characterized by scouting talents and discovering new techniques, as well as confronting the emergence of multi ethnic and racial groups, the  more respect for the rights of women, and the crash of liberty and preservation. While people are facing such a brand new world, there is no reason for us to not believe that our children can be brought up into integral people in our education.

Admittedly, when it comes to if a child grows up to contribute to a better society; the most important factor is not socialization but rather some other factors. In addition, while our world is constantly changing day by day, our children will grow into qualified citizens in our educational ways.

rubenUID: 2163558

1.1段，however, in some respects [缺主语] is an over-statement at best.
2.1段，how to raise children to better society 与题意“how to raise children who can help bring about a better society”不符
3.2段，a ingenuous atmosphere -> an
4.3段，Coco Chanel的例子没有阐明与“better society”的关系
5.4段，how to raise children who can better society， can?，从句缺谓语
6.5段，the most important factor is not socialization but rather some other factors，is与some other factors搭配不当

小结：文章语言方面不错，只是从结构上看，逐一批驳题目两个观点的方法有点像写argument。个人观点，仅供参考

rienziUID: 2402391

求助,
楼上两位,
我也想加入April小组,
我4月17号在辽师机考,
求群号或者加入方法,
保证按时完成作业